Late Nite Thoughts

Tied to a Rope ...

2010-08-06T10:39:00.005-04:00

I recently came across a very interesting article. It was a simple observation in day-to-day life; yet made so much sense out of it.

Read on:

Failed Once- Failed Forever!!

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. "Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away.

They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we don't believe we can do it?"

Doesn't this apply to human beings as well?. We don't do many things because we have a pre-defined mindset towards certain things, and we don't even try to break free out of it.

Do you ever have a feeling of having a limited horizon for your dreams and lifestyle, just because the way you are brought up??.

I have thought about this thingy so many times, especially after coming here. I got to meet so many new people from different parts of India, and for that matter of the world. Everyone was so different. Their thinking pattern, their ideology, their philosophy, their maturity, the way they react to a particular situation, the fear-factor... all such small things vary so much person to person, country to country...

We all are basically same human beings consisting of same flesh and blood and brain. Then why are we so different?.

I guess it's all in mind.

2008-10-03T16:01:00.003-04:00

Being fat: A curse??

So just as a recap, I have always been fat and overweight. It's something, willingly or unwillingly, I have to live with. Its not that I eat excessively, I see so many people eating much more than I do, but they remain skinny and I...... I have tried to do things that people normally do to loose weight, doesn't seem to work unless I go on a strict diet regime, which means being unhappy all time because I cant eat any meat. I want to stop growing now but it seems that my genes are not willing to listen :).

It hurts somewhere. It hurts when I see other people hogging on pizzas, rice and daal, and bananas without worrying about anything. It hurts when I realise that I cant be like them.

It hurts because every time I see an ice cream, there is an avalanche of thoughts that goes on in my mind. My emotions start with excitement, to self control, to frustration, to disappointment, to a sad feeling: I cant eat this, because if I do... I will gain weight !. Its kind of frustrating. It's kind of depressing. It's kind of hopeless.

I am not a big supporter of dieting. If dieting means giving up on everything you like, then what's the point of living a life?. I feel happiness and satisfaction are more important than anything else, and even though I agree with the concept of moderation, I totally hate the mental mess of having to choose between being happy and looking cool.

I know there are millions like me.

Noone likes to be like this by choice. Everyone likes to be slim and fit and presentable. but not everyone is equally fortunate. Some have very low metabolism, some have genetic deficiencies. Things are not always in our control. One cant control hereditary symptoms or genetic set-up. Not everyone is born with with a silver spoon or super fast metabolism.

Somehow some people don't seem to understand that. Its very easy to constantly address someone "mota" or fat. But it comes with a feeling of humiliation, helplessness, frustration, anger, hatred and shame. Doesn't help the fat guy. The fat guy is already frustrated that he/she cant live a normal life, and these comments and constant reference to their size doesn't help. I guess same goes to people who are handicapped or are ugly and hideous. In that sense we include fat people in the handicapped category. I feel its not right. I dont like people passing their judgements on fat people without knowing their situation.

I like fat people. In fact fat people are more understanding, more mature and more adjusting than normal handsome, sexy, thin people. They know their limitations, they know how to adjust in less than perfect conditions. They know how it feels to be taunted; you will rarely see any fat person badmouthing or taunting anyone. I have also observed that fat people are more thoughtful and mature. They mature early because of others who don't care about their emotions. Sometimes situations teach you a lot. Fat people are also happier and content in life, because they know how to find happiness in tough situations. They also know how to make fun of themselves. They are slightly less egoistic and more open in mind.

I like fat people.

I hate some skinny people who give excessive importance to their figure and are very proud of that. I find it very self centered, pretentious and phony. I don't want to generalize, but such cases are definitely more than an exception.

I am a firm believer that everyone has a right to live, and every moment we live is a gift. I believe in treating people the way they are and not the way they look. We cant change our name, looks, nationality, mother tongue, but we can definitely change our behavior, our outlook in life and our future. I like people who think like on those lines.

So I don't think being fat is necessarily bad. In fact its good, because it teaches you a thing or two about life. Most importantly it teaches you self control and patience. It teaches you self respect and respect for others. I value that more than sexy looks and a slim body.

2008-10-03T15:21:00.007-04:00

Knowing Thyself !

It's an art. Knowing yourself is an art and a skill.

I conduct a teaching workshop at Case, and in one of the workshops we discuss different personality types based on the Kolb learning style analysis. Some people hate it, some love it. When we analyzed it further, we realized that people hate it because they don't like being scrutinized and prototyped. Fair enough. But I like one part of that analysis, which focuses on what approach each individual is likely to take to solve a problem. I actually find it very useful. See the figure below to see how it works.

I always approach the problem solving with abstract conceptualization, concrete experience, reflection and action, in THAT order. In other words, I think first and then experience it, before doing it. I like it that way. I like to do my homework before getting into something. I feel I make a significant and thoughtful contribution if I have a concept ready in my mind and also some experience. I think I am a very organized person who likes to have everything thought about and in order. Its like a slow churning process. I am an assimilator. It is not necessarily good or bad, but that's what I am and I have to accept that.

Different people approach the same problem in different ways. I have observed that closely at work and otherwise. In common language, we call it a personality difference. Rarely, I came across some individuals, whom I respect a lot otherwise, but I found them very difficult to work with. Upon thinking about it (again !!) I realized that they had a different approach of approaching a problem, they liked to do things first before thinking about possible results and their short and long term effects. Funny. It seems very simple: So what, you will say. But its not that easy if there is a direct conflict. Sometimes the situation comes to a point where two individuals have totally diametrically opposite views and progress becomes impossible. I guess it is a wiser option to accept the fact and move on.

On the other hand, its so much more pleasing to work with people with similar working styles, and similar attitude in life in general. Its gives you so much more satisfaction. In common term, we call it as wavelength matching. I feel its nothing but having a similar learning and personality styles. Things become so uncomplicated and there is never a conflict.

Of course, there are in between cases and ways to work around conflicts. But if you are trying to tap the ideal case scenarios, if you are trying to find people whom you gel well with, then I think the learning style analysis would definitely work.

So if you think that some people think way too much (which many of you think very often) and they are crazy weirdos (which many of you think sometimes), before you start hating them (which happens very often), try to think about their learning styles (and yours too). May be, there is an answer and an explanation.

2008-10-03T13:46:00.000-04:00

The other Vivek

I just want to leave everything behind, want to go back home, go away from this world, this hifi world and laptop and everything. Just want to get rid of everything I have achieved and everything I have experienced. Just want to detoxify from this modern world. Just want to wash away all these layers of complexities on me, just want to be pure again.

I want to go to a jungle, all alone, want to stay away from everyone, want to stay away from everything. I want to enjoy nature, I want to enjoy peace, I want to get back life in my soul. I want to live a simple non-complicated life. I dont want to deal with people, I am done with being hurt and hurting them. I am done with getting suffocated for others, and I am done with saying hi and hello with a smiling face to everyone just to b in their good books.

I wish I was born to some poor farmer in a remote village somewhere in India. Then I would have spent all my life just worrying about farming, and nothing else. No school, no studies, no worries about knowing English and Math. No electricity and phone, no computer and movies. No cricket, no tandoori chicken and no shopping malls.

At least I would have been happy in life. At least I would have valued small things in life and would have got so much of happiness out of it. Small things like getting a good crop, raindrops falling on your face, my bamboo hut, sunrise, moonlight and a cup of tea. Happiness comes from small things, I realised it pretty late.

I realised that, and then I realised that Life has become way too complex. And its getting complicated now. Dont know, but sometimes I wonder if there exists something like satisfaction, contentment, happiness, peace in today's world. Something is going wrong somewhere, and I dont know where. One thing I know for sure is that this is not I wanted to live like. Its almost suffocating. I feel too restricted sometimes, I feel I am holding myself back. I feel I am not allowing me to be happy.

I dont want to worry about what I eat every time, I dont want to worry about whether my boss will be happy with my work, I dont want to worry about whatever else is going on in this world. I just dont want to worry about... anything!.

Its not only me who feels that way, I know you feel the same sometimes. I know everyone feels like this, just we dont give ourselves a time to see what a mess we have created for ourselves. Or may be, perhaps we are too scared to look back at our life, may be because we dont have the courage to see it. We live our life as if we are tied to a machine that never stops. Sometimes I feel we are just going in a random purposeless motion, because if we stop, we fear that we will die. Its funny that our heart runs faster than the clock. May be because if we fall behind in time, we will die.

I wish to just vanish from this world.. sometimes I feel it would be so good if some lightening strikes, or if a massive cyclone comes or a valcano errupts and takes me away. So simple, no pain and you are gone :).

I wish...
-
The "Other" Vivek.

2008-01-04T00:51:00.000-05:00

13 Funny things you observe when you land in Bombay after a long period:

1: Bombay stinks. Literally. Bombay air has a unique aroma which is a weird mixture of spoilt trash, green chilli tadka (synonymous with vada paav), cheap country liquor, puke and food. That aroma fills up the space even before your flight lands in Bombay!. You know that you have arrived in Bombay even before getting out of flight. It actually gives you nostalgia.

2: Everything moves in a super slow motion: Everything around you (vehicles, people, and animals) moves at a super-slow speed. There is absolutely no hurry in anything they do. And timeliness is absolutely unheard of.

3: Every moment you feel as if you are going to meet with an accident: people, kids, animals, vehicles, and everything else freely roams on the road. Following lanes, not coming in a way of a driving vehicle, waiting for a proper signal and other rules are not practiced.

4: Auto rickshaws are always available at your disposal. And they somehow trace you, and they somehow know that you need a ride: they will come and stop by for a moment to see if you are interested.

5: Railway stations and streets perpetually smell of vada paav, green chilli and coriander.

6: Indians are fond of food: They talk, walk, eat, and drink food. Food is their life. Even on TV, half the channels show a food show at any given point.

7: Indians eat A LOT: I guess most of them don’t know what dieting is. Indian food is full of wrong calories and your calorie count goes haywire while eating Indian food. People like to eat a lot of food, and a lot of buttery food. A recipe is not a good one unless it has a think layer of oil on top of it.

8: Indians like to express an opinion: They talk. Wanted or unwanted, demanded or unwarranted, they talk a lot and are not hesitant a bit to express their opinions. No wonder why half the channels on TV are news channels (they are just providing a way for some people to express their views, even though mostly they are rubbish, repetitive and boring)

9: They are mobile savy: Everyone MUST have a cool mobile and everyone MUST talk loudly.

10: Spitting is a form of expression: People spit to express anger, joy, frustration, excitement, a pause in a sentence, and dominance.

11: Everyone speaks in Hindi: doesn’t matter whether you are a maharashtrian, gujju, Punjabi, sindhi, or a south Indian. Hindi is the official language of Bombay.

12: People don’t like to say “NO” to anything: they first say yes, then they think about it, then they realize that something can’t be done, and then they behave as if the conversation never happened.

13: They have profound misconceptions and beliefs, and they have no interest in rectifying them.

2008-01-04T00:40:00.000-05:00

India Diary- 1.

India is so different now. I never imagined it would be so disturbing to be back home this time. I love my country, lets not doubt that, I am a very passionate and proud Indian. However, for the first time, I was so ashamed of we Indians. Our India is beautiful, but it is our own Indians who screw everything up.

Once upon a time, Bombay was a beautiful city. It was always crowded, always fast and pacy, but it was still very beautiful. There was an element of grace there. Places like Link Road at Bandra, bandstand, Nariman point, Gateway of India, Peddar Road and recently built malls were worth visiting at least once after coming back to Mumbai after a long time (its my 3rd visit to India). When in US of A, I always look forward to visiting these places as soon as I am back to Bombay. It takes me back to my old days and reminds me of the old memoirs I had there. Somehow these places always remained peaceful. But this time it was a different case: these places have become so crowded, dirty and filthy now that one doesn’t even feel like being there. Every corner was full of paan and tobacco stains, trash, and old construction debris occupied every possible empty space. And every place was always overly crowded as well. Earlier these malls and streets used to be reasonably less dense on weekday afternoons; NOT anymore. As a result, there is no privacy, there is always someone listening to you or staring at you. If not that, then you are forced to hear their bindaas conversations on their mobiles (and have very cheap ringtones). There is no escape. Every vehicle has very loud horns and sirens while taking a reverse.

In fact Bombay now seems so noisy that there is almost never a time when things are peaceful around you. TVs are on 24-7 in every house. Autos don’t seem to have silencers anymore. People talk at a very very high decibel level. And if that’s not sufficient, there is some construction going on somewhere in your vicinity that makes all possible thuds and noises.

And construction or not, there is so much of dust in air, that it’s almost impossible to breathe freely. Pollution levels have gone crazily high. You can see a layer of dust on almost everything you see around you. It’s almost a hopeless case. And lets not even talk about increasing population, corruption and a surge of north Indians!

I am not trying to be negative here. But I am genuinely worried about people living here. Many of them are living in substandard human condition, and they themselves don’t realize that. With so much of noise and air pollution, there is no peace of mind. I am sure that many of them are facing a depressing life situation, and it may really hurt them in a long run. The quality of life is very poor: most people work more than 12 hours a day and 6 days a week in unhelpful conditions and without proper health related precautions. I am not sure where is this situation going to lead us to. We talk about making Bombay a la Shanghai and Singapore, but I seriously doubt that. In fact its fast becoming more like a big big dumpster. I thought a lot about possible solutions to improve this condition, but felt it was totally out of control.

I wish there was a magic cleaner that would take every filth away and make my city as beautiful as it was earlier.

2007-12-12T06:02:00.001-05:00

Graduate students and cricket

Sometimes we try to find a way of living our lives. We all do, just our approach is different. Just off the track, but lets get one thing straight: we are always curious about our own lives. We think about it a lot (if you dont, please do it. Its good for you) , we want to know what's going to happen in future, we want to know if everything is going well with it, we try our best to learn surviving from our past that we cant change. Consciously or unconsciously, we think about all these things. And we reach a point where we are unable to sort it out ourselves. And then we try to find some clues, some guidelines, some real life examples around us that may show us a way.

Coming back to the point, some people consult an astrologer, some others devote to God, some read books, and some others try to look around to see if someone was in a similar situation. I sometimes find cricket, the whole world of cricket very interesting in that aspect. I actually find it very simple to comprehend, and even if you are not an avid cricket fan, I feel it will make sense to you as well.

A few days back, I was thinking about lives of graduate students: PhD students (who go on for years before winding up), MS students (2 years) and MBA/MEM students (1 to 1.5 years). All get their respective degrees. All are seemingly happy with whatever they achieve in that period. If you have been thru the grad school experience, you will observe that MBA/MEM students slog day in and day out, worrying about their classes and on campus jobs (only). They are always in top gear, whereas PhD students go thru phases. There are days when they work really hard, get exciting results, do some cool work and there are days when they just hibernate. PhD students know how and when to change gears. MS students are somewhere in between. Being a former MS and now a PhD student myself, and having so many MBA/MEM friends, I have very closely observed these patterns.

I was trying to think about this vast difference between PhD and MBA/MEM students, their thinking prototype, their attitude towards life, and cricket helped me here. Try to compare MBA/MEM with 20-20 cricket, MS with One Day cricket and PhD with a Test match, and you will find so many similarities :).

MBA/MEM with 20-20 cricket:

In 20-20 game, you know that you have to perform only for a short period, so you go gung-ho. You know what you have to do and you just do it. You start hitting from first ball, don't bother about settling down, it doesn't matter how runs/ wickets come, it doesn't matter how good or bad the pitch is and if its overcast or clear, planning a strategy and developing yours skills such as endurance and grace doesn't fit in this format, you don't know whats going to happen next and the end result is more important than the course of action. The game itself is very colorful and festive with dances and firework.

PhD with Test cricket:

You start cautiously, try getting information about pitch and weather conditions before playing your game, you take some time to settle down and come in the groove, however, once you are settled its difficult to get you out, you plan your innings in your head and you mix aggression with caution in phases, the process and enjoyment of the game as as (if not more) important as the end result, one ball can get you and your team out, and your real strength is your talent, endurance as well as grace and not just brutal power, and games are sometimes won and mind rather than on field. Test cricket may not be colorful, but its absorbing and full of class.

MS with One Day cricket:

Its something in-between: you start attacking right away (like 20-20), but slow down in middle overs and consolidate innings (like Tests) before going for the kill at the end. Pitch, weather, opposition has some importance but not as much, you need endurance but sometimes you just need to go for the kill. And most games are decided on what you do in last few minutes :).

I guess our choice of grad-school and in turn our personality, and choosing a satisfying career may be as simple as knowing what you like the best: 20-20, One-Day or Test. It works for me: I like Test matches, I like that real battle going on for 5 days, I like the fact that winning a Test match takes some special talent and it cannot be a fluke. I cherish those nail biting sessions, testing bowling spells and attractively silky strokeplay. I feel the excitement in 20-20 in too short-lived. I prefer something that will be remembered forever. I like something that challenges your soul. In that (cricketing) sense, VVS Laxman's epic 281 on Eden Gardens remains to be the most inspirational story for me and I worship Steve Waugh and Rahul Dravid for their mental toughness and concentration. I sometimes even recollect some of their innings/ shots when I am in trouble and I want to just hang-in there. Sometimes, failure is not an option in life. I like the concept of such battles within ourselves.

So what do YOU prefer?

Alternate Career Options

2006-05-01T20:44:00.000-04:00

I am composing this blog after a long and boring reading session on bone physiology and cell signaling. No wonder I am thinking about alternate career options :D. Anyways, read on:

In case I get bored of my PhD, I thought I should have some alternative career options ready. With a completed MS degree, and a half-complete PhD in Biomedical Engineering; I don't think anyone will give me a job in a Non-Tissue-Engineering field. In case I happen to go back to India, I guess I will have to apply for some call-center job, or may be a clerical position in Bombay Municipal Corporation. I guess I can do bit better than that. Here are some alternative career options I thought would suit me.

I could be:

A barber: Trust me, I do okay haircuts. I have two years of practical experience. And I was doing good in those two years. Well, I recently upgraded myself. (Please control your emotions, and refrain from thinking that I am a mentally gone case). These days, I do my own haircuts. It's not a question of money, but I get amazing satisfaction after doing a good job with my own haircut. I always thought that cutting my own hair would be a big challenge (if you are not convinced, try trimming hair on the back of your head); I brought a trimmer one day and tried. It worked. And it works better with each passing experience. So I guess this would be a good job.

A trekking instructor: At one point (2 years back) I was actually thinking of joining the institute at Manali that trains individuals as trainers/ instructors for Everest Base Camp. During my Rohtang Pass trek 10 years back, I met some of the Everest mountaineers and some of those trainees; and I was totally fascinated with the idea of being close to the ultimate peak for entire life. The whole idea was to stay put at the Everest Base Camp and guide people coming there. I have some experience of teaching people rock climbing and rappelling. I guess this would be one excellent opportunity to pursue my hobby / passion as a profession.

Cook/ Chef: I just about manage to totally mess up food/ cuisine/ dish just at the end. Anything I prepare looks good, but same cant be said about the taste. I guess I (and my cooking) would be a very good example of how NOT to prepare food, and mess up with it. Yeah! even that could be a paid job. Why not ??

Domestic help: I have recently developed this liking with neatness and cleanliness. I guess I wont complain if I get 20-25 dollars per hour for cleaning someone's apartment.

A specimen: I am ridiculously pathetic in swimming, singing, and dancing (yeah you can add 'studies' to this ! ). I could be an excellent example of a lower limit in these cases. Every parameter needs a reference. If one says a certain thing is good / bad; one needs to compare that parameter with some reference frame (that is usually constant and is close to zero). I could be a very good reference. Absolute rubbish can be safely considered as zero. So, I am a very reliable reference frame :D.

Alternative fuel: I have excess of fat and muscle. And I have amazing ability of producing them in abundance. If someone is willing to invent a technology that converts fat and muscle to useful energy resource; I could be a big help to mankind. Seriously.

:).

OK, enough !. I guess I would do well to complete my PhD :D.

Good Days, Bad Days: Part Three: Bad Day

2006-04-22T00:32:00.000-04:00

Well, as there are very good days, there are very bad days as well.

Last Wednesday was a terrible, terrible day for me:

1: My laptop suddenly stopped functioning. It died all of a sudden. The tech-support at Case told me that the motherboard needs to be replaced. My laptop is past guarantee period.

2: I was totally upset with that news, and at the same time, I was trying to set up a new protocol for my new set of experiments. It turned out to be way more complicated than I thought. It took my almost half a day.

3: I wanted to send the protocol to my supervisor, so I was composing an email. I got bored, so thought of saving the mail. My first draft is always very messy, it has many short-forms, has tons of spelling and grammatical mistakes. Anyone reading it would find it very disgusting.

Well, instead of clicking the "Save" button, I clicked the "Send" button !!. It was a "mistake" !!. Dam*It !

4: So there was a need of face-saving act. I completed the e-mail, spell-checked it, corrected all formatting issues, wrote a short note explaining the circumstances of previous crap. I thought I should CC that mail to myself (I have this habit of CCing important mails to myself. Dont ask me why. Gmail has unlimited space, so who cares)

Well, instead of sending it to myself, I sent it to the other Vivek (W). I had to send couple of more emails to my supervisor and to Vivek explaining the circumstances. My reputation was seriously at stake.

5: If all this mess was not enough for the day, I broke my MP3 player in the evening.

I was working out on the rowing machine in the gym, something happened, and the next thing I saw was that my MP3 player was lying 3 feet away from me, wide open and dismantled.. Now, I have to hold it up using a band-aid !!!

.................

I just didn't imagine that a day could be so bad. My laptop was very dear to me. The circumstances under which I bought it, the kind of pain (Literally. It weighed almost 9 Lbs with accessories. It almost broke my shoulder one day. But I had this sense of belonging to my laptop, and I would enjoy that pain. Because it was MY laptop) I went thru, some of the unforgettable moments I had with my laptop, and all those Seinfeld memories made it much more valuable than its mere monetary value. I dont think I am going to put a new motherboard in it, as the hardware + equipment cost would be more than its present value.

I am not much worried about money factor (My policy: Money comes, and goes. One should not care too much about the things that are not in our control). Its just that I am feeling a huge void in my life since Wednesday.

I was so used to having a laptop at my disposal all the time. First thing I would do after waking up was switching on the laptop and check news / mail. And same before sleeping. Now every morning and nite seems very strange. I just wake up, take bath, and drive to work.

And same happens at work as well. I used to take my laptop to work everyday, and everyone just assumed that I would use it for daily work. Now, I dont have a computer for me, and have to depend on others' to do simple things like check mails or print a document.

It just feels different. I guess I will get used to it, and will start spending more time with my image-analysis Linux box. Some of my personal things are very dear to me, and my laptop was one of them.

................

May be its a good thing to happen to me. With qualifiers coming up in a month's time, I guess it would do me a world of good to stay away from Email-Gmail as much as I can.

Its said that whatever happens, happens for good: I dont know if that's always true, but I guess it helps a lot if we think about it in that spirit. Things become easier to digest. What say?

Good Days, Bad Days: Part Two: Cleveland

2006-04-21T22:59:00.000-04:00

Warning: I strongly urge all the readers NOT to form any false opinion and NOT to have any suspicion about the intelligence of the students representing either Drexel University or Case Western Reserve University. I also strongly advise the readers to completely understand and bear in mind that even PhD students as well as highly educated and 'corporate' individuals could have a child hidden in them; and they could go crazy sometimes. Socially avoiding the below-mentioned individuals or recommending a mental-healing treatment is left to the discretion of the reader.

If you are not an Indian, I request you to kindly discard rest of the blog.

............

Well, if meeting old Clemson friends was fun; meeting my very old pals from Bombay the following weekend was a total epitome of stupidity, absurdity and lunacy.

As I was returning from Novi, I got a call from Shubham saying that he's planning to be in Cleveland next weekend with his gang. He also told me that 6 of them (Rohan, Hemang, Ruchita, Shubham, Surendra, Sameer) were planning a road trip over the weekend and the plan was to explore Cleveland. I was hoping to have a sunny and warm weekend, so that we could go to the Headlands beach in Mentor. Its supposed to be a very good lake-side beach, and I was looking forward to visit the place.

But come Friday, and it was fairly clear that the weekend was going to be a cold and rainy one; the beach outing was totally ruled out. So we had no option but to explore Cleveland downtown and surrounding places. Since I am still relatively new to Cleveland, I was kind of excited as well as skeptical about next two days.

Well... they reached Cleveland late on Friday nite, and it was a total riot thereafter for next day and half. We started the next day with a healthy brunch at IHOP, then explored the Coventry area for a bit, then went to lakeside Edgewater Park. After spending some time on the shore of Lake Erie, we moved on to explore the Great Lakes Science Center, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Tower City- Public Square. After spending lot of time in Cleveland downtown, we moved on to Parma and visited Cleveland temple, had dinner at Jaipur Junction. We spent most of the nite at Youngstown Lanes enjoying bowling and sipping some beer. And just before returning home, we stopped by the nearby Baskin Robins for a 3-scoop Sundae. And after returning home, we saw a Govinda- Raveena movie: Dulhe Raja, which is a completely laughing riot.

Cleveland downtown is much more enjoyable than I thought it would be. It was total fun roaming around in the Science Center as well as the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame. And for a bunch of Indians, and especially for Bombayites, it was a very good outing. However, the above mentioned description was the most boring part of the day. The main and most interesting part was making of the movie: "Srimaan".

These guys from Philadelphia are heavily influenced by Hindi movies, Mithun Da, Govinda, and Rajni Kanth. They talk hindi movies, walk hindi movies, eat hindi movies... and if that's not enough, they make Hindi movies.

If you have some spare time, you have nothing else to do, and you are really suffering from extreme boredom, have a look at the snapshots of some of the movies they have tried to make:

Clip 1

Clip 2

Clip 3

Clip 4

And they even take interviews of the audience (this is too much). Check this out:

Clip 1

And these guys were in a process of making yet another movie, and they chose Cleveland as the backdrop. The shooting started in my apartment, it continued in my parking lot, it also took place in the downtown as well as in the temple and the bowling alleys. The most interesting part of the movie and what totally amazed me during the shooting was that they didnt have a story in mind. These guys work in opposite manner. They first shoot different scenes, record fight sequences, write dialogues, and then write a story that fits all these things!!... How amazing!!

Well, they shot emotional (!!!!!!) scenes in my apartment. The dashing entry of the hero (ShahRukh Khan style) was shot in my apartment entrance. The fight sequences as well as the hero-villain climax was shot on the slope of the Science Center. The romantic (!!!!) sequences and dance parts were captured in the backdrop of Lake Erie and The Hall of Fame Museum. These guys don't yet have a heroine for the movie. But that didn't deter them from proceeding.

Apparently, I am also acting in this movie. They told me that they shot me while I was sleeping. And then we enacted a "parting" scene, which was full of emotions and melodrama. I have absolutely no clue how these two clips are going to be incorporated in the movie. For that matter, I still have no clue about what and why they were shooting a few scenes.

If this is not enough, take this: This movie also has guns and all the ammo. We bought the guns from the dollar store. The hero actually shot a couple of bullets at the villain in downtown itself. There was so much violence!!... We also kidnapped our own driver (Rohan) and his navigator (Surendra) with the guns, demanded water bottle as ransom, we negotiated, and released the navigator only after we got one!!!

.............

As people grow up, we see two types of people: some people become mature and act responsibly. Some others dont grow up and refuse to get mature. I'd never imagined that there were third type of individuals as well: people who grow up and yet act like kids !! (This dialogue is inspired by one in Rang De Basanti).

For a day and half, I guess we all were in the third category.

On Sunday morning, these guys left; and I returned to the first category. Wish I could stay longer in the third one.

Good Days, Bad Days: Part One: Novi

2006-04-21T20:37:00.000-04:00

These days, I am having pretty good time, especially on weekends. I am totally enjoying myself, and feel rejuvenated.

It started 3 weekends back with a trip to Novi, MI. Some of my Clemson friends (Archie, Suketu, Vikram, Shruti) moved to Novi a few weeks back. I wanted to meet them, but was kind of lazy to be out of Cleveland on weekends. In first week of April, I realised that I hadn't been out of Cleveland since I returned from Grand Canyon trip in January. That thought instantly unsettled me; in next couple of days I was all flustered, demented and, and I was dying to drive out of Cleveland.

Novi is a nice little town close to Detroit. Its much like Ann Arbour or Farmington. Some places in Michigan have this "feel good" factor: very peaceful-n-quiet, beautiful, not too big-not too small. Just perfect. I like that. It gives a good break from hectic and routine city life. After spending good 22 years in hustle- bustle of Bombay; next 3 years in extremely peaceful, quiet, yet beautiful place like Clemson; and now almost 9 months in Cleveland; I have started to appreciate the occasional breaks from routine life. May be that's why I enjoy places like Ann Arbor, Novi, Dayton, etc. Anyways.

It was great to meet Archie, Suketu, Vikram, and Shruti after a long time. It really feels good to meet good old friends, and catch up after long long time. I haven't been in touch with too many Clemson people these days, and I was totally unaware of things happening there. We had nice time in catching up, and remembering some old stories and "hall-of-fame" incidences. In the evening, after having dinner at a Mongolian place called "Sizzling Sticks", we went for some bowling.

Believe it or not, I 'd never tried bowling before. I was under the impression that the bowling balls are made of very lite-weight polymer, and its the throwing speed that determines how many pins one knocks down. Well, I soon realised that I was terribly wrong with my concepts. In first couple of strikes, I tried to throw a very heavy (12 pound) ball at a super-fast speed. According to my concepts of physics, I should have been able to knock down all the pins. But that did not happen.

I guess something is either wrong with my concepts, or I am applying some wrong principles to this. These Newton, Einstein, Galileo guys make things very complicated. No wonder some people prefer to take up sports as a profession than trying to apply the Newton's second law of motion to analyze the projectile of a home run !

My fingers started hurting terribly after that adventure. And it affected my performance thereafter. Obviously, soon it was a comedy show for rest of the audience. My attempts of making a "perfect" strike included throwing the ball backwards (behind me), almost slipping on the on the alley, and consistently rolling the ball in the gutter, and what not. Well, it was not as bad as it sounds. I did have a few good strikes, spares and some good shots. Even though I could not cross the 100-barrier (my highest was 96), had a lot of fun.

It was a very refreshing weekend. Hopefully I can meet my freinds again sometime in summer. I am planning a camping trip in Upper Peninsula of Michigan sometime in summer. It should be fun.

Well done, Dr. Sen-Gupta

2006-04-17T21:04:00.000-04:00

I was reading the latest issue of 'Biopotential', our Graduate Students' newsletter the other day. It features a detailed personal interview (on page 5) of Dr. Anirban Sen-Gupta, the latest addition to the faculty at Case-BME.

I keenly read that, and found some of the answers very interesting. While reading it, I was subconsciously thinking about those questions in my mind. I was actually very surprised to see Dr. Sen-Gupta commenting on some of the questions in exactly the same manner as I would have answered them.

For e.g. Read this:

What were your favorite parts of being a grad student... and your least favorites?

Most favorite part: understanding why it is called Doctor of "Philosophy" ...makes you philosophical after a year or two about every success and every failure, every positive and every negative thing happening in your life. You kind of imbibe that "Oh well, that's life" mentality.

Least favorite part: As an "international student" with visa limitations, I guess the least favorite part was being in a very tight economic situation, as I was not allowed, by federal law, to work outside of the campus and had to squeeze everything within a measly grad stipend. Over past several years I see that the stipend has increased a lot, but when I first started, things would be just enough for paying the rent and doing some very calculated groceries, that's it.

What do you like so far about being a prof? How does it feel on the .other. side?

I like a bunch of things about being a prof:

1) The salary of course!!

2) The chance to contribute to the students' career

3) The opportunity to come to terms with my own strengths and weaknesses about being "responsible", even if partially, for hundreds of students.

4) The glee and content I see in my parents' eyes when I get to meet them, maybe, a rare one time in two years; I think, in their mind and somewhat with respect to the Indian culture, they feel that I have at last "established" myself ...

Being on the "other" side feels great and at the same time, once-in-a-while, makes me feel damned nervous. "Responsibility" always brings a sense of "risk", a sense of "uncertainty"; being responsible, to whatever extent, for the career development for hundreds of students has the "thrill", as well as, that "can I do it?" feeling associated to it, especially during the initial years. I guess once I loose all my hair, get perennial migraine and start wearing 1 inch thick glasses, that nervous feeling will go away.

Do you have any advice for new grad students?

Yeah, start getting used to working at least 15 hours a day, through most of the year; and once in a while take a vacation to clear your head. Don't do your research because you "have to"; do it because you "want to"

What about grad students nearing the end of their program?

End of "grad years" brings even more "uncertainty" to life if you think big picture; "job uncertainty", "family uncertainty" and what not. So take strength from all the tough times that you have had to go through during your grad years and dive into the bigger sea of things with confidence. Life, in itself, is a never-ending program; graduating here, is just the beginning.

What are some of your non-professional interests/hobbies?

Sports: Soccer, Racquetball, Ping-Pong.

Music: Indian Classical Instruments and Western anything with good guitar pieces. Traveling to unknown, "non-tourist" places to explore them.

---

Very well said, Dr. Sen-Dupta, I must say !. I was particularly impressed about the "philosophy" part, as well as the other side of being PhD part.

After Dr. Baskaran, Dr. Sen-Gupta is second faculty of Indian origin in our department. Both are excellent ambassadors of my country; and I am sure that they will be perfect role models for budding PhDs like me in years to come.

One more of those unforgettable moments!!

2006-04-10T20:05:00.000-04:00

Last week, I experienced one more of those unforgettable moments. It was totally unexpected and unplanned. But I will remember that nite for long time. I'd never felt so excited, so invigorating, so spirited in months...

Here goes the sequence of events:

Background: I am in a process of upgrading my room (and myself as well;) ), and recently bought a queen size bed. I wanted to buy the bed sheet, fitting sheet, etc. for my new bed. Since I am hopelessly bad at shopping such things, I asked my friend J if she could help me out. J obliged.

9.00 PM: I was just coming out of gym, and J called to ask if that was a good time to go for shopping. Since I had nothing else to do that nite, I agreed.

9.45 PM: We enter K-mart. As per my standards, this thingy should have been over in precisely 4 minutes. Make it 10, including all unforeseen circumstances. It was just a matter of choosing the right size, color and fabric.

11.15 PM: We came out of K-mart. It took an hour and half to buy one set of bedsheets !!. Man, shopping with a girl is *pain*. I try my best to avoid this calamity, but this was an unavoidable case.

11.30 PM: I was yet to have my dinner, and was very hungry; so we went to a nearby IHOP for dinner.

Till this point, the weather was fairly normal: not too breezy, clear skies, temperature in high 30s. The day itself was fairly warm. I didn't even bother to carry my winter jacket.

12.15 AM: We came out of I-HOP. It was very chilly and extremely breezy outside. So we were kinda hurrying up to my car. Just then it started raining heavily. We'd never anticipated this change in climate so fast (45 minutes), and were completely taken by surprise. By the time we settled in the car, it was raining cats and dogs, and we could sense the strong wind as well; as it was pouring from all directions.

12.45 AM: I was driving towards home. Meanwhile,the mercury went down further, and now there was a heavy snow-storm instead of rain. The snow was coming down heavily, and the wind had actually picked up. It was bit difficult to drive at that time, but we continued.

Any sensible person would have preferred to go home, and relax. But out of nowhere, J said: "you know, the lake would be really beautiful at this time". Hmmm.... heavy snow, very strong wind, and lake..... Somehow I thought it would be really cool. So instead of going home, we were now en-route to the Edgewater Park.

The Cliff Drive near Cleveland's Lakefront State park is one of my most favorite spots in Cleveland. Its a one way road, with Lake Erie one one side, and very high-class bungalows on the other. It probably gives one of the best views and feel of the lake, as well as the city. I was driving on the Cliff Drive, enjoying the snow, wind and the lake. I could actually see huge waves in the lake. Not very often one does get to see that.

1.00 AM: We stopped at one spot; it gave the best view of the lake. I dont know why, but felt like opening my window. I just wanted to "feel" the outside atmosphere. I did it for a moment. I could smell the salty lake. I could hear the roars of the waves. It was almost as if I was on sea-shore; except that it was snowing heavily, and it was horribly windy.

I closed the window. Didn't want to spoil my car. It was indeed a cool experience, I thanked J for the idea, and started driving. But somewhere within I was not satisfied. I wanted more of that "feel". I wanted more of that experience. I wanted to face that wind, wanted to feel the snow, and wanted to smell the lake. I was not ready to leave the place. But wasn't sure of getting out of the car. Any sensible person wouldn't have thought of doing that.

1.10 AM: I did it!. I returned to Cliff Drive, parked my car and stepped out with just a thin pullover. Now I was directly facing the snow and the typhoon. And I could sense the zephyr directly coming off the lake. I stood motionless for a few minutes, until I could not sense my nose, fingers and ears any more.

Boy !!... I don't know why but those moments were one of the most nostalgic ones I've experienced in a while. So many thoughts just deluged my mind in those moments: my past, my present, my future, my hobbies, my passion, my parents, my religion, my friends, my close ones, my loved ones... responsibilities, promises, hopes, failures, dreams... it was a total cascade of thoughts; and it completely swamped me at that moment. I probably cant describe everything in words, but I hope you have an idea of a state of mind one can have while standing in a snowstorm on a lakefront at midnight.

1.20 AM: I returned in my car. I guess my face showed the contentment and everything I felt while standing outside. J thought I was going crazy.

May be I was...

(Not) Being The Best

2006-03-28T23:21:00.000-05:00

I was reading an interview of a famous personality the other day. This person (lets call him the No.1 Dude) is truly on top in his field, and has earned this coveted position with absolute hard work, sheer passion and single-minded quest to be on top. I dont remember the exact quotes, but it was something like this:

"I always wanted to be the best in my field. Since very beginning, my only aim was to reach the no. 1 spot. I worked hard, practiced a lot, and with sheer determination, passion and practice; I am glad to be at the position I am today...

... I've made lots of sacrifices in my personal life, I have missed many other things that other get to do and enjoy... all these years my only aim of life was to see this day. However, I am a satisfied and happy man today"

!!!

Being the best in the field, reaching this top spot; and yet being happy and satisfied ??. Really ??

!!!

This interview got me thinking:

I am not sure if being the best is the best thing to happen; rather aiming to be the best is the best thing to do. Take the case of this No. 1 Dude. He must have missed so many things in his life, just for his quest of being the best. He must have sacrificed so many other opportunities of enjoying his life. He must have made so many compromises along the road. And since he has achieved what he aimed for, I am sure he must be unsure of his future.

Is it all worth the few moments (may be days, or years) of being on top?

The only thing that is certain after reaching the top spot is failure. Absolute failure. No matter now hard you try, one day you have to relinquish the top spot. after that, its all downward path. Being on the top spot comes with extreme pressure to perform, the fear of failure, and even more sacrifices. Then whats the point in dreaming about being the best?. And all the happiness and pleasure that this No.1 dude claims to have got, is it really the true happiness, or is it just a state of hallucination?

OK, One may argue that the whole process is worth the happiness and ecstasy one gets after reaching the pinnacle. Point noted. But what about all the sacrifices one has to make?.. What about all those missed opportunities, and missing all the pleasure a common man gets from just being a normal man?.

Is being single mindedly passionate (and in the process forgetting about other things in life) the right thing to do?. Many of us tend to do that.

I am not quite sure about it.

In many ways, I am an aesthete person, and believe in living an aesthetic life (except in case of love, commitment, and friendship. I am very much an ethical person in these things). Kierkegaard defines the aesthetic stage as the stage in which man acts in such a way that will bring pleasure or happiness to himself - that is his main motivation and concern. I like being in that stage. I like to live every moment of life, experience new horizons, and enjoy small things along the way. I play this game of life for the sake of enjoyment and experience, and not to win. I believe that life is too short to aim for one particular goal in life sacrificing others. The whole idea of being the No. 1 does not quite excite me.

Does it mean that I lack skills or I dont have the desire to achieve something?... Not at all !!

I very much enjoy being at No. 2. Its my favorite position: the position which shows the promise and capability of being the best, yet not striving for it. There is no pressure, no sacrifices. Nor does it have any compromises, yet it is full of promise and potential. I just like to hang-in there. I probably dont want to be the richest in the world, or the most successful, but I want to be happy and satisfied.

When I am on the death-bed, I dont want to get a feeling that I missed living (and experiencing) something in this process called life. I would hate to have that feeling. My No.2 position lets me enjoy my life the way I want, and also puts me in a position where I am comfortable and successful. For me, its a win-win situation.

May be that's just me, the way I am !

Getting Into a Perfect Routine ??.. You're Kidding. You Are Just a Human.

2006-03-24T01:07:00.000-05:00

Have you ever tried to be a perfectionist in daily routine?. Have you set certain strict personal goals for your immediate future?. Have you ever been able to achieve your goals?. Do you give yourself any allowances while analyzing your quest of being a perfectionist in personal daily routine?. What do you do when you disappoint yourself in that regard? Do you think about all these things at all?.

Sometimes, I do.

I will give one example (And this time, it's from my own life !!.. And it's absolutely personal and true, Mr. Anonymous :) ):

Ever since I came to the States, I have always been a 'nite man'. I was a regular in the 2.50 AM bus in Clemson; and even otherwise I would be awake till 3 AM or so. It was a habit, and I thought that schedule suited me the best. I used to really concentrate well in the 10 PM to 2 AM period. This habit continued in Cleveland as well (well, I had too many home works and assignments to do; I have spent more nite-outs in past 8 months, than any other period of my life so far)

Anyways, on January 1st 2006, on the new year's eve, I made a resolution that I would be a 'day man'.

Everyone in my lab comes early (Cynthia comes at 5.30 AM, and Rick comes at 6 AM), and everyone else is generally there by 9 or so. I come pretty late, and leave late. I wanted to change that.

My 'concept' of a perfect day is to wake up at 7, be in the lab by 8, work, take a lunch break at noon, work, leave at 5.30; then go to gym in the evening, play racquetball or work out, come home, have lite dinner, relax a bit, read some book, and go to sleep at 11.

It seemed to be bit too perfect, but I thought it would be really good to get into this routine, and make it a habit. It was fairly challenging to me to change my daily routine, and habits; but I wanted to give it a try. I was striving for 'that' perfection in life.

I tried, I am still trying, but I haven't been able to achieve what I wanted to. I tried hard to hit bed at 11, but something or other prevented me from doing that. I tried the extreme self-control methods as well: Stopped doing nite-outs, stopped doing Thursday nite outings, switched off my mobile at 11, made it a habit to read something interesting every day, completely stopped chatting... I improved my eating habits, I started working out regularly... yet... I am yet to have "that" perfect day. Invariably I dont sleep before 1 or 2. My brain just refuses to stop working before that. Nite time is my favorite time: I sometimes do blogging, sometimes catching up with things happening around the world, sometimes watch a good game a cricket.

Even in daytime, something or else comes up: like home works, quizzes, or problems with experiments and data analysis; you name it!!. But "that" perfect day hasn't yet arrived.

Why is it so difficult?... It seems to be a really trivial thing to maintain a normal "perfect" routine; Then why??... Am I setting my goals too high??... Am I trying to get something that is beyond my reach?... Is it impossible??. I havent given up yet.

...

I tried talking about it with A.

A Said: " Buddy, you are thinking too much. Dont think so much about these crappy things. Just enjoy life. Go clubbing, have some drinks, have fun. Some girls are pretty hot, I enjoy dancing with them till late... may be till 2 or 3. You must be a fool to try sleeping at 11. Get a life for yourself".

Fool.. I was not. I want to be a "day man". And I also enjoy my life totally the way I want ( I am writing a blog on that as well) , may be my ways of enjoying life are different than A's.

Then I asked B about it.

B said: "Vivek, you know where are you going wrong?, You are not being yourself. You are trying to be someone who is totally different than what you are. May be you will get a good routine going; but will that make you happy?. Happiness lies in just being yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. You are doing very well with your work and studies; and that should be a good enough reason to be happy. Why do you want more?. Why are you striving for perfection. Dont worry about it, this is just one phase in your life, I am sure you will be on a good routine once things start getting less hectic, you are done with qualifiers, and your research gets more organised."

Sometimes B talks sense. May be B was right.

Yet, I am not able to find a satisfactory answer on whether to strive for perfection or just live life the way one pleases to.

I am liking this new phase though; am feeling much healthier and energetic. I guess at the moment, I am in the purification phase :D. So I dont know if I will resume my favorite nite outs and Thursday nites; at the moment I am happy with the way it is going.

Past !!

2006-03-16T19:17:00.000-05:00

Priya and Chetan (names changed) were my good friends in Clemson.

Priya and Chetan joined the school in same semester, and were in same department. But were single at that time. Slowly,but surely, they became good friends. They started spending a lot of time with each other, started sharing their thoughts and emotions with each other. Their friendship grew day-by-day, and in next 6 months, they were very close friends. One fine day, Chetan asked Priya if they could be more than friends; and Priya was more than happy to accept the proposal. We all were very happy to see them together; as they were perfect for each other, and made a very good pair. It all went well for a while. Priya and Chetan were now totally, deeply in love with each other. Priya and Chetan was a perfect couple one could get to see.

One thing was bothering Chetan somewhere within: he did not know much about Priya's past, and he never asked her about it before. One day, he made up his mind, and asked her about it. Priya did not want to hide her past from Chetan. She told him that she had a boyfriend in her college days; they were together for three years, and they broke up couple of years back. She told him everything she could about her past relationship. Priya thought it would be unfair on her part to hide her past relationship from her new partner.

Chetan was totally shattered to hear all that from Priya. He could not digest the fact that his girlfriend had shared intimate moments with some other guy. He could not accept and digest Priya's past. Even though he trusted and loved Priya very much; he could not get over that. He lost his composure, forgot all the nice time he had with Priya, and one day broke the relationship. Chetan wanted to break all the romantic links with Priya, and his reason was that he could not imagine his girlfriend having a past with someone else.

....

Past sucks. Past hurts. Past haunts.

....

Past is something that you can not dissociate with your personality. You have to live with your past all the time; you always have to carry it on your back.

Well, past is not as easy to think about as it seems. There is a good past, and a bad past. Somehow people tend to neglect one over the other. We see so many people who live IN past, and so many others who live ON past. There are so many politicians, cricketers, film stars living IN and ON past. Noone remembers them for their 'bad' past; they will always be remembered for their legacy and great things they did. Its all part of life.

However, generally speaking, in most cases we tend to quickly forget the 'good' past of an individual. But 'bad' past sticks to the personality forever.

The other day, I was talking with my engineering friend Dipak (name changed). Dipak had recently arrived in the States for on-site job assignment thru his company in India. Dipak was out of touch with our other classmates, and had no info. about what others are up to. We started talking about our other friends in US, and there was a mention about another friend of ours, Prachi (name changed). Prachi is pursuing her PhD in a very interesting subject at a very reputed university, and is doing very well.

When I told Dipak about Prachi; he was in utter disbelief and shock. He told me that he didnt believe Prachi could be a good PhD student. He also told me that he didn't think Prachi had a required acumen for completing a degree in US, let alone doing some path-breaking research. I asked Dipak why he thought so, and he answered that Prachi's past proves that she's is poor student and a very shallow human being in general.

Yes, Prachi was not a good student in her engineering days. She was in bad company; she was also into drugs and other addictions at a point. She never scored good grades. She never applied herself. And in general, she was 'wasted' in her engineering days. Her past was not encouraging at all, rather it was shameful struggle.

But things changed after Prachi came to US. She developed the liking for her subject, she got into a good decent company, and she was indeed doing very well with her studies, and her personal life as well. I, in fact respect Prachi a lot, for what she has achieved in past couple of years. I hardly knew Prachi in Bombay, but she's my very good friend now. In spite of knowing about her character and past, her present has made me respect her a lot. I always think of Prachi as I know her with her present, than past.

Yet, in Dipak's view, she is wasted, and hopeless !!

...

Why do people judge others on the basis of their past?.

...

Yes, I do agree that knowing someone's past helps you to know that person better. But at the same time,doesn't it encourage you to be judgemental about that person?. Its probably unfair, and not justified.

It biases the entire judgement about (and the following interaction / communication with) that person. There is a great chance that knowing past may provoke you to maintain a certain distance from that person; which actually prevents you to know that person in a better manner.

I personally judge and understand a person on the basis of his present (and future, if he holds one); and I really prefer others judging me in a similar manner. I am not a person who dwells in past too much. Past is past. I learn a lot from the past, enjoy the better moments, and move on. I don't have too many problems with my past (and I am proud of whatever I have done); yet I guess I would prefer to be defined by my present, and future; than my past.

Jan Glidewell has made a very nice quote on past:

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.”

Thats the mistake many of us commit, don't we?

Missing

2006-03-15T00:36:00.000-05:00

Two blogs are missing from my list: Reports of two of my recent hiking trips; to Kuari Pass and Grand Canyon-Death Valley.

People often ask me why am I not writing those, especially when I insist that those were some of the best days of my life so far.

Well, the report of the Death Valley and Grand Canyon trip should be up soon. Ramya is writing a 300 page novel on the trip, and I hope she finishes it up sometime soon. I will post the edited version of that when it's done. Ramya is a fantastic writer, and I am sure she will do a great job in putting those 10 days in words.

Kuari Pass trek... I have made several attempts to write about this one, but my very ordinary writing skills and extremely limited vocabulary do not do a justice to those 20 days. I have tried several times... But I am not able to put up a nice report.

I get nostalgia; I choke up; My fingers freeze.

...

I cant describe my state of mind, all the emotions I had, when I got that first glimpse of all those Himalayn peaks from top of the Kuari Pass. I cant describe how I felt to reach there. I cant expound all those those moments I lived in those 20 days... those moments for which I went all the way from US to India, walked almost 100 kilometers, climbed 8,000 ft. to reach the elevation of 14,000.

I can not.

...

I want to enunciate the feelings I have for those 30 people whom I didnt know before the trip... those 30 people who were part of my my life in those 20 days. I want to write about Milind, Amol, Sushant, and Sripad... I had never met these 4 guys in my life... we met, lived those 20 days together and parted after the hike was over... but they gave me some of the most treasured moments of my life. They redefined the meaning of friendship to me.

I cannot forget those three nites we spent just below the Kuari pass... it was windy... at times we feared that our tents would just blow away with that wind... we would have been dead in a minute had that happened... it was so freezing cold that we would think twice even before taking a pee... we kept ourselves awake by playing cards, singing songs, sharing our stories and dreams, till the wind receded.

I sometimes feel terribly short of words to express these things.

....

I guess some moments are just to be cherished and remembered.. forever.

....

I am sure that a 67 year old man, Mr. Kulkarni, would remember these moments forever his life; I am sure that a certain gentleman; whom we nicknamed 'Motilal', would remember all the pranks we made on him.

...

I am sure that Devang , a 9 year old kid, will remember this for rest of his life. Devang, who puked several times because he could not take the exertion; but, like a brave tiger, reached the summit before everyone else did; On top of Kuari Pass, when everyone was mesimerised and overwhlemed by everything that was on display, this kid innocently asked his father "Baba, Is the trek over?". !!

I wish I could meet these people again... I dont know how it would be; if it would feel same or otherwise. I dont know if I can meet them at all.. but they will always be there with me.

Relationships

2006-03-10T00:23:00.000-05:00

World population: 6,597,883,766
India's population: 1,027,015,247
Mumbai's population: 12,622,500

Yet most of us take so long to choose ONE partner for rest of the lif; and have a happy, healthy, and long lasting relationship.

ONE.

Isn't that interesting?.

We should thank God that he assigned us our biological parents, and other relatives. Otherwise, our entire life would have been a very messy affair with so many complexities, personal problems, mental suffocation, indecision, an inferiority complex, and with so many options to choose from.. some failures and broken hearts. Of course, there is also happiness, love, satisfaction, security and all those goody goody things. But they all come in a package. You cant choose gold and discard the trash.

Relationship... Why is it so complex?... Is it really that complex?? Or are WE making it complex??

(I am not discussing my personal life here. These are just thoughts that came to my mind while deeply thinking about the whole issue. Actually, I am learning all about these complexities from people coming across at various points in this journey called life. Just tracking and observing some individuals teaches so many things in life, which cant be understood by reading books and getting degrees)

I was sitting in McNulty's the other day with some of my buddies. After couple of beers, two of my friends, Priya and Sachin (names changed, of course) started a very interesting conversation (Thoughts just start flowing after couple of beers, don't they :). Anyways). I was the third person involved in the discussion:

Priya: "Hey Sachin, you have been in Cleveland for about 8 months now, you should get a steady girlfriend"

Sachin: " Well Priya, I haven't found one yet. You know its not as easy as shown in movies. We are talking about real life here"

Priya: "Cmon, there must be someone. Look around, spend some time with someone you have in mind and you will find one"

Sachin: " May be I will"

Sachin: "Tell me, why does one need a girlfriend?" (Beer effect !!! Sachin gets philosophical now)

Priya: "Well, don't you need someone to open your mind, talk about some things which you cant share with everyone?"

Sachin: "I have some very close friends, with whom I can talk about some serious stuff. For that matter, anything close to my heart. Why do I need a girlfriend for that??"

Priya: "Don't you want to take someone on a date, and have nice dinner and a movie with her?"

Sachin: "Well, I go for nice dinner and movie with people I enjoy spending some nice time. Why do I need to get into the relationship for that??"

Priya: " Sachin, You are impossible. You are never going to get a girl if you think like this !"

Of course, this conversation was in lighter vein. But I thought about it later on.

Why do we need a life partner?. There are so many options available these days. There are singles clubs, blind dating, gentlemen's clubs, and all that. With some money, you can pretty much get anything you want. Then why to go throught the whole process of finding 'the' right one?

Here are some of my thoughts on the whole thingy:

I am a big believer in love. Pure, selfless love. I am also a big supporter of having a steady partner in life, and living a life with one partner. It makes things so much easy. In today's world full of complexities, compromises, selfishness, politics and all that crap; one needs some security, some sanity, some devotion in life. And that's precisely the reason we need someone with us. Someone who would understand us, guide us, help us, give some frank advice, settle some nerves, critique us, laugh on our jokes, cry with us, and share a laugh too. And how nice it is to have someone whom we can understand, have faith in; for whom we can be there to share their happiness and sorrow.

I believe that relationship develops from love; and relationship (and for that matter love)is a mutual process, a mutual feeling, a mutual emotion: One sided love, or one sided affection has no meaning as such. You may like someone; but it is equally important to have the other person share same feelings about you. I do believe that all successful relationships are built on these pillars (All relationships are not successful. Just because a couple is married for many years, does not imply a successful relationship. Many a times, its pure adjustment; which to me is the biggest failure in life).

I firmly believe that a successful relationship is built on trust, understanding, and passion. Without these three; it becomes fragile, susceptible to failure and impotent. And these things don't come easily: it takes time to develop an understanding between two human beings; and so is the case with trust and passion.

After all we are talking about spending rest of our life with that person; who was completely unknown to us just a few days back. It takes time to know the habits, likings, circumstances and emotions of other person. It takes even more time to digest all of them, and be mentally and emotionally ready to "accept" that person in our life.

Developing trust and passion are even more difficult. I am not talking about physical attraction and sexual desires here (even though I do believe that they are integral parts of a relationship). One can be attracted to opposite sex for a while, but passion and trust are long lasting, and always developing. And they should come in exactly right proportion.

One cant really plan these things: they just happen. Love cant be planned, it just happens. So is the case with relationships. They happen. And that's the beauty of the whole thing; and I guess that's what makes our lives so much more interesting.

.....

I sometimes find our relationships (and for that matter whole life) so similar to cooking. To make something really nice, we have to be really well prepared; we need all ingredients in exact proportions, and at right time; we need to let things settle and simmer for a while; we need to trust our guts while adding spices; we need to be really patient to get the perfect blend and taste; we need to apply our soul for that; and we need passion for cooking. And if anything goes wrong, things turn sour (or bitter, or salty), and the whole effort is wasted.

Isn't it true?

A story of emotions, trust and faith....

2006-03-07T19:58:00.000-05:00

Got a shock last week when I heard about this story.... It disturbed me somewhere, even though it was nothing to do with me personally. I normally don’t get emotional.... But, this news was completely unexpected for me.... It shook me up totally. Especially because I thought I knew Andy, Bryan, and Tina very well.

It goes something like this:

Andy and Bryan (both guys) are very good friends for more than a year. Andy is kind of emotional, hard working, worthy of a commitment and innocent... someone who blindly trusts others. Bryan is still immature, believes in living life to the fullest, likes to play pranks on people, doesn't take life very seriously, and someone who you normally think twice before taking seriously. I happened to know Andy & Bryan equally well.

A few days back, Tina came into picture. Tina is stunningly beautiful, absolutely adorable, and very attractive girl; with innocent looks and deep eyes; but still not a mature woman for her age.

Andy, Bryan, and Tina became very good friends. To start with, it was all fun and nothing special.

As time passed by, Andy started spending a lot of time with Tina ... first as colleagues and then their friendship grew. They started interacting more with each other, and became very good and close friends. After a while, they started spending a lot of time together and seemed to be very comfortable with each others' company.

Slowly, Andy started liking Tina. But he was not sure if Tina has same feelings about him, as she did not talk of longer commitment at any point of time. But still Andy thought that Tina would be his best partner for life, as they shared so many things in common. Now Andy was in love with Tina. But still he wanted more time to formally open his mind. Since Andy thought Tina wasn’t involved with anyone else, he could afford to take some more time.

Meanwhile, during casual discussions, Andy declared amongst his close friends that he likes and loves Tina. Bryan was there as well. Bryan being a funny guy, took Andy's case too much and eventually everyone started teasing Andy with Tina.... Bryan played a big part in spreading the news.

Came Valentine's Day....

Andy thought that this was the best opportunity to propose Tina. He prepared himself for that.... and with a bit of hesitation, asked Tina if she likes him.

Here comes a twist in story:

Tina casually answered that she’s seeing Bryan since past 3 months, and they are planning to get serious about their relationship. And on top of that Tina said that she does not like Andy as such, and is comfortable with him only as a friend.

This was a big shock for Andy; his best friends had back-stabbed him. These were two people two people he trusted the most. Bryan and Tina purposefully played with Andy's emotions, used him and then just trashed him when he was of no more use.

After hearing this story from Andy, and another version from Tina, I was in a state of shock. All of a sudden, I felt as if I was loosing faith in love and humanity. Till this date, I am not able to understand:

1: Why did Tina not tell Andy earlier that she was dating Bryan, when she knew that Andy was interested in her ?

2: Why did Bryan play with Andy's emotions, when he knew what was happening?

3: How would Andy feel after being cheated by two of his close friends?

4: Should I trust Bryan and Tina anymore?

5: What did Bryan and Tina get after all this?

6: Does faith exist in today's world?

7: On what basis should one trust a human being?.... Are we so materialistic that we can play with anyone as we please to?

8: Can this love be true love?... What's the point in loving someone at an expense of someone else's life?

9: Do people really care about others these days?

This was very baffling for me. Especially the way Bryan and Tina turned their cold shoulders towards Andy after playing with him. Both Tina and Bryan are still good friends of mine... but I will think twice before trusting them.

...

I sincerely hope Andy gets over this soon, and starts a normal life.

This hurts... a lot.

:(.

Action... Interaction...

2006-03-06T21:54:00.000-05:00

We interact with so many people every day. And there are many who keep meeting us. They may be your friends, acquaintances, colleagues or neighbors. But our "interaction" with everyone is not same. It varies from "Hi-Hello" and animated smile to a hug or some hearty talk. Whatever it may be, but one things is sure, that we interact with each one differently. And most of the times, this level of interaction or communication is set in first couple of meetings; and it stays like that for long time.

Have you ever wondered why do we hit it off instantly with some people and never seem to click with others? Why is it that there are some people we feel as if we have known them forever, and we are able to understand them; and others we can’t seem to relate to even after years of contact? We somehow feel that there could be no conversation beyond hi-hello and may be weather.

Lets consider the second case, and think about it:

I guess this degree of interaction comes from a pre-defined expectations from a person. Meaning, every person we meet, we expect that person to behave in a particular manner. Why only meetings, whenever we write emails to people, we do expect a certain type of reply / response from them. If you know a person well, you know that you will receive a certain type of response. I have often observed this thing, and that's where it becomes even more interesting when we get a response from a relatively unknown person (say a colleague, or someone we just know "indirectly").

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re so excited about presenting an idea to someone else and the response to your idea is the least of your expectations?. Say you do a nite-out working on report, you do your best and write an excellent report defying your mediocre writing skills; and send it out to your project partner at 5 AM to meet the meeting time of 8 AM. Your project partner looks at it, his face shows that he is least impressed by it; and on top of it he says that this work is totally crap and needs to be redone from scratch?

What do you think at that point? Is it something like: “Poor kid doesn't really know what he is missing out on... he doesn't really know the meaning of hard-work and efficiency”. Or is it like: “Maybe I didn’t make myself very clear.”

When we impose our own expectations onto others, we expect a particular reaction that we think should be an appropriate one from that particular person. People respond in ways that are acceptable to us or they don’t. If they do, we feel we’ve connected. If they don’t, we think the other person either has a problem on his head, or he is mentally slow, or he has had brain damage, or something is wrong with that person. Very seldom we try to simplify our point, and restate it in simpler manner.

When we’re attentive to others, we don’t impose anything on them. We allow people whom we like to be who they are and don’t take offense at their responses. In fact, we often find ways to meet their needs and expectations. We want them to feel good; and we do that much more to make them feel good. We develop that sort of "understanding" with those "favorite" people. Most of you would agree that this understanding is at the heart of all good relationships.

One way to promote it is to provide attentiveness in ways that are noticeable and welcoming. If you want to be remembered in a positive light, give others your attention. What others crave from us is the attention, perception, and responsiveness that few others provide. IF you are the person to provide that; you would be their friend. This, I believe, is the key to strike a successful, healthy and comfortable communication. Rapport building can be a very herculean task, yet it is so interesting, much like arithmetic additions (more on this later)

So, if you see that you don't really "communicate" with someone; do make an attempt, and watch your reaction!

(PS: I got a related article from a friend couple of days back. I found it interesting, so thought of developing it. So this is not my original thought. I have just developed it.)

Seinfeld

2006-03-05T19:04:00.000-05:00

This blog is dedicated to my favorite comedy show: Seinfeld.

Some of my friends laughed at me when I told them that I am reading 'Seinfeld and Philosophy: A Book about Everything and Nothing.'

"Seinfeld and Philosophy???. Get lost. Seinfeld doesn't have any philosophy in it. You are wasting your time"

"Dude, Seinfeld is not to be taken too seriously. Watch it, laugh, enjoy, and forget. There is no need to get anything out of it"

"Do you also see FRIENDS??"

"I like South Park better than Seinfeld"

These were some of the reactions I got. I realised that for many of my friends, Seinfeld was just one of many favorite sitcoms. Even though they claimed that they were Seinfeld fanatics, they actually didnt go beyond having a good laugh. They did not relate themselves with the characters. For them it was just another sitcom. after all, its just a show about nothing.

No, that's not the way how I look at Seinfeld. For me, it is much more than "just a show about nothing".

My association with Seinfeld goes back to February 2005 (yeah, just an year back). Before that I used to hear my old friends Sunil and Vipul having a hearty laugh discussing about Seinfeld. Even though that sounded funny, I could not understand much of it; as I didnt know what Seinfeld was. And at that time, I did not have that much of spare time (Sunil and Vipul didn't have anything else to do in those days. Am I right guys?) for Seinfeld.

That time came at the start of last year. In those days, nothing much was happening in my life, it was a depressing and hopeless situation. In those days, even your better friends desert you. I didn't have much to do, and wanted something as a past time. I somehow got an access to all the Seinfeld episodes; and then there was no looking back. I have watched Seinfeld at home, hotels, airports, plane.. and it has been one exhilarating experience so far. I have seen ALL Seinfeld episodes (180 in total), and am now on repeat run :). I am not bored yet.

I like to watch it season by season. I sometimes watch one complete season in a day (20 odd episodes at a stretch, 22 minutes apiece). After couple of seasons, I unknowingly picked up some habits and dialogues of the characters.

I remember I was in India.. it was May 2005. One day my parents got into some trivial petty argument (ah, these parents!! They HAVE to argue on smallest things in this world: like what to cook for dinner, which channel should be played on TV, what should be the room temperature.. you name it !!!)... It's been 5 years since I am away from my parent now, and I was not used to all that. I was watching Seinfeld on my laptop, and even though the whole scenario was pretty funny, it was disturbing me. I took off my headphones and started in the Jerry style: "hey, hey, hey... whats going on!!... you guys have nothing else to do?? ". Then there were numerous moments in that trip when I acted in Kramer style..... It just happens. When you see same four people for so many days together, you are bound to pick up their style. But not many in India follow Seinfeld. I am sure they must have thought that I was mentally retarded or had a major brain problem, etc.

These days, my father strictly avoids any discussion whatsoever about my next India trip .

Seinfeld has given me so much. I have had some unforgettable moments with Seinfeld. Seinfeld has given me joy, laughter, a new hope to live life, and an introduction to four very interesting characters in this world: Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine. I cant help myself but I find Elaine very cute, George a big idiot, and Jerry a very simplistic common man, And I choose not to comment about Kramer. HE is special. I sometimes wish I could be like him. Would have enjoyed my life so much more. Apart from everything else, Seinfeld showed a whole new approach towards life... There is fun in being happy even without being successful. I learnt that from Kramer. I also learned to look at everything with a lighter prospective. There are so many a*s*hol**s around who would normally be very irritating and avoidable. I look at them in a Seinfeld way, and they become tolerable. Whole life becomes so tolerable when you look at in in that way.

I don't need to write about how great the show was. I can't exactly describe the feeling, but there is something in it that attracts you towards it. May be its simplicity, spontaneity, or humor... I don't know what makes Seinfeld so good. But it is good, for sure.

Anyways, now I am tempted to see one more episode. Its going to be "The Glasses".

:).

...

2006-03-03T03:02:00.000-05:00

I know I am going gung-ho off late and blogging about complexities in life. Its not all about nothing, it all about something. And they are getting more serious (and obviously boring for readers, I guess) these days...

Actually, I am in a very relaxed state of mind these days.. there is a certain feel good factor and contentment with day-to-day life; and am thinking totally differently than what I have been writing in my blogs.

...

I had thought (and sometimes still think) a lot about these small and insignificant things in life. Somehow things got too busy, and never got a time to relax, sit and write them down. Also, at times, the situation was not favorable or I was just not at peace to express myself.

I am not done yet. Have a few more of these; they are ready in my mind, just have to type my thoughts.

I like to see the blog exactly the way I thought it would be. I like each and every word precisely the way it originally came to my mind.

I want to express myself, I want to let my thoughts come out of my brain. I want to hit that avalanche of thoughts and sail through them.

It feels good to do that.

Love... Crazy Love !

2006-03-01T13:29:00.000-05:00

Take One: Place: Cleveland, Ohio.

Su is a friend of mine. Su is American. A few months back, Su was dating Eric and they were doing fine. One day, Su met Harry in a pub. They danced together, chatted, had nice time. A few days after that, I met Su in the same pub. She was there with Harry. Su told me that she is now dating Harry, and she thinks she's in love with him. She also told me that, after "that" nite with Harry, she found him very attractive, and it was too much to be away from him. I asked: "Ok Su, what about Eric? I thought you guys were going along nicely". Su told me that she was getting bored with Eric, and didn't feel that she loved him anymore. She was always looking for a better option.

Incidentally, Harry is Su's 5th boyfriend.

Take Two: Movie: Mughal-E-Azam.

Salim, the prince of Mughal empire, gets a glimpse of Anarkali, a court dancer. He falls in love with her, and she also dreams of having a life with Salim. King Akbar does not approve the relationship, and even declares Saleem a traitor and sends his armies to crush him. He tries to kill Salim and Anarkali, even manages to separate the, but he cannot kill their love. Salim and Anarkali sacrifice all their happiness, their dreams, their life for love.

Mughal-E-Azam is considered to be an epic of love, sacrifice, and pain.

Take Three: Place: Mumbai, India.

M is my college buddy. He got a decent job after completing his engineering, and got settled in life relatively earlier. Last year, his parents wanted to get him married, and he was not beyond their wish. Six months back, M got married to P. It was an arranged marriage. M and P did not know each other before that, and did not get a lot of time to spend with each other before they got married.

I asked M about how he could take such a risk in choosing a partner for life, and if he was comfortable with P. He said that P was not his best choice, but his parents wanted P. Since he had no other choice, he trusted her, and after marriage got to spend lots of time with her. Now M says that he likes P very much, and in fact loves her a lot. He, however, confessed that there were some things which could have been done in a different way.

P believes that its a part of adjustment, and everyone's got to do some compromise with life.

What is love?...

Is it just sex?, is it physical attraction?, is it a pleasure?? s it crush??

Or Is it sacrifice?? hurt?? bitterness?? dissatisfaction??

Or is it adjustment??

Intriguing question indeed.

How does one 'fall' in love?... What makes us produce those hormones that would initiate the feeling of love about a person in our mind?... Why do we like a particular person , and not any person as such?... How do we decide that "that" would be a dream love for us?

Does everyone even think that much, and that deep?... Or they fall in love just to get the experience and have a steady physical relationship?...

Why does love 'fail' sometimes?... If we love a certain person so much to start off with, where do those feelings vanish after things go sore?... How do we prepare ourselves to taking that decision?...

Is first love the truest love, and everything after that a compromise??. Someone said that love can happen only once in life. Is that true?... If so, why??...

Why is love so complex??...

Does it need to be this complex at the first place??

My views (please do not draw any conclusions about my personal life. These are my views, NOT my story):

I try to keep love as simple as possible. I hold a copyright for "Do not confuse your liking with love. You may like a person, feel attracted to him; but that doesn't necessarily mean that you love him" advice for my friends. And I follow that in my personal life a well.

For me, love is a tale of two C's:

Compatibility
Commitment.

I guess everything else follows these two.

I would find it difficult to love a person (a girl, of course, I don't have any feelings what-so-ever about brotherly love) unless I know her pretty well, and I get some kind of commitment from her. I prefer to have that comfort zone, that security in a relationship. And I also strongly believe in it being a life-long one. Would like to be steadily in love with one partner than trying out a dozen. If two people are mutually committed, I guess the trust, passion, understanding, family adjustments, career etc. fall in proper place. For me love is about commitment, loads of happiness, sharing life, and sharing bit of pain as well. I consider love as a steady feeling, a feeling that should be a part of life rather than just being a phase.

This is MY concept / theory of love.

Is it too optimistic??... Is it being too choosy??... Does it work in every case??...

Apparently not.

If my theory was always true, their would be no broken relationships, no break-ups, and no hatred. But it happens. I have seen broken relationships very closely. It hurts. I have seen people going thru a trauma. I have seen their life getting destroyed after a break-up. There is so much of bitterness, hurt, pain involved in this process?

Why do people break up?... How can they suddenly dislike a person they loved so much just a few days back??... Why do they make it so complex??. If they wanted a broken relationship, why do they fall in love at all?... Do they actually think about what the other partner may have to go thru in digesting a break-up?...

I guess we human beings like everything complex, and we ourselves make it that way. I dont know if I can find out answers to all these questions... it will drive me crazy if I try to.

May be that's why love is crazy.

Suicide.... A cowardly act or bravery ??

2006-02-26T15:22:00.000-05:00

Ok, please dont jump off your chair, and start dancing. I have absolutely no plans of committing suicide or anything like that. You don't need to be so happy. Also, please do not draw any conclusions. I am not even going into depression, etc. Nor did I have a heartbreak.

I am a regular reader of Mid-Day. Mid-Day has been my favorite local newspaper. It was fun reading it in train from Borivali to Bandra; people from Bombay would know what I mean. A few days back, there was a flash news of Kuljeet Randhawa, a small screen actress, committing suicide out of depression. She hung herself. An year back, former Miss India Nafish Joseph did a similar act. We read / hear of so many suicide cases. We spend a minute for them, and move on.

However, suicide has always aroused a great interest in my mind. I find the whole phenomenon very interesting, intriguing and very abstruse to understand. If you put yourself in the shoes of the person who commits the extreme act, you would probably have an idea of what he must have been through to take such an extreme decision. I am sure it would be a very intricate state of mind, something that one finds difficult to cope with. Some people are not brave enough to fight with it; and accept the defeat.

I was discussing the whole thing with K that day. K thought that people who commit suicide are cowards. She thought that such people do not deserve any respect or sympathy whatsoever, and its absolutely disgusting even to think of them with any esteem whatsoever. I was bit surprised to hear such a strong reaction from her. She strongly believed that suicide is a cowardly act; and I strongly disagreed with that.

I actually have a lot of respect, and a bit of sympathy towards these people. I always thought that committing suicide was a very brave act, and only a very strong and stubborn mind could think of doing something like that.

It takes lots of guts to hurt yourself physically. Try poking a needle in your finger... you probably wont dare to do that on a normal day. Try cutting yourself with a knife... you will think twice. Its not easy. It takes a very strong willpower to do anything of that sort. If this is true, then how can those people be termed as cowards??

I distinctly remember this: A few years back, I was rappelling the Duke's Nose at Khandala. Its more than a 1000 ft. vertical rock patch at an elevation of approx. 3000 ft, and the valley beneath it is literally fathomless. A small mistake there would take you 4000 ft down straightaway. After initial positioning, I was taking my own time before the moments of avalanche. I looked down, and a thought came to my mind: what if I fall down?.... I remember getting shivers and goosebumps at that moment. I could not even imagine anything like that. I realised that I was not the ones who could commit suicide. By jumping off the cliff.

...

Everyone faces difficulties in life... life is not easy. But most of us somehow overcome the trauma. Sometimes you have to face a few facts in life. Sometimes you need to be patient and let the time take care of everything. Sometimes you need to move on. I don't think ending the life is a good option though. There is more fun in facing the challenge rather than avoiding it. I guess that defines an individual and his character.

One also needs to consider others before thinking of such an extreme step. Often we have our family and parents who are dependant on us (not necessarily financially, but more emotionally), we have our career to take care of, and dreams to chase. Why should one leave everything incomplete and just walk out of the game??. I dont think its the right spirit.

Having said that, I still immensely respect the guts and mental strength of people who commit suicide. Hats off to ones who jump off from a building or hang themselves, or even for that matter ones who consume poison. What must be going through their mind in those last moments? (e.g. just after jumping, and just before hitting the ground. Or in those moments when you feel that the poison is killing you and you cant do anything. Or in those moments when you see your lungs are choking and you feel the oxygen deficiency in your blood). How do they feel?.... Do they feel relieved, or they feel bad?.

Does a human being have a last smile just before death?. I dont know.

I have to mention this story here:

There is a heavenly place in Sahyadri mountains, called Harishchandragad. I haven't seen anything more beautiful than Konkankada on Harishchandragad on a wet, misty day in peak monsoon. Its a massive concave shaped rock patch more than 2000 ft in depth. The feel of Konkankada is simply mesmerising... I probably cant describe that in words. I am sure people who have been to Harishchandragad exactly know what I am talking about.

Some people say that there was a guy who fell in love with Kokankada so much that he just jumped off it.

I dont know about anything else, but I would say he was lucky to experience the ultimate ecstasy in life. I am sure he had a last smile in those 5 seconds.

... To the Core ...

2006-02-26T02:09:00.000-05:00

I was going through some profiles on Orkut the other day, and found some of them describing themselves as "Maharashtrian to the Core" or "Maharashtrian at Heart". This claim of theirs aroused a curiosity to know more about them. I wanted to know why they claim to be "Maharashtrian to the Core". In general, I observed that they listen to a lot of Marathi music, they read Marathi books, they have seen many Marathi movies, and they like Maharashtrian cuisines. I didnt find anything special in that (in fact, many of us have same interests). However, I also observed that they had mostly Maharashtrian friends in their friend's list, their testimonials were mostly in Marathi-English, and so were the scraps (in fact, some even wrote their names in Devanagari). I directly/ indirectly knew some of them in my old days, lost touch in later period, and now Orkut was helping me to know more about their recent past.

Please do not get me wrong: I am not trying to be judgemental here. I also now that Orkut profiles does not completely illustrate a personality, in fact it's sometimes very misguiding. Also, I am not even trying to prove anything write or wrong. Even tough this was just an observation, I did observe a definite trend in these people. I somehow felt that they had a very restrictive personality, and a close-bracketed life, however they were strongly associated to Marathi world.

Next obvious step was introspection: Am I a "Maharashtrian to the Core" ??

I guess I WAS. Not anymore.

Coming from a very simple and well educated Maharashtrian family; and given the fact that I was in a Marathi medium school, and my mother is a teacher; I was introduced to Marathi literature at a very early age. Even though I was never introduced to Marathi movies or songs, I developed a liking for Marathi books when I was in school. My parents also encouraged me to follow and participate in prolific Marathi theatre (believe it or not, I have won couple of awards-n- trophies for acting at inter-school level; and I was also there on All India Radio :) ). My parents always believed in living a simple life, and were never gung-ho about dining out. My taste buds were very much tuned to typical Maharashtrian food. So in every sense, I was very much a Maharashtrian.

It all changed in my engineering days though. Our group was pretty much cosmopolitan: got very good friends who were not Maharashtrians, and I got to learn a lot in those days (especially about their traditions, food, habits, culture, etc.). After 4 years of engineering, and some very significant time in Johnson Controls, I had a few more dimensions to my personality. Couple of years at Clemson introduced a whole new world to me. I actually value Clemson more for the enthralling experience of knowing more about people, their background, their cultural diversity.. actually about everything. Also, having loads of non-Maharashtrian friends helped a lot to realise that this world is full of diversity. Like a kid, I tried to grasp everything that came my way; tried to absorb some of those things in my psyche. I was always a keen observer, and an astute learner. That helped a lot. Most of my present identity is in fact developed at Clemson. And the trend will continue at Cleveland and wherever I go after that. Life is a learning process, no matter how old or experienced you are. At this stage thouh, I dont think I am a Maharashtrian to the Core anymore.

Did I loose anything in the process??

I dont think so. Not at all. May be I lost my Maharashtrian identity, but I would like to consider it as a part of the process.

I have always believed in having multiple traits in life. I get bored of doing same thing for a long time, and also like to try out a few new ones. I, in fact like to experiment (not again !!!) a bit with my daily lifestyle, and I immensely enjoy the whole process. One is bound to change in the journey of life. Changes are inevitable, and the moment one shuns from changes, I guess the whole purpose of life becomes obsolete. I firmly believe that life is all about expanding the horizons, and enjoy the whole experience, and I will stick to them for now.

On a deathbed, I dont want to feel as if I missed experiencing something in life that I always wanted to. I would hate myself if I have that feeling at any moment of life. After all, the destination is not that significant; but the journey definitely is. And I want to enjoy every bit of it.

Vivek??.. Who's Vivek??

2006-02-24T01:42:00.000-05:00

Chizu, one of the PIs in our lab calls me Vivik. In fact, most of my lab-mates call me Vivik. I tried explaining Chizu a couple of times that I am Vivek, and not Vivik. But that didn't change anything. I can, for once, understand that people have difficulty in pronouncing my name, but Chizu even addresses me as Vivik in her emails. :).

I actually find it very funny, in fact kinda like the way she says "Vivik". And Chizu has been very very nice to me. So no problems Chizu.

But I sometimes feel that, as far as my name is concerned, I have lost my unique identity in the past couple of years, especially since coming to Cleveland. I go by any name but Vivek...people (I am talking about non-Indians, of course) call me Vivik, Vivaek, Veevek, Vivak, Viv, V,... anything... but Vivek.

Even in the desi community at Cleveland, I don't have a copyright for my name. I go by Vivek R. There is a certain Vivek Walimbe, who has got all the copyrights for the name Vivek (Vivek W is my very good friend, so I dont mind that. Poor guy also has lost the sole copyright on his name.. he now goes by Vivek W). So my last name invariably comes into the picture.

Let me make couple of things clear: I am not very possessive about my name at all. I admit that there is nothing great or special in my name, and Vivek itself is a very ordinary name. But whats so special about Vivik, and Vivaek ??... If people can pronounce Vivik, what is it so difficult in Vivek??

Also, very strangely no one has any difficulty with my last name. I also agree that Raut is also a very ordinary last name. There is no "personality" associated with Raut. I would have loved to have a last name like Khan, Kapoor, Mukherjee, or even for that matter Tendulkar, Kanetkar (actually I will settle with any Kar)... but I did not get a chance to choose my last name... so I have no option here. I am not too fond of my last name though. I guess Maharashtrians in general prefer to go by their first name, and not the last name.

I hope, one day everyone calls me by my real name... VIVEK.

Where to stop?

2006-02-22T00:29:00.000-05:00

K was my school-mate. He dropped out of school in std X. He got married, and is a father of two already. He works as an 'assistant' to a local cable operator, and shares a 1 bedroom flat with his parents.

M, another childhood friend of mine, didn't go beyond Std. XII. He got married a couple of days back, and works in an import-export company. He told me that even though he was not stable in life, his parents wanted hom to get married, and he is not beyond their wish.

Many of my mates from engineering days are in Bangalore. They got jobs in big software companies, and are doing good for themselves. They say that they are happy with their lives, and are satisfied with whatever they are doing / getting.

Most of my friends in Clemson were from Electrical Engineering- Computer Science stream. They completed their Masters, and are earning big bucks now (no, Bioengineers dont like big money). Some of them even bought new BMWs, and are living royally. They have no plans on studying any further, and are content with their jobs.

I know people who took 5 years to complete PhD, and are now doing a Post-Doc. They haven't yet started making big money, and but are still content with their work. They say that it gives them an utmost satisfaction to work in the area of their own liking, and do something that no one has even thought of.

My lab-mate Sandra is in her 6th year of PhD and has at least 1.5 years to go before she can graduate.

I have just started my PhD. It will take me at least 4 years to finish my work. I am not even in a position to think and plan my life after earning PhD. I have been asking this question to myself plenty of times in past 4 years: "Where to stop?" and "Why to stop?" and I don't have definite answers to those.

"How do people choose their ultimate career?... How do people zero down on a profession?". Thinking and making observations related to these two questions is a favorite past-time of mine.

Lets start from India, and lets start from people whom we come across in our day-to-day life. How did a bus driver decide that that was going to be his job for life?. How did a newspaper vendor end up deciding that he wants to sell papers in a small corner of a busy street?. We come across postmen, hawkers, peons, etc. What prompts them to choose THAT particular profession over others?. Its a very intriguing question.

Now lets think a bit about the higher-end (only in terms of education) people. How do they figure out the million dollar question "where to stop?".

Here are my thoughts about this thingy:

There are many factors that compel you on zeroing down on the ultimate career option. I think the first and most significant one is the "socio-economic" factor. Many a times one is financially handicapped. He is responsible for entire family, and that burdens him from pursuing their ultimate dreams. I have seen so many people who wanted to do much more than they ended up doing, either because they did not have financial back-up or they were compelled by their family background or merely peer-pressure. They succumbed to social norms, and their career was ultimately decided by others (say parents or relatives) and not by themselves. I have also seen many (especially girls) who had to abandon their pursuit for higher studies just because they wanted to "settle" in life.

For those who cross this hurdle, the next hurdle was (or could be) their ability. Not everyone is born with same intellect or acumen. As one climbs up the ladder, often one realises that they cannot go beyond a certain point. There is an upper limit for everything, and the threshold is different for different individuals. At one point they realise that there is an element of risk involved getting to the next level. One often prefers to play safe than taking risks. Its human nature.

Another factor is ambition. It is one of the strongest driving forces in pursuits of an ultimate career. Some are happy with being just one of many, other want to be just a notch above others (more on that later).

Then comes work satisfaction. For some individuals (I can definitely say that about PhD students, and even for that matter for individuals pursuing medicine. I have ample of samples around me to prove my point :) ), work satisfaction comes first. Money, family life, etc. take a back-seat for a while, because they do not want to settle for anything less than the best. Its the quest of knowledge that gives them the energy to keep going (yeah, I know many of you are feeling sorry for these maniacs. But sometimes you cant help).

The least (or the most, for some) but a very important factor is money. Lets admit that money drives everything. One cannot survive without money, and no amount is sufficient amount for being happy in life (very unfortunately, our dear God forgot to create the real-money plant. I would have developed acres of those, and spent my entire life watching Seinfeld).

And then there are others.

I often see this world as a game of Monopoly. Our life is the board, we are merely the players, our destiny the dice, then there are various places that you can live- own- build houses and hotels, etc. We keep playing this game for our entire life. We know that ultimately its something we cannot win forever, but we keep playing it just because we don't want to loose. Others come and go, some players hit big, some don't. Some show great potential but loose everything in one move. Some make calculated moves and win. Some loose.

And the game goes on...

Tied to a Rope ...

2006-02-20T01:09:00.000-05:00

I recently came across a very interesting article. It was a simple observation in day-to-day life; yet made so much sense out of it.

Read on:

Failed Once- Failed Forever!!

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. "Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away.

They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we don't believe we can do it?"

Doesn't this apply to human beings as well?. We don't do many things because we have a pre-defined mindset towards certain things, and we don't even try to break free out of it.

Do you ever have a feeling of having a limited horizon for your dreams and lifestyle, just because the way you are brought up??.

I have thought about this thingy so many times, especially after coming here. I got to meet so many new people from different parts of India, and for that matter of the world. Everyone was so different. Their thinking pattern, their ideology, their philosophy, their maturity, the way they react to a particular situation, the fear-factor... all such small things vary so much person to person, country to country...

We all are basically same human beings consisting of same flesh and blood and brain. Then why are we so different?.

Here is my short theory for it: Since all human beings are essentially same, they should be able to adapt themselves to different conditions/ cultures /diversity/ people. It sounds very simple and trivial, but its apparently not. We cant adapt ourselves overnight, and more importantly, we cant adapt ourselves to everything. There comes a threshold in life, where you are not willing to go beyond a point. You cant accept a certain things, and you choke up.

I myself did some small "experiments" on myself, tried to expose myself to different cultures, situations, and challenges. The whole purpose was to see how do I react to them, and if I am equally comfortable with all these situations. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did not. After giving a sufficiently long time for the experiment, I realised that I am different, I do have my own personality, philosophy and vision. It was not possible for me to adapt to a certain things. Some things were imbibed on to my brain, and they are going to be there forever!!!. I could not break those shackles.

I guess it's all in mind.

Those "in between" times

2006-02-20T00:39:00.000-05:00

What do you "think" in those "in-between" times?

Throughout the day, we keep doing different things; but there are some things that we do subconsciously, and we really don't need to apply our brain for them. We kinda go through motions. Our brain doesn't keep track of the things happening around us. Our brain is working, but we don't exactly remember what we were doing. What do we think during that time?. What does our brain do?

I don't have a definite answer for this one, so please drop a comment if you have one.

What do we (i.e. our brain) think when we:

1: Walk through a corridor or on a daily route
2: Take bath
3: Drive alone on an empty interstate
4: Take a pee
5: Take a dump
6: Tie our shoes
7: Stare at a computer screen
8: Attend a boring lecture or seminar
9: Get ready to sleep, just after hitting bed
10: Make a call and wait for the other person to pick it up
11: Eat
12: Wash dishes
13: Stand in a queue
14: Ogle at a girl
15: Listen to music

Any thoughts?

I would like to:

2006-02-19T00:04:00.000-05:00

Here some additions to my Wish-List. There is no time frame for trying these things out, but I would like to do them sometime in my life. And would like to try them out sooner than later. No, these are not my retirement or old-age plans. Hopefully in next four years I will see some of them coming into reality.

I would like to:

1: Have a pet: Most likely, it would be a turtle. A turtle matches my personality: its slow-n- steady, eats a lot, doesn't make too much of noise, its not irritating, doesn't need too much of attention, doesn't get noticed too easily, considered to be very intelligent and mature species, very loyal, and trustworthy.

2: Try wood carving: I want to get a big block of wood, and carve something special from it. Something like a laughing Buddha, or mount Rushmore. It would be kinda big-n-huge. I would also like to put a layer of varnish to it, and would like to keep it in my drawing room. I used to try carving a chalk (my mom is a teacher, so I had unlimited supply of chalks :) ), but never worked out the way I wanted. I have also tried a bit of carpentry. Wood is better.

3: Draw a landscape on canvas: After swimming, drawing probably comes last in my skill-set. My drawing is pathetic. even though I am a certified intermediate grade artist, my drawing sucks. But that doesn't mean that I cant do it. Somewhere within I feel that I can do it. I want to draw a nature landscape, preferably taken from one of my photos. It will have some very bright and dark colors, and most likely it would include a mountain, a tree, lots of greenery, and nature.

4: Learn a guitar or mouth organ: I would be very happy and proud to be able to play Hotel California on guitar or Piano Man with mouth organ.

5: Start a small size restaurant serving my own specialities: I always try to experiment with my food. I like to try to cook something different, unusual, and distinctive (my sincere apologies to Sunil, Deep, Naren and Tejas. I can understand why you guys have lost your appetite in past couple of years :) ). Sometimes they turn out pretty well though. My restaurant will look something like a Goan shack, and will serve 15 varieties of omelets, 15 of chicken, and 10 of red meat. Some Classic Jazz or Soft Rock will be played in background, and it will have a cozy-romantic atmosphere.

(For those who are not a part of Orkut family, here is my hiking/traveling Wish-List):

1: Go on a road trip from east coast to west coast

2: Do the 'Kailash-Mansarovar' trek in the Himalayas

3: Go on the 'Europe tour' just for photography

4: Revisit all the forts in Sahyadri, where I have been in past, and capture them in my camera.

5: Go to Kashmir, Leh and Laddakh.

6: Do the Complete Grand Canyon Hike: From South Rim to North and back.

Very much achievable, eh !!

Maintaining a public image: Is it necessary?

2006-02-18T03:06:00.000-05:00

A few days back, I was playing a game of Mafia with some friends. Its a game of logical arguments, intense discussions, and smart guesswork. After couple of rounds, the game got interesting. I tried to put forward a very logical argument about why 'C' could be a mafia. I was trying to explain my point, however, some people were not convinced about the logic. As usual, I was trying to make a point with some humor involved in it, and people thought I was being funny. At that point, 'P', a good friend of mine, said: "Shut up Vivek, no one amongst us takes you seriously !!".

That comment really took me by surprise. For first time in many years, someone actually told what people think of me. I was not sure how to react to that comment. I was kinda amused to hear that; was also disappointed as my very valid point was not being considered; but at same time, somewhere within, I was also pleased to know that I have some public image now.

Wow !!.

I have never tried to have one particular image of mine. As a kid I was very quiet, intense, subdued, and introvert. Even though I was active and forthcoming, I was anything but brat, wasted or arrogant. In engineering days, people would associate me with my laughter, and my monomania for trekking. As far as I recollect, I was always a trustworthy, modest, and happy-go-lucky person. I was part of a famous group in library, had amazing fun enjoying those 4 years, and was very content the way my life was going.

In Clemson, however, I tried not be be confined to any particular group. The reason: I wanted to experience whatever was on offer. I tried to be equally active with various student organizations, especially CISA, Surabhi, ISA and of course AID. At the same time I was there with crazy friends enjoying some barbecues, road trips, parties, playing cricket, and what not. Those were the days when I would live every day as if there was no tomorrow. Every experience was different ans vastly satisfying, and that kept encouraging me to venture new things all the time.

and now Cleveland. Here I tried experimenting with myself. (it's another story altogether). Anyways...

Is it really necessary to have a particular public image?. Or do people really have a defined public image?

Apparently many people do have one. Some are known to be street-smart, some poetic, some cultured, some talented, some wasted, some eccentric, some antagonists, some protagonists, some shallow and some deep. Some are known to be singers, some mimics, some dancers and some are know to be drunkies. When one goes to a public function / social event, one carries a specific personality with him. And he is expected to be just that. Anything else is neither accepted nor acceptable. I have often observed one thing in social events: certain individuals are 'expected' to act/ react in a particular manner. Often one would observe these personalities who would always debate about politics, some others would always start bitching about some thing or other, someone else would always sing a particular genre of songs, and someone would always start dancing the moment he enters the party. Some specific group would always discuss some specific topic (such as cricket, football, studies..) and there are a few who would just be in their own world.

Why do we have these pre-defined notions about people?. Are these people really like that in day-to-day life?... Do they reflect their real self?...

Probably not. I have known so many people who are completely different than what they show off. I have known intensely intense people being perceived as frivolous individuals. I have known extremely sensitive people being publicly recognised as rude and heartless. I have known really harmless people assumed to cause problems.

Do we ever bother to know them closely?... do we even try to understand why an individual reacts to a particular manner each time a situation arises?. We don't.

Why? (I actually don't have an answer to this one. Let me know if you have one).

In today's world it is very important to develop contacts, exchange your thoughts with others, be professional and perfect, be famous... most importantly to 'sell' ourselves. The mantra is to 'get noticed' somehow. It is very difficult to survive the fierce competition of today's world if we don't do that. Some people are quite smart and comfortable at it and some are not. And the ones who represent the second type often end up at the receiving end. Probably this is the only way life works and there is no apparent solution than self-belief and hard work.

When we go out for shopping, we often end up buying the stuff that looks good rather than what has more utility. When we go out to a fancy restaurant, we tend to order a dish that looks good. When we try to find a partner in life, we first shortlist ones who look picture perfect and gorgeous. Don't we?

Dear God, You Are NOT an Engineer.

2006-02-17T18:58:00.000-05:00

Being a Biomedical Engineer, I often end up reading about human anatomy and physiology. Most often than not, I study the cellular level signalling and also tissue level functionality. Each time I read that stuff, I wonder how can everything be so perfectly organized. Even if you go to the cellular or molecular level, each particle has its own function and each action has a specific role to play. Each time I learn something new, I am flabbergasted to experience the mystery of human evolution.

I don't know who invented the human body. (While some people say it's God who created the world; I believe it was science. I am more inclined to link the human evolution to the probability theory and thermodynamics). However, lets for the moment believe that God made everything.

In that case, God is great. It must have taken immense amount of planning, knowledge, thinking, application, precision, accuracy to come up with something as complex as a human being. Being a PhD student (nothing can be more complex than a PhD student, by the way!) I often wonder what educational background did our dear God have?. Umm... probably medicine, or architecture, or biochemistry, or cell biology.... there are various possibilities; but I am damned sure that God was not an Engineer.

Reason?

Even the dumbest of engineer would make sure that he gets some quantitative output at each stage of a process. In engineering, we are taught to see to it that we get the output at every possible data processing point. Whether your algorithm is right or wrong, you need an output. It's as simple as that. Take an example of any programming language: first thing we learn is how to print the output. Everything else comes later. Any engineer would agree with me about the fact that first and minimum requirement of any engineering development is an output.

But strangely, our body has no quantitative output !!. How unfortunate and unthoughtful was that !!.

Imagine if some engineer was to make the human body... He would make sure that we have outputs at every point. Just imagine:

If you are not feeling well, there will be a digital display on your hand showing "how much" you don't feel well. So if the value is within a normal range (what can be the unit of "wellness"??), you can still go to work. Otherwise, you have to take the day off. Our mood swings would be quantified as "negative 4 percent as compared to normal" or "positive 6 % as compared to normal". It would be so much easier for other to judge your mood: just look at the display on the forehead, and know if your date is in romantic mood or not!!

Thinking of that, I let my imaginative powers take control of my brain.

I could have seen a barometer on my stomach, to indicate how full or empty it was. There would have been a pH meter coming out of my intestines to see if I had acidity. I could have had a speedometer as well as an oxygen sensor on my back showing the activity of my lungs. Oh and my brain would have been full of displays: showing what was going on. Every particle of light captured in my eyes could be printed on a photo-quality paper and I could get got exact print of what I just saw. Wow!!

How helpful would that have been !!

Dear God, you made such a complex world. Couldn't you add a simple display system for us??.. So silly !!.

A Perfect Sunday Afternoon

2006-02-17T18:54:00.000-05:00

I have to tell you this:

(The phrase "I have to tell you this" is copyrighted by Aditi Herwadkar of Cleveland, Ohio. Every time "I have to tell you this" comes from Aditi, we know that some interesting story is coming up. Since last Sunday Afternoon was Aditi's plan; this had to start with "I have to tell you this". And it started just like that... Anyways...)

Last Sunday, Aditi felt like putting up chef's hat, and making her trademark Goan / Saraswat shrimp curry with white rice. She wanted some company to enjoy this delicacy, and since there are very few 'fish fanatics' (I am one of them. For me, fresh fish comes first, then chicken, then lamb, etc.), we were invited.

I woke up at noon, and it was snowing heavily at that time. It somehow felt very nice to see some fresh crispy snow after so many days. I had a voicemail from Meghna, asking me to be ready by 1.00 pm. Gautam and Amita were to join us at Aditi's place.

I made some Irish creme flavored coffee for myself, and stepped out in the balcony to enjoy some snow. It was not so cold, but was windy, and somehow felt very nice. I was simultaneously planning my day as well; it was supposed to be just an afternoon lunch at Aditi's place. So potentially the day was open for me.

Anyways, we all reached Aditi's place at 1.30 pm. I could smell coconut curry as soon as I entered the apartment. Food was ready, and without further delay, we latched on food. The menu was simple: coconut-shrimp curry (made with coconut milk, green chili, salt, shrimp. No red chili or tomato etc), mussels with green chutney / coconut stuffing, and white rice. We had some nice wine to go with that. ( It was Blue Marlin- Shiraz; one of my favourite ones). And we had some deliciously royal Baklawa as dessert.

Food was simply Divine. We kept eating till food was over. Of course, the topic of discussion was fish and food. Hot white rice, and some very well made fish curry is worth more than a million dollars. I probably wont be able explain my feelings here. Only true fish lovers will know it. But I had very satisfied expression on my face all the while.

After the hearty lunch, we were all set to go in the "hibernate" mode, but Dr. Gautam Shetty proposed a visit to Cleveland Botanical Garden. Unfortunately for us, and fortunately for him, Gautam is about to leave Cleveland to pursue a more lucrative career after spending 5.5 years here. He had never been to this place, it was on his to do list. It was a tempting offer, and even though it was cold outside, we decided to do it.

Cleveland Botanical Garden features a Glasshouse, which is a world in itself; a world of beauty and wonder. Its a crystal-peaked conservatory that beckons visitors to explore two of the world's most fragile and fascinating ecosystems: featuring the flora and fauna of two diverse and contrasting environments: the spiny desert of Madagascar and the cloud forest of Costa Rica. It features more than 350 exotic plants and more than 50 butterflies, insects, birds and other animals.

Both houses have been excellently maintained and give a perfect experience of a hot, humid tropical weather. One could see all the hard work that was put to made somethings as wonderful as that. It perfectly felt like a humid monsoon day in a jungle somewhere in Sahyadri, with that particular aroma filling up the space, all kinds of creatures showing the richness of nature, and some very specific tropical things that one doesn't get in the US. What mesmerised me was the fact that it was all snow and cold outside; and perfectly sunny and warm inside.

It was a very special experience to be at the glasshouse. It was beautiful, and yet quiet. I am actually planning to go there for studying once summer starts. It somehow feels nice to be there, may be because I am used to hot and humid India.

I will remember this Sunday Afternoon for Aditi's shrimp curry, and the world of Madagascar and Costa Rica.

Don't go, Sachin.. Keep playing.

2006-02-13T21:51:00.000-05:00

After India's defeat in the recent Karachi test, there were reports from India about people demonstrating against Sachin Tendulkar, and few even demanding to throw him out of the team. There has been a nationwide debate about Sachin's form, with many claiming that Sachin is finished, and its the beginning of his end. It happened for first time in past 16 years, that people wanted Sachin to stay out of the team... They wanted him to retire. Sachin never received such a treatment any time in the past.

I was agape and confused after reading these reports. Somehow my mind was not yet ready to accept Indian cricket without Sachin. I cant imagine someone else coming out for batting at no. 4 in tests. I cant imagine someone else killing the bowlers in one dayers. I cant imagine not listening to Sachin's voice once in a while. I cant imagine Sachin being thrown out of Indian team.

No way, not even in my wildest dreams.

Sachin is God. How can someone throw him out of the team?. I dont think anyone is good enough to fill-in his place in Indian team. And above all, I don't think Sachin is over. Sachin WILL bounce back to his best once more, and will bid adieu to cricket on his own terms. He has to. He's not a normal cricketer, he's special; in more than one ways, he's exceptionally gifted than mere mortals. He simply cannot go wrong in scripting his own destiny.

Sachin is probably the most complete batsman that we have seen till date. Yes, he may not be the best (Lara is more graceful than Sachin, Steve Waugh and Rahul Dravid are more reliable than him, Viv Richards was more aggressive, the list goes on...), but he is certainly the most complete batsman. No one else can match the array of strokes he possesses: his shots are as perfect as one can play. His hunger for runs, passion for the game, concentration, and dedication towards a team and nation is unparalleled.

Sachin survived all the transitions, storms, and controversies in past 15 years. Note this: he was never ever suspected in any of the scandals; be it off the field or on. No on has ever been able to find out any technical flaw in his cricket. There hasn't been a single instance on field in past 15 years when it appeared that things were out of his control. Noone ever wrote or said about 'how' Sachin went wrong in his game. He has been master of his domain all the while. He is probably the only bowler in contemporary cricket, who can bowl all kinds of deliveries. I am sure that if he tries, he will even bowl left-arm chinaman, and will get a wicket too.

Off the field, he is probably the best example of a public personality. He's down to earth, absolutely well-mannered, never shows his emotions and anger in public, and sets a very good example for the ones who look up to him. He's a perfect father, a good husband, and even better businessman. He has hardly done anything wrong in his life.

Its not easy to reach perfection of this precision.

Imagine how thoughtful and imaginative he must have been to carefully plan his career and write his own destiny. Coming from a middle class family, it would have been very easy for him to go crazy with all the money he was getting, and the kind of talent he has. But he didnt. He made sure that he's always on top of everyone. It needs a great brain, and that too a very level headed one.

Sachin has been a role model for me since past many years. I have taken some very valuable notes for myself from him- and the process continues till date. Whenever I am in doubt or am unsure of something in life... I think of how Sachin would react to such a challenge. So far Sachin hasn't let me down. I still look up to him to learn a thing or two.

I want Sachin to play at his best yet again. Just to prove that he can do whatever he pleases to, just to prove that he is still a genius. Just to give us immense pleasure of enjoyng a game called cricket. I remember the world cup 2003 India-Pakistan game: there were about 50 guys n girls in a small room watching Shoeb Akhtar running in like a horse, and Sachin facing him for first time.... Sachin hit the first ball his over point and into the stands... and there was an eruption in that small room. Those couple of minutes were the most thrilling moments of my life so far. I remember how I could not sleep after watching Sachin's heroics on that sand-storm nite in Sharjah. I remember Shane Warne's comments on Tendulkar after that innings: "These days I get nightmares of Sachin hitting six off my bowling".

I would hate to think Sachin as a failure, I would hate to see him being anything less than perfect.

I would hate to see cricket without Sachin... I am not used to it.

Don't go , Sachin... keep playing. We are there for you!

PJs

2006-02-12T20:04:00.000-05:00

I have been writing PJs these days!!... I know most of you got a shock of lifetime reading this. I know, I know, my sense of humour sucks.

Well, it all started on DesiCase, an Orkut community that Sruthi started for the junta at Case. There are not too many Indians at Case (may be 50 or 60 or so), so most of us know each other; and it was definitely fun to know their 'other' side on Orkut.

Soon, Gautam, Prasanna, Sruthi, Prachi and Siva started a forum called "DesiCase Jokes", and we had some nice Pjs on it soon. Not all were original, but they were different, as they tried to add a local flavour to them. Many others joined in, and soon it was a very active and entertaining forum.

I was too tempted to try one myself, couldn't hold myself back. And I enjoyed the whole process: thinking about a PJ, then thinking of people who would fit in it, then developing a small story around a one line PJ, and trying to make it humorous. Not all the Pjs were original, but some of them were, and the story and screenplay is definitely original. Believe it or not, there were days when I would actually think of a situation, and try to cultivate a nice story.

I know that my sense of humor sucks, and I am not a guy who would come up with instant Pjs., It takes me bit longer to think out of the block. However, Its been a very entertaining experience so far. Good thing is that everyone takes it in that vein, and often we end up developing the story. I always look forward to new entries whenever I log on to Orkut.

Here are some from my side:

1: BhandareJi counting 10...

Let me add a bit to the story:

(As far as the story goes, the plot is: BhandareJi and Siva are fellow students of Ms. Sruthi. BhandarJi is totally confused with counting, whereas SivaBhai is a Master of counting {he once even counted # of posts on the DesiCase jokes thread}).

So as usual, BhandareJi had a problem with counting 10. Ms. Sruthi taught SivaBhai how to count 10 by using fingers. So, when BhandareJi came to Ms. Sruthi to seek help in counting 10, Ms. Sruthi sent him to SivaBhai, who showed him how to count 10 using fingers (in case you dont know how to count 10 using your fingers: 1 means 1 finger up, 2 means 2 fingers up.... for 6, go to the other palm/ hand, etc etc).

BhandareJi tried it himself and was fully convinced with that.

A few years later, BhandareJi joins army. He was taking training of using hand-bomb. The instructor told them that the bomb would explode after the count of 10.

BhandareJi remembered his count of 10 taught by SivaBhai. BhandareJi had the bomb in one hand, and started counting...1,2,3,4,5...

When it came to 6, he needed another hand to count. Since he was in standing position, he put the bomb between the thighs. And resumed counting 6,7,8, 9, 10...

Well, rest is history...

2: BhandareJi in school

How do you recognize a BhandareJi in Case Primary School?

BhandareJi is the one who erases the notes from the notebook when Ms. Sruthi teacher erases the blackboard.

3: Siva and Eggplant

Siva, being a strict vegetarian, did not touch the eggplant pizza ever since he came to USA, as he always thought that there would be an egg in it.

On day, Vivek- Siva's best friend, saw that, and convinced him that eggplant does not have egg and its pretty tasty.

So Siva tries eggplant pizza at Guy's pizza on Coventry one day, and likes it. Next day he tries eggplant Parmesan at Tommy's-Coventry, and likes it. Third day, he tries eggplant sandwich at Dave's- Coventry, and loves it.

Siva, still being a graduate student (his OPT is yet to arrive, so he hasn't joined Bloomberg yet), is out of money to buy any more eggplant dishes.

So he goes to Apt 617, Fairhill Towers (voted as the most high-tech apt of Cleveland {HTAC}) and borrows 10 eggs from Vivek and Tejas.

A month later, Siva returns to HTAC for 10 more eggs. Again, a month later he comes back to HTAC for 10 more eggs (still no OPT, Siva is getting poorer).

Finally Vivek asks him whats the matter. Siva says: "I am trying my best to plant the eggplant using the eggs I got from you, but no luck yet. But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' says Siva, 'I think I'm planting them too deep and giving it too much water, and may be too less sunshine, and ......'

Vivek faints.

4: HTAC and battery

Since Siva was responsible for having HTAC in a messed up state, and since HTAC is a Cleveland heritage, Siva took it upon himself to clean the apartment.

He called Prasana, Ghauthamh, and Moiz for help. Calling Sruthi and Meghna was of no use, as girls never do any hard work.

Since there was no detergent at home, Siva requested Janki to get some of it. Janki started driving his car to Giant Eagle, but his battery failed soon.

Since he had Geico, he called roadside assistance. Surprisingly, the mechanic was desi. His name was Aditya Ranade.

Janki: "RanadeBhai, battery change karma hai"

Ranade: "EXIDE (in ghaati accent, Ek Side)- lagaa du?"

Janki: Kyon, doosraa side tera baap lagaayegaa?

Ranade took his mobile and tried to call India... #%%^%$^%$^

5: Siva and DeviPrasadh

I overheard this conversation in yesterday's party:

Siva: Maccha, how do you spell "Philadelphia"?

Prasadh: "F-I-L-A-D-E-L-F-I--A"

Siva: No, that's wrong

Prasadh: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

6: Orange Juice

So I came late for the party. Since I was hungry, I went to the kitchen to grab some food. I saw Sruthi statued near the fridge.

I waited for a bit, but Sruthi was very seriously looking in the fridge. So I had a closer look at what she was upto.

So I asked: "Sruthi, what are you staring at?"

Sruthi: "Its a bottle of Orange Juice".

She didnt even blink. As usual, her face was very serious and confused.

Vivek: "So, why are you starting at an orange juice container?"

Sruthi: "Because it says 100 % CONCENTRATE"

7: Bday gift to Siva

I overheard this a few mins. back.

Prasanna: Hey Siva, Happy B'day. (grabs a big chunk of cake, and also reluctantly gives Siva a gift)

Siva: Thanks (kinda irritated seeing Prasanna eating the cake as pig (or tiger??) )

Prasanna: (not happy with that look) BTW, how do you know that its your Bday??. Do you still remember it?

Siva: My mother told me. So I asked father, and he also told me same day. So I asked my grandfather, grandma, uncle.. and they all came up with same day. So I thought, its a high degree of coincidence that all of them have come up with same answer. So I had no choice but to believe them. How do you know that you actually landed on earth on 24th Nov??

Prasanna takes his gift back and walks out

:).

8: Detective N. Moiz

Good to see DesiJokes entering the 4th hundred. Here is another one:

Our most beloved friend N. Moiz decided to start a detective agency in Cleveland, Ohio. Given the crime rate in Cleveland, his business had some prospects. Even fellow-detective T. siva decided to join hands with N. Moiz, leaving behind his Bloomberg job, Lexus and even Suneeta.

However, as soon as detective N. Moiz announced the company, he placed a big order of Red Color ka Asian Paint (yeah, Meghna wala red). Sruthi teacher was quite amazed to hear that. Unable to hide her feelings, she went to detective N. Moiz, and asked him:

Sruthi: Detective N. Moiz, why this?.. Do you know what you are doing??

N. Moiz (chewing pineapple) ( Moiz doesn't like carrots, and he also wants to be original): Yes Sruthi, I know what I am doing. I want lots of red color, as I want to catch everyone "red" handed.!!!

9: contd..

At this point, detective T. Siva and detective N. Moiz had a split...

The reason:

Detective N. Moiz, being 7 ft tall, had lots of problems in getting DOWN TO EARTH. In spite of trying his best he could only go DOWN TO HIS KNEES. So detective T. Siva started operating from basement and detective N. Moiz started working in same office.

But one day it all changed. One day, detective N. Moiz came running to detective T. Siva's office, with his 2 India suitcases and what not, as if he's going to spend rest of his life in basement. Detective T. Siva asked detective N. Moiz about the urgency.

Detective N. Moiz said " I have got a new project, where I am supposed to be UNDER-GROUND. So I am here !!!"

10: Bombay girl

So the question was:

What are 4 stages in a life of a Bombay girl??

Ans:

dhamaal

maal

kamaal

hamaal (saari duniya ka boj uthati hai)

11: Vivek W and Vivek R

After waiting for so many years, Vivek W finally bought his dream car, an Audi V 6.

He was thrilled, excited, and on top of the world driving his V6 to Fairhill Towers.

He asked his best friend, the most trustworthy man in NorthEast Ohio, and a car guru, Vivek R to come down and have a look at his car.

Vivek R had a look at the car.

And then Vivek R told Vivek W :"Dude your car looks amazing. It has everything that one can dream of. You have been very thoughtful in your choice".

Vivek W told Vivek R: "Yeah dude, it has everything that should be there in a car. Bose speakers, 3 CD music system, GPRS, a mini screen for movies.. everything!!"

Vivek R asked Vivek W: "But why does it NOT have air conditioning??"

Vivek W said: "I dont need AC in my car. Dude, Its a COOL car."

;)

There are many others and better ones from other people, but I would like to put a few PJs by our PJ guru, Dr. Gautam (hope Gautam doesnt mind this. If you are reading this Dr. G, the copyright is still yours). He even made couple of them right in font of us. And that IS some skill.

12: Return of detectives T. Siva and N. Mois

So these detectives solved a tough case. The university decided to felicitate them on their great achievement. Since both of them had contributed equally towards the solution of this 'Case of missing donuts', both of them were to be felicitated in the Strosacker auditorium.

On the day of the ceremony, N. Mois walked in T. Siva's room. T. Siva was getting ready. He put on a nice suit (same one he had put on for his Bloomberg interview), and he put some limes in the pocket. N. Mois was puzzled to see this. Being a very inquisitive person, he asked T. Siva, " Why are you putting limes in your pocket?"

T. Siva said, " The organiser of the felicitation function called me and said that you and me, both of us will share the limelight in today's function. I am taking some extra limes so that there will be enough limelight for both of us!"

N. Mois started rolling on the floor!!!

13: Contd.

N. Moiz and T. Siva solved their first case successfully (someone had stolen Meghna's Einstein Bro. bagel while she had run down to say hi to someone in ISS office, N. and T. found out who that was! After solving the case, N. Moiz said "Elementary, T. Siva" exactly in Sherlock Holmes style, to bring a little novelty he replaced Holmes' tobacco pipe with plastic pipe).

After their success, T. Siva insisted that they move their detective agency office to the basement. N. Moiz was puzzled. T. Siva was very adamant on doing that. Finally N. Moiz asked him, "Why? Why do you want to move to basement suddenly?"

T. Siva replied, " 'Cos even after any success, one should always stay DOWN TO EARTH!"

14: Siva joins Bloomberg!

So Siva defended his MS and was all set to move to NY to join Bloomberg. He decided that he'll drive to NY, so he rented a SUV that could fit all his stuff. Prasadh, being a thick (not literally) friend of Siva, was helping him in packing etc. The day of his moving came. Siva and Prasadh loaded all the bags in the car.

Prasadh asked Siva, "Macha, did you take directions to your new apartment?"

Siva replied, "No, I am fine."

Prasadh asked, "What do you mean you are fine? Won't you need to know the route?"

Siva coolly said, "No raa, I don't need all that. I'll reach there without any trouble."

Prasadh was confused, "What are you saying? Why wouldn't you need to know your route?"

Siva smiled and said, pointing at his rental car, "Look, I've rented a Nissan Pathfinder. It will find its own path, why do I need to know it?"

Prasadh fell at Siva's feet!

15: Another one at the party

Prachi and Sruthi had already had 3 rounds of eating, and are pretty full.

Prachi: Sruthi, I am really stuffed, but I can have a dessert. Do you want to go for one last course?

Sruthi: Course? Sorry Prachi, I am already done with my course-work, I won't take any more courses...

Prachi starts singing 'kajra re' in 'aati kya khandala' tune...

16: Vivek and Tejas

Another conversation overheard...

Tejas: Aditya sings so well, I want to learn singing too, Vivek.

Vivek: (gulp- takes another sip of his beer)

Tejas: But I don't learn things so quickly, I take time to learn anything new...

Vivek: (another big sip) Hmm...I used to be same, but not anymore, no problems in learning anything new now...

Tejas: why? what happened?

Vivek: (Empties the can) 'Cos now I work in the learner research institute at Case!

17: continued...

One day, prasanna explained to bhandare that he meant 10 hr 11 min, and bhandare got confused 'cos 10 and 11 are successive no.s.
Bhandare decided to pull the same prank on someone else. Two hours later he met Siva. Siva asked him the time. Bhandare said, "Its twelve-thirteen". Siva said, "fine, thanks." Bhandare got confused b'cos Siva did not get confused! He repeated 2-3 times, "its twelve-thirteen". Siva said thanks each time. Finally Bhandare got mad and shouted at Siva," Oye, aren't u confused if time is 12 o'clock or 13 o'clock? Why aren't u giving me confused looks?"

Siva just ran away!!

18: Wake up everyone!

Level 0.1 joke...

Why does Meghna prefer a basement apartment?

'Cos she is doing PhD, and PhD requires a study of a subject IN DEPTH!

There are many more, which you can read on the community forum.

And Siva's PJs need a separate blog for themselves. More on that in coming days...

Friends and Friendships

2006-02-12T18:38:00.000-05:00

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend that day. This friends of mine... ( I don't think is it necessary or relevant to reveal her identity here, lets call her P )... has been one of my closest friends since past 3 years. She knows me pretty well (and I can say same about her), and we often have healthy discussions about various things.

P: " You don't call me often these days"

I: "So?"

P: "And you don't call your other old friends either"

I: "So?"

P: "You will loose your friends and dear ones if you don't call them once in a while"

I: "I don't think so. For me, a friend is always a friend, and I will always care for my friends. I don't need to call them every week to prove that they are still my buddies".

P: "Yes, but you have to show that you care for them. You need to make an effort to know if they are doing alright, whats new in their life, etc."

I: "I don't think so. What makes you think that I will loose my friends if I don't get in touch with them regularly?"

P: "That's how the world works. If you don't get in touch with people, they feel that you don't care about them anymore"

I: "Whatever!!. I anyways don't follow the rules that the world sets for people."

And we agreed to disagree at this point.

But this conversation made me think about my friends, and the concept of friendship in general.

First of all, I don't think one needs to catch up on friends every now and then just to prove that the friendship still exists. I don't think it works for me: firstly because I don't think friendship works that way, and secondly, its not possible to be in touch with all old friends. And I am not very talkative person as such, who would go on and on in an animated conversation.

We all make friends all the time, at different stages of life, at different places, and for different reasons. We have nice time with them, have loads of fun, and then things move on. Often it is not possible to maintain the same level of interaction-communication-understanding with your old pals, because you relocate, your interests change, you meet new people, your priorities change... whatever may be the reason, but you cant maintain same level of 'closeness' with same set of people all the time. It cant survive every transition of life.

I had school and colony friends with whom I spent good 10 years; then I had new friends in VESIT and we rocked for 4 years; then a few more friends when I was working in Johnson Controls; then lots of new friends from Clemson days; and now a gang in Cleveland. Very unfortunately, I was the lone traveler thru this journey (I really feel I am a bit unlucky in this matter. I always had to start from scratch. Everywhere I went, I didn't know anyone, had no group to start off, its a painful process every time you are left on a lonely island) . There was not a single friend of mine who was with me thru these 'phases' of my life.

It is not possible to be in touch with everyone you've met in past on a regular basis. If I were to do that, I would be spending my weekend on phone catching up with people, which I dont think is the nicest idea. Besides, there are so many other ways to keep yourself updated with your old pals: there is Orkut, there are Yahoo-groups, and there is Gmail.

Yes, I have been bit lazy and laid-back when it comes to calling people- even my close friends and ones who will always be my special dear ones (partly, the blame goes to my Grand Canyon and Death Valley trip as well. My mobile was switched off for almost 2 weeks during that trip, I was completely detached from my routine world, and it felt so nice at that moment. I was so peaceful and content with being away from hustle-bustle... never felt like using my mobile ever since I returned from that trip. Most of the time, its either switched off, or is in silent mode. anyways...), but I am in touch with them thru Orkut, and emails. I occasionally read their blogs, send an email or so... Is there still a need to do anything more than that??

I really cling on my friends and cherish their friendship. I guess most of my friends who know me well know that. I hope they know that they will always be my friends and dear ones.

But one cant get everything in life. I sometimes feel helplessly morbid to digest the fact that I am no more in touch with same people with whom I have spent almost every day together for 10 years. We were in same class; we used to play cricket together; we used to spend our summer vacations playing cards, carrom, hide-n-sick; we live a block away from each other... but I don't know anymore what those people are up to. I cant help it... things changed after school... our interests changed; our friend-circle changed; our hobbies changed; our philosophy changed. It part of life. Change is inevitable. And not everyone survives thru changes. Its the fact of life.

I am not in touch with some of my engineering friends... we had a very good hiking group in my VESIT days, and we have done zillions of hikes, and rock climbing, and rappelling together.. .have spend some unforgettable moments; have experienced the sheer beauty and mystery of nature... There were so many instances where it was impossible to climb a peak without help of, and absolute confidence in these friends...

Almost same thing is happening with my Clemson buddies... work-load, career, personal life, stress, circumstances, ego.. whatever may be the reason, but I am not able to catch up with them as often as I would like to. I thought I knew a few people pretty well in those days. Some others had very interesting personalities, and it was very tempting to know more about them... But as days passed by, it was not possible.

But that doesn't mean that I don't care about them. Friends are friends... how can the friendship change?... At least for me, my friends will always be my friends, no matter what !!. If we happen to meet one fine day, I am sure we will have nice time catching up, and everything will be same as usual.

Someone has rightly put it in these words: "True friends are ones who survive the transitions in life". I would add a few words to it, and say that "True friends are ones who understand the meaning of friendship, and friends".

So P, got the point?

Beyond Positive Thinking

2006-02-12T01:18:00.000-05:00

I was looking for something nice to read, something that would make my brain cells active and pumping again... So Googled a bit for some 'self-analysis' type books, and came across a nice title "Beyond Positive Thinking". It sounded interesting enough, and I was eager to read that book after getting it thru OhioLink.

Well, to start off, its a crappy book. Most of you won't probably even read it beyond the first few pages. For a book with such an interesting title, I expected it to be something logical, interesting, factual, and thought provoking. (another book that I am reading, called 'Three Boxes of Life, And How To Get Out Of Them' by richard Bolle, is a very interesting book though). On the controrary, it felt as if I was watching the "Miracle Network" channel, one we used to get through the cable TV network in India, where a guy would go on and on preaching about Jesus. The author, John Baughman is actually a spiritual healer (which I learnt once half through the book already) and it didnt surprise me at all.

However, the book was thought provoking for sure. It said simple things in simple words. The book says that everything you do in life should be thought of with a neutral perspective. At every point in life, you should have a clear vision of a task, and you should perform it the way Jesus would like it performed. It is your duty to put yourself in a position to know what Jesus wants you to do and you should prepare yourself to complete that specific task. It's got nothing to do with your skills as you are just performing your duty. If you follow this, you can achieve anything in life. In other words, you are the messenger of the God, and you just have to do your duties.

Well, I didnt agree to the "Jesus" part of the arguement. I am an atheist. Mr. Baughman claims that he has healed cancers and tumors with his 'therapy'. I don't agree to this claim either. I firmly believe in science, and science does not believe in God. Its simple. (More on that later).

But his idea of thinking as a third person made me think a lot. And I tried to implement that a couple of times, and it worked for me!!

Very often, we are not able to complete a task with perfection, somehow it doesn't happen. We sometimes don't know HOW to deal with the situation, either getting confused or misguided or helpless. We come at a point where we don't know how to tackle the situation, and we falter. Many a times, it happens because we involve ourselves too much in that situation, either trying to get something out of everything we do or trying to make it too perfect. In either case, we are well below our best.

The concept of cultivating yourself as a third person is pretty interesting, and it makes your life so easy. At every point, you simply have to do only three things: 1: See WHAT is to be done , 2: know HOW it is to be done. and 3: DO it. Your job ends here. You are not emotionally attached to anything you do, and hence there is no scope of you thinking negatively in this case. Potentially, this can be applied to anything in life, and that means that you can do anything is life, IF you know your steps 1, 2, and 3.

It actually becomes a very analytical situation. Every task you perform every day, has to have some cause. Every decision you take in your life, has to have a reason. Every day you live, has to have a purpose. What is this cause, this reason, this purpose... we don't know about it... but we don't need to know about it either. We just have to do it.

In short, be a clerk, or a typist. Do your job, don't think much about it.

For once, I found it pretty interesting.

This thing reminds me of one fact that I read somewhere long back. If you put a newborn baby in a bath tub, he will start swimming because he doesn't have the fear of drowning as he doesn't know how to think negatively. Its an interesting enough fact, and there is lots to be learnt from it.

I would like to see my own kid doing it one day, provided:

3: my wife permits me to do this
2: I have my own kid
1: I get a girl who's willing to marry me.
0: I get a girl

Season Two ...3..2..1..0...

2006-02-07T00:55:00.000-05:00

I am blogging after 5 months and 7 days.

Yeah, Its been a while...

I was too occupied with a few things in past 6 months.

This year has been a bit better so far, so I am back.

In a way, it was a good break from blogging. If you read my first few blogs, you would have noticed that there was no particular theme to them. In true sense, they were "random thoughts". Off late, they merely became my travel blogs.

I never made an attempt to open up, never wrote anything about my feelings, thoughts or philosophy. The reason: I was a bit apprehensive to open up like that. I was not sure if this was a right forum for it, and also thought that one may get a different impression about myself if he/ she comes across the blog.

But then I realised that people hardly know the real Vivek (not that I know it myself completely either)... Since past few years, I have been consciously trying to experiment with myself, and my life. Even though it has been a truly amazing experience to be exposed to different lifestyles and personalities, I thought there is now a need for expressing myself, the real self, before it gets dumped.

There are very few people who know me well, and know me completely.

:).

Dont take it personally, but if you know me only since past couple of years, it is more likely that you have come across only one dimension of me, or may be couple. My real self was hidden somewhere else.

It was a conscious decision to mask my true self. First of all, there was no need for everyone to know what kind of person I am, and secondly I wanted to see how I react if put in a totally unfamiliar scenario.
OK, enough of that.

I am planning to blog regularly this semester, and would be writing more about myself, my experiences in past, my views on politics, cricket, my country, my friends, and things like that.

I would also be scrapping about few things that come to my mind... like relationships, friendship, commitment, compromises, etc.

So, season 2 starts...

Stay tuned.

Vivek writes an article...

2005-08-29T11:42:00.000-04:00

Writing my thesis was easy... because I exactly knew how I wanted it to be. I had my thesis written in my mind before I typed my first page.

Writing my Langmuir paper was also easy... as I knew what my advisor wants from me. I had my thesis as a guideline, and a very strict advisor to edit my work.

Writing my PhD SOP was a bit difficult... because there were so many things to be written and main task was to fit everything in a page and half.

But writing a 2-page article from a thin- one line idea was something I never imagined I could do. I know my worth when it comes to doing something like that. I surprised myself when I agreed to write an article for the bi-annual newsletter of LRI-GSEC (Lerner Research Institute- Graduate Students' Education Committee). In one of the meetings, someone suggested that I should compile an article related to the experiences of a first year student at LRI. And believe it or not, I did it.

Here's what I wrote. Read on:

My Entry to the Crystal Maze

1: First day at LRI:

I enter Lerner Research Institute for a departmental tour, and one of the graduate students walks us around the LRI building. That girl seems to be the happiest person in the world, and when asked about her experience at LRI, she sounds like there is nothing else in this world that can be more pleasurable than LRI. I trust her for that.

My first thoughts: "Wow.... this place looks cool!!" I mean, coming from an academic research environment, LRI is like coming from a filthy bachelor efficiency room to Buckingham palace. "Ummm... this place seems to have a lot of money; the infrastructure is indeed excellent... And I will get free coffee as well, and free stationary... and free parking, TGIFs, picnics, parties, tickets to cedar point…Yup baby! This is the place to spend my next 5 years".

2: Honeymoon time:

First few days at LRI are really cool. The departmental staff seems to be very cordial, and gets most of the paperwork done in first 30 minutes. But still, I wait at the main entrance every day for first week or so for someone else to come, look suspiciously at me, and then let me in. The reason: It takes about a week to get my badge activated.

After a few days, my boss goes for a 2-week conference in Europe.... Since I am a newbie and am yet to begin my experiments, my daily schedule is somewhat like this: come to lab in the morning, pretend to read books and understand new concepts, read papers and ask a few questions to seniors, go to library and print papers, go to food courts. And have food, then go to library to take a nap, come back to my lab at 4.30, say bye to everyone, go home, play tennis. I never have had such a good 2-week holiday in my life.

3: First bombshell:

For first few days, my daily attire is jeans and a t-shirt. After all, I am still a student. One day, I come across a gentleman. I don’t know who he is (I later on discover, happens to be the administrative-in-charge). I say customary hello and exchange pleasantries etc. He doesn’t seem to be too pleased with me. I wonder what’s wrong... is it my face, or am I having too much of coffee. I am totally confused. AND then first bombshell comes my way. He says “Denim is not allowed in LRI campus. You should be in formals from tomorrow".... Oh boy... What will happen to all my torn-jeans and all those favorite t- shirts?... NO.... Someone is taking away my student-hood from me.... what should I do...

That evening, I go in my panic mode, and to JC Penny to get some khakis and shirts...

4: Trouble starts:

Well, soon, the honeymoon gets over and the "real" thing starts. After the first meeting with my advisor, I get 38 papers to read, and my desk is full of papers, books, research notebooks, and what not! And I have no idea of what they talk about. Everyone in my lab talks as if I am born with the knowledge of the research concept, my advisor talks to me in a language that is Greek to me, and I am supposed to come to that level by reading all papers!!!.... Problem starts...

Now I attend 4 meetings a week, spend most of my time under the hood and fill up 2 pages of lab notebook every day. It’s been a while since I have played Tennis.

5: Life comes back to normal:

Soon things get nasty... workload increases 10-fold... I want my boss to go for a 2-week conference in Japan... but this time around, all conferences are in nearby cities... He comes back in two days.

Nowadays, its just me, my work, my coffee, and my lab notebook... terms like chilling out, having a break, being tired, taking a day off, working out in a gym are out of my vocabulary. :(... I begin to realize that that’s what life really means... Nowadays I read journal articles in my free times, I read philosophy as a past time, my friends consider me as a junky waste... and my parents have given up hopes on me.

These are a few typical initial reactions of a first year graduate student at LRI. Jokes apart, the research activity and combined output at LRI is of so much of high quality that a new student typically gets overwhelmed seeing everyone so hard working, so knowledgeable and so thorough in their work... To start with, he/she has no clue about the cutting edge technology, has no experience of applying text-book knowledge to a practical use. Typically, what a new student needs is a mentor, who could guide him/ her in his initial research and answer a few basic questions, a few new friends with whom he/ she can have some fun while at work, a group of people with whom he/she can have daily lunch, and a boss who understands that people have life beyond research. It takes a while to get used to everything here, but once he finds his own small space in this horizon... things get easier and better.

So far, the first few months at LRI have been really satisfying and I look forward to making the next few years special ones in my career.

-
Vivek Raut

Whitewater Rafting in West Virginia

2005-08-22T20:21:00.000-04:00

This one was on my "to do" list since past 2 months.... Almost finalised one in July... 10 people in Cleveland had actually said YES (my self-experience says that it takes on an average 21 e-mails to bring 6 people together in Cleveland. So imagine how difficult that was !!)... but then when it came to booking the trip... a few people backed out, and whole idea flopped.

So when Nigamath and Divya mentioned about rafting in one Asha meeting, (which was the first one for me) I saw a slim ray of hope somewhere. I liked 2 things about Asha-Cleveland chapter in the first meeting itself: 1: they all go out for a sandwich or so after the meeting. 2: they are a cool group, and don't pretend to be too busy :-).

Anyways, so we fixed 19th, 20th and 21st August to be the rafting weekend. We decided to do rafting with Songer as they offered us the cheapest rafting deal. A few of us decided to go for the Upper New river, and the rest of the gang (7 of us) decided to venture in the lower New river, which offers level 4 and 5 rapids.

A few facts about the New river. After the Nile, the New River is the second oldest river in the world (and hence the name), and it has world's second longest suspension less (single arch) bridge across its gorge. (the longest is in China, which is just 4 cm longer). It is 876 ft high. Every year, on a Bridge Day, hundreds of BASE jumpers and nearly 200,000 spectators are gather on the bridge and celebrate the largest extreme sports event in the world. The New River Gorge Bridge serves as the launch point for six hours BASE jumps. Just being there on the bridge and going beneath it was a great feeling in itself.

Anyways, so we started a long 5 hour drive at 4pm on Friday from Cleveland. Nigmanth, Divya, Himanshu, Rohini had left on Thursday itself. 6 of us (Bharadwaj, Ramya, Vishal, Dipit, Amita, me) left on Friday (we work very hard, we hardly get a day off during weekdays :D. :D.) Driving was hardly boring as we had lots of things to talk.

We reached the campsite at around 11.30 pm. Our Thursday gang greeted us with loud cheer and lots of stories to tell. We quickly set up the tent and went to bed (or sleeping bag ??) soon, as a hectic day of rafting was coming up.

On Saturday, we had delicious Masala Tea and spicy Pohe for breakfast. A very tasty and hearty breakfast set the day for us. After taking bath and packing up, we were ready for rafting. After a short ride to the starting point, at 11.30 AM, we were ready for 6 hours of rafting with our rafting gear, a huge 9 person raft and Megan (our instructor).

The New river gorge is East America's most popular white water river. Lower New River has an enormous volume of water coursing through a narrow canyon. The water creates a friction along the bottom and sides which generates big, oscillating waves, making for exciting rafting.

The entire 6 hour rafting experience was worth every rapid and every minute. Rafting has always been fun, challenge, and excitement And this time it was no different. Every time a rapid comes up, one feels a moment of excitement mixed with a bit of fear factor, one gets ready to face the worst and enjoy the best, quickly praying God with a hope of not falling in the gregarious current of water. But after all the high intensity action, that one moment of victory and joy makes you feel proud of yourself. That, I believe is the biggest and the happiest moment in rafting. When you look back at the rapid, and those thundering waves going up and down, you get an idea and a feel of what happened in your life a moment back.

We had a lot of fun in water, with many of us swimming in between rapids, and a few of us trying hard to swim. It was a very satisfying rafting experience for me, but my first rafting experience in the lower ocoee river would probably be the most cherishable one for me... may be because it was my first attempt with rafting, and also because our guide Lydia was too cute n sexy.

Some Brownie points for Songer: They have a very well maintained campsite, with excellent facilities. The restroom are spacious and very clean , with hot water bath facilities. The rates are reasonable and all the guides are friendly and helping. I would definitely recommend you to check them out if you plan to do rafting in this part of the world.

Saturday evening was camping and campfire time. We had a very delicious Rajma-Rice, and spicy masala rice (courtesy Himanshu) for dinner. It was indeed very very tasty (I swear you wont get a better rajma-rice even in the 5 star restaurent in Mumbai). We also had some sweet corn and some barbecue grilled lemon pepper chicken with that. After dinner, we had one small walk around the campsite and then we played cards till 1 AM. It was nice and cold, and overcast with occasional drizzles- a perfect atmosphere for outdoor recreation. For once, missed my monsoon trekking days in Sahyadri. Hope I can get those happy days of my life once again :(.

Anyways, plan for Sunday was to visit the ISKON Vrindavan temple in West Virginia, and also the Palace of Gold. Its a very well maintained and a very nicely developed place and one should definitely visit this place once. We had a nice time there and the 4 hour drive was worth it.

On our return trip to Akron, we had dinner in an Indian restaurant in Canton named Bombay Sitar. Its a fine place for some nice Indian food. I liked their rotis a lot.

So after almost 800 miles of drive, 2 nites of camping, and 6 hours of hardcore rafting, we were back to Cleveland with lots of cherishable memories, tons of fun, some Kodak moments, broad smiles, tanned skin and soar ankles( and for me, 9 new friends). It was a very nice trip.

Next on my task is a nite trek. Its been a while since I have done a nite trek on a full moon nite... there is no more pleasure than a nite trek with just a handful of friends in company. I don't know when that will happen, but I am looking forth to it.

I also want to do Kayaking sometime in my life. I was getting jealous of all those kayaks who were having so much of fun that day... I guess kayaking would be one ultimate pleasure. I know, for someone like me, who doesn't know swimming for nuts, (people have written articles about how they saved me!!!!) it is stupid to think of kayaking... but... there is always an hope!!

Click here for group photos. There are more coming. My digicam is broken, so have fun guys and girls. You will see some human beings in these photos because they are not taken by me :D.

Its been one hell of a summer so far: india trip, trek to himalayas, lots of travelling, a hiking trip, a rafting trip, couple of summer trips... its been fun. Am hoping to have more fun next summer.

Ok, Now I am Signing off!!

2005-08-22T20:20:00.000-04:00

Washington DC trip

2005-08-16T17:00:00.000-04:00

Well, this one was planned a long time back. The occasion was Neil's wedding. Neil is my distant cousin (son of Dr. Madhukar and Lalita Thakur, who happen to be my mother's mama[maternal uncle]). The wedding was on the 12th, and I was invited. So booked the tickets and a rented car a month back. Since I was going after a long time to DC area, also thought of meeting some of my long lost friends.

My flight from Cleveland was supposed to take off at 7 PM... but was delayed by 2 hours.... I was all prepared for such delays and had a bunch of movies with me to see in spare time. So it was time to see Shaw shank Redemption. Believe it or not, I was yet to see that movie, wanted to see this one since long long time... but never got 2 spare hours for it. Its a gem of a movie.... liked it a lot. Would put this one along with Forrest Gump and The life of David Gale, two of my most favorite movies. So the waiting time at Cleveland was very well spent.

After reaching DC and renting the car, drove to Richmond, VA to meet Rohit Sawant, my undergrad friend. It was nice to meet Rohit after 2 years, and first time in US. Apart from old memories, we discussed whitewater rafting in West Virginia... He did one a couple of weeks back and I am planning to do it this weekend. Saw the DVD of their rafting, which was really cool. The lower New river in WV provides level IV and V rapids, and am really excited about coming weekend.

Anyways, next day drove from Richmond to Washington DC for Neil's wedding. It was a very well planned one, and only selected few were invited. Got to meet mama, mami, Dilip mama, Sachin, Netra tai, Sanjay, Nikhil and everyone else after really long time... precisely after 2 years. Last time we all met was for Netra Tai's wedding in June 2003. This pretty much summarises all the relatives I have in the United States, and its a different feeling altogether to meet your loved ones after a long time.

The wedding itself was a class affair, which started in a traditional maharashtrian way, with all mantras and other customs... and followed by a banquet. Had a lot of fun and lot of food as well. It went on till 12.30 AM.

Then drove to Ajinkya's places in Manassas, Virginia. This was kind of unplanned visit. I actually had called Pramod Shanbhag, to see if I could meet him. But he, and a few others were going to meet at Ajinkya's place... So it was kinda Clemson reunion. Apart from Ajinkya and Pramod, there was a strong Clemson gang of Srinivas, Nilu and Bhargavi. Most of the time was spent in exchanging movies from one laptop to other... There were 6 Clemson engineers and 4 laptops.... So there was very active information exchange on Saturday nite/ Sunday morning. It was nice to see so many Clemson people together after long time.

Next day morning, had Indian masala tea with croissants... and we watched the Ashes test match between England and Australia. This Ashes series is shaping up very well and is promising to be a very absorbing and exciting one. Andrew Strauss and Ian Bell were in full flow, and it was good (and very rare) to see Mcgrath and Warne being hit all over the ground so mercilessly.

After a quick photo-session, had to say good bye to them, as I had another brief meeting with Het and Rohit in Washington DC. Wanted to spend some more time in Manassas, as they all were heading for miniature-golf. May be next time.

So Het, Rohit and I had decided to meet at Union Station, Washington DC. It was kind of VESIT reunion. In Rohit's words: "Had a good time since few old memories came up which made us laugh a lot. I hope we will be able to meet again once Binu is up here and makes some plan to Visit the East Coast here"... am looking forth to meeting my old gang.

Anyways, so after very hectic 2 days, 400 miles of driving... I was back to Dulles airport, only to realise that the plane was an hour late this time. Since one hour was not sufficient for a movie, it was Tom and Jerry time... which of course of full of fun.

Now am back in Cleveland, and back to work... but am already in the rafting mood. Am looking forth to coming weekend in West Virginia.

Japanese dinner at Pacific East

2005-08-09T22:46:00.000-04:00

Who doesn't like free food?....

My roommate Siddhartha has a Japanese guest from Japan in his lab for some project related work. They were planning to go to a Japanese restaurant and (since it was not very close to our apartment, they needed a car,) Siddhartha asked me if I could join them. I accepted the invitation gleefully. There is nothing more fascinating in this world than to get free food at a nice place.

so we chose Pacific East. It had some good reviews online and was placed at a very neat location. Pacific East has a neat ambiance, a mostly blue space, nicely offsetting the red wood tables and chairs. The place has a vast menu, listing dozens of sushi options plus just about any vegetable ever grown in Japan as well as many tempura, yakatori, udon, don buri, and teriyaki. Service was exceedingly polite and efficient. It was my first outing at a Japanese restaurant, and I must say that I was not disappointed.

I found Ritsuko (Siddhartha's guest) a very well mannered, confident and a charming lady. I must say that she has been a wonderful ambassador for her country and her company. It was nice meeting her.

Anyways, so Ritsuko was there to guide us for ordering food. Pacific East has huge list of items on their menu.. and for a first timer, its indeed a huge task to understand whats going on. It took me a long time to figure out what is good and what is not. Finally ordered Miso Soup (Soy bean soup with been curd, seaweed and scallion) and Tako Yaki (Octopus balls) for appetisers, Oyako Don (chicken with egg on rice) and chicken Katsu (similar to breaded chicken strips) as main course. Ritsoku had Hiya- Yako (cold bean curd with flakes and scallion) and shrimp Tempura. Sidharth had Oyako Don, and Tempuras.

Food was good. Tried to have it with those sticks, but could not. So requested for fork and knife and enjoyed this new delicacy. Now onwards, Octopus will be one more addition to my list. They actually taste pretty good... similar to shrimp. I really enjoyed the Tako Yaki. Rest of the food was good.

They also served some Japanese wine at the end.... it was really good and mellow. Liked it.

All in all, had a good Tuesday evening.

Allegheny Camping and Hiking

2005-08-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

Ever since I shifted to Cleveland, I was getting increasingly uncomfortable to see no mountains in and around Ohio. Even feared for a few days that I will have to give up my passion for hiking and camping, and will have to take interest in singing and cooking, etc (:D, :D).... and the thought was scary enough. Surprisingly not too many people hike in Ohio and surrounding states, as its generally a flat land. Come August and I was getting desperate to get out of Cleveland, go to some dense forest and have lots of fun.

So we had to go east to find a thick jungle. And we got Allegheny National park. Vivek, Devyani, Meghna were interested in camping, so we finalised 6th, 7th August as the D-day. I also invited Aniket and Abhijit from Ann Harbor, Michigan; and they were glad to join us. I have known Aniket since past 7 years, and had a few treks together in Maharashtra. We both came to US in 2002, but it was not possible to meet up, as I was in the Carolinas. So I was also keen to catch up with him. Abhishek is also a very avid hiker and has extensive experience of hiking in Maharashtra as well as US.

Allegheny National Forest has a rich variety of outdoor activities to entertain you. There are several trails, ranging from very easy to difficult ones. Also, there are over 600 camp-sites and other recreational activities. Amongst many trails, we chose the Minister Creek trail and the nearby campground, as it was described as a difficult trail in a thick jungle and undeveloped area, which sounded interesting.

Since I have met them 20 days back, I have always found Vivek, Devyani and Meghna full of enthusiasm, a hearty laugh and something to chatter. Devang and Amit also fall in same league. So all in all, an interesting weekend was in offing; with guaranteed non stop entertainment.

On a sunny, hot Saturday morning 8 of us (Abhishek, Aniket, Amit, Vivek, Devang, Meghna, Devyani, me) left Cleveland in 2 cars. Together, we had around 60 music CDs + 8 talkative people... so the 3 hour long drive was hardly boring.

As we came closer to the national park, the forest grew thick, roads became narrower and full of curves. It was a roller coaster ride for a while. As we reached the campsite, we realised that all the sites were full. Now the option was to set up our tents at another campground nearby (which was available, but was a bit too commercialised. We were looking for somewhat more primitive), or away from the campsite, in the woods at the Minister Creek. We chose the second option.

One good thing about Allegheny is that you can set up your tent anywhere in the jungle, except near the trails. It proved to be an excellent choice, as we had even more fun away from the crowd, just by ourselves.

By the time we set up the tents, it was 5 PM, and it was time for relaxing. We started with some chips and salsa, and some beer. The topic of discussion for the evening snack was Andaz Apna Apna and Hera Pheri.... :D.

The main challenge for the evening was to set up the grill. Since we did not set the camp at a normal campsite, we didnt have a proper grill to grill our food. So we fabricated a temporary stone grill, put some charcoal in it, topped with a couple of layers of Aluminium foil. It took 8 engineers and a lot of engineering innovation to set up a grill. But we did it at last (this situation was similar to a sardar joke: it took 50 sardars to change the bulb... 1 to hold the bulb and 49 to rotate the wall, and yet they failed. I am glad that 8 of us did the job :-).

Conclusion: we are not sardars. We can do it ).

Anyways, soon our burgers and chicken breasts and veggies were cooking on red hot charcoal. We also started a campfire side-by-side and put some potatoes and veggies in it, seasoned with Mexican seasoning. It was a very delicious dinner, and it tasted even better with some fine red and white wine. I must mention that the chicken I had on that evening was one of the tastiest I have had ever.

All this while, our topics of discussion varied from Cleveland, Ann Arbor, US, India, football, cricket, baseball to Human beings, animals, Aniket Joshi and Siddharth Dutta. Aniket (who claims to get loads of spare time because he is a full -time research student at University of Michigan at Ann Arbor) tried a lot to prove his point that U Mich is a superior research place, but his efforts fell short against 6 Case researchers. Later he tried to crack some jokes from his "improv" club; however, one must say that he needs to improve. Having said that, this trek won't have been even half enjoyable without Aniket. So keep it up buddy.

It was dessert time by then and we had some marshmallow roasters for dessert. After so much of food, a deep sleep was inevitable.

Next morning, after having the breakfast of apples and doughnuts, we started our hike. This almost 7 miles hike is full of huge boulders and lots of ups and downs as well as streams and trees. It was a very enjoyable 4 hour hike. We did a bit of rock climbing, a bit of tree climbing, some apple picking, lots of relaxing and some walking.

On our way back, we had a late lunch at the Pepper-mate Restaurant in Warren. They claim to be the best family restaurant in Warren. Well, considering their food, I would say that Warren families need to improve.

Anyways, it was an excellent weekend overall. It seems that Allegheny will be my second home in Cleveland in a next couple of years. I would definitely recommend you to visit that place at least once. Its cool, and all the trails are worth the effort. I am already planning another camping trip in Fall Break later in October.

Please click here for camping pics.

Baseball game

2005-08-05T16:59:00.000-04:00

I guess I surprised myself when I went to see the Indians Vs. Yankees Baseball game yesterday.

I like the concept of baseball, as its close to cricket; and i have been trying to understand its rules etc. But never got a chance to follow the game closely. Life in Clemson was too busy to follow baseball in addition to other games.

Couple of days back, Vivek asked if I would be interested in joining him and Devyani for this game. It sounded a great idea.

Its a great experience to be in the ground and see the game live. It was my first such experience, so thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a strong 35-40 thousand crowd, and we were in the top rows. the screen was rt in front of us. Vivek helped me to understand the game; and it was very easy after that.

About the game.... in one line: "Cleveland Indians are a bunch of idiots". They were leading 3-2 till the start of the 9th Innings. Yankees hit 2 home runs in the 9th innings... went 4-3 up.. and then got all 3 Indian hitters in a minute. It was a huge let down at the end. Something I would expect from the Indian cricket team (because Indian cricketers do not carry brain on their shoulders when they go out in middle and play. If you observe closely, Zaheer Khan and Ashish Nehra look mentally retarded when they bowl and are hit for 2-3 fours in one over), but not from the Cleveland Indians...

Bob Wickman messed it all up. MLB has a good cover-up article:

"CLEVELAND -- Bob Wickman knows how precarious life as a closer can be.
After recording saves in the first two games of the series against the Yankees, Wickman's attempt for a third was wiped out by ninth-inning home runs by Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi on Thursday night.

The solo homers turned a 3-2 lead into a 4-3 loss, preventing the Indians from recording their first sweep over the Yankees at home since 1970.

Instead of recording his 30th save of the season, Wickman was saddled with his fourth blown save in 33 chances.

When it was all over, Wickman knew where to place the blame.

"I let the team down," Wickman said. "If it wasn't for me, we would have won three games."

Wickman, who leads the American League in saves, said pitching for the third night in a row wasn't the issue. It was more a matter of making bad pitches. After he retired Gary Sheffield on a fly ball to start the inning, Rodriguez crushed a 3-1 pitch into the bleachers in left.

"I was trying to throw it down and away," said Wickman. "It didn't go down and away. It wasn't where I wanted it, but it wasn't the worst pitch in the world."

The 2-1 pitch to Rodriguez raised some questions from the Indians. Plate umpire Bob Davidson called the close pitch a ball, drawing a long stare from Wickman and some yelling from manager Eric Wedge.

"There were a couple of questionable pitches late," said Wedge.

"It was tough to tell," said Wickman.

Wickman (0-3) retired Hideki Matsui on a ground ball, but Giambi, who also homered in the fifth off Kevin Millwood, took a 2-1 pitch to right.

"He hit a slider," said Wickman. "It's the first home run I've given up on a breaking ball all year."

Millwood held New York to two runs in eight innings. John Flaherty also homered off Millwood in the second.

Wedge had no second thoughts about pulling Millwood, who threw 94 pitches.

"It was tough, but Kevin had worked hard," he said. "He did a great job. That was enough for him. Wicky has been great for us. It was one of those days with Wicky."

Millwood, who allowed eight hits, struck out eight and didn't walk a batter, supported the move.

"I was done," Millwood said. "I used my last bit of energy in the last inning. If I went out for the ninth, I would have been real tired. I felt like I was pretty much done after the eighth. I wouldn't have had much on the ball."

Wedge chose to credit the Yankees.

"A couple of pretty good hitters got us late: A-Rod and Giambi," he said.

Wickman also credited the Yankees.

"I felt pretty good," he said. "I just didn't make the pitches. They make you pay when you make a mistake. Guys who hit home runs make you pay when you make a bad pitch."

Down, 2-1, in the seventh, it looked as if the Indians were going to pull this one out. Casey Blake walked to start the inning, which ended the night for Yankees starter Shawn Chacon. Alan Embree came in, and he walked Grady Sizemore. Coco Crisp sacrificed the runners to second and third. The bunt paid off when Jhonny Peralta's groundout off Tom Gordon scored Blake to tie the game.

Travis Hafner, who hadn't played since getting hit in the face by a pitch from Chicago's Mark Buehrle on July 16, grounded a 2-2 pitch through the right side to put the Indians ahead, 3-2, in the seventh. Hafner had missed 17 games with a concussion.

Flaherty's homer, his first of the season, came on a 2-0 pitch and landed in the bleachers in left. Giambi homered to right to lead off the fifth.

The Indians were unable to cash in chances in the second, third and fourth innings, but they finally broke through in the fifth. Blake led off with a single, but Sizemore hit into a double play. Crisp singled and scored when Peralta doubled off the wall in left.
"

All in all it was a great experience though. Enjoyed it a lot. A great game, fairly noisy crowd, pizza, and beer!!... Great experience!!

Asha

2005-08-04T16:39:00.000-04:00

Being a part of AID was one of the most satisfying experiences for me at Clemson. Got a very fantastic friends to hang around with, had lots of fun, and also got some experience of event management in the USA. More important than that, learnt a lot about my country , India. There was a lot more to India than i knew before being a part of AID. The way I think of my country may not be same as the way others think of it; and more importantly the actual situation may not be exactly the same.

We often talk about India being a developed nation by 2020, and India making leaps of progress in IT; but there are millions of people in India who are yet to get the basic knowledge of health care, self-dependence, and education. That's when I decided to be involved with a non-profit organization. I am probably an infinitesimal factor in the development of my country, but still I want to contribute in whatever small way I can. That feeling of doing something for my country gives me a lot of self-satisfaction.

Anyways, AID doesn't have a Cleveland chapter. However, Asha (better known as Asha for Education) is fairly active here and the Cleveland chapter does lots of events thru out the year. Asha for Education is a secular organization dedicated to change in India by focusing on basic education in the belief that education is a critical requisite for socio-economic change.

I have been attending past couple of Asha meetings. Its cool. Its almost same fun as we used to have in AID meeting at Clemson. Hoping to be more involved with Asha in future months, and also get to know some of the members. We are organizing classical Indian music concert by Ustaad Amjad Ali Khan with his sons Ayaan and Amaan Ali Bhangaash on the 17th September. Am looking forward to it. Last few Indian classical music concerts have been a great experience. This one would be no different either. Lets see how it turns out to be.

Happy Happy Happy Happy, Happy days are here again....

2005-07-30T16:04:00.000-04:00

I am enjoying these days... Past 2 weeks or so have been really great!!!.... After a good, long month; feel as if Cleveland has finally accepted me, and I have accepted Cleveland. This mutual acceptance is important for survival.

There have been lots of parties and cricket thru out. It started with a hearty dinner at Vivek Walimbe's place, with Devayani, Meghna, Sameer, Rashmi, and their kid. It was a delicious Indian dinner with Andaz Apna Apna in background, followed by Ice cream. We kept on talking for a couple of hours in Vivek's balcony. From there one can see a lovely view of Cleveland downtown. I want to take its pic one day.... will do it as I get time.

It was followed by Sunday nite dinner with some Case guys (and girls) at Tommy's, and a short trip to Edgewater park by Lake Erie. Its a cool place.... there were lots of people fishing there, and were actually catching a lots of them. I am looking forward to fishing someday by the lakeside.

Then we hosted a party at our place for Siddhath's friends, and they hosted a party the following weekend at their place. So obviously had a great time.

Also, I got my boxes from Clemson, so most of the spare time at home is spent in arranging all the stuff. And then rearranging it. Now my room looks the way I want, with a big (5 ft by 4 ft) US road map and also the world map on the walls, and a poster of a cute little lazy puppy with the quotes "Lazy Days" on the wall near my bed. Plus there are 2 small cabinets, a table, a chair. I would settle for this for now.

A few days back, went to see the hindi movie "Viruddh". Its a serious movie, but I liked it because the first half is well made, portraying the lives of upper-middle class parents living in Mumbai and having their son studying abroad. A few scenes got me thinking about my parents. I was going to talk about it to them, only to realise that they also had been to the same movie a day back.(its been a while since I have had a hearty talk with my parents either. Life is little too fast at the moment. When I went home back in June, hardly got a day to spend with them. Sometimes miss my parents and miss them for not there with me to share my happiness; but its OK I guess. One good thing is that they respect my personal life and do understand that I have a life beyond them and my other relatives. Not all parents are that nice)... They must have read the reviews somewhere.

Anyways, in between all these things, I am going to cricket practice every week and then also to Asha meetings every week.

Its good to be busy, ain't it?

Clemson to Cleveland... life moves on

2005-07-15T11:58:00.000-04:00

Its been more than a month since I have shifted to Cleveland. Getting adjusted to it bit by bit. Never imagined it would be so tough to get used to this place, especially after spending good 3 years in Clemson. I mean, even my backyard in Mumbai is bigger than Clemson, so thought that since I am moving to a bigger city, things should be much easier at Cleveland, but soon realised that it was not the case.

Cleveland is a nice little city, but its weird in the sense that one struggles to find people to have a hearty talk with. Coming from Clemson, where I knew almost entire Indian community of 300 and so many others, felt as if coming to a desert, as there was no one to talk with.

This is something bit unusual. Its not that there are no people. The place where I work, the Cleveland Clinic, has tons of employees, but somehow all are in a hurry to do something. They don't walk, they run. That was a huge contrast from Clemson life, where we didn't walk either, we crawled. Another fact was that, since I am joining early ( in June instead of August), there is no one who's with me to start off with. So, it was bit unusual not to have a good company in day-to-day life.

Soon, things got better. Got a nice little apartment in a very good locality. Its called Little Italy, as it was primarily an Italian community, and has many nice Italian restaurants. It like lovely little castle. We have a nice backyard with a cherry tree (with cherries on it), and its a homely apartment. After settling in with the utilities, and the furniture, and all; the next task was to get a car. I was done with sitting at home on weekends.

And got a nice car as well. Its a Toyota Camry. Its runs smooth, and is a great comfort. I have already made a couple of small road trips here and there, and its cool.

Nowadays trying to meet people and make new friends.... its like whole new cycle.... did it after school, at engineering college, at Johnson Controls, at Clemson and now at Cleveland. Nowadays, am going for cricket practice every Friday with CSU guys. Its fun to be all padded up and playing with leather ball. And yes, I am not getting out on zero anymore :).

Met Suneel Sai, a VESIT senior last week. It was great to meet someone after 5 long years. He was accompanying his girlfriend Sindhu. We had a nice time first at the Omnimax dome. Watching something on a huge 160 degree dome screen was amazing. Its supposed to be one of world's largest screen.

Then, very interestingly, went to an Ethiopian restaurant, Taytu, and it was a cool restaurant. I would recommend anyone who likes to try something spicy and something new, at a good ambiance. We tried some Samboosas (similar to Indian Samosas), some spicy shrimp and some extra hot beef stuff. The shrimp was worth it. Excellent taste.

"As you walk in the door, the aroma of ginger, cardamom and cloves greets you. The walls are decorated with photos of Ethiopia, and servers are garbed in long white dresses. Here you'll dine as the ancient Abyssinian did: at basket- like tables (mesobs) where you scoop up food with injera, a pancake-like buckwheat bread, from tabletop-sized platters. Dining here isn't just a culinary experience, it's a cross-cultural experience, too. For starters, try the sambussa, fried turnovers stuffed with jalapeno±s and onions -- hot hot hot. For dinner, share a meat combo with marinated chicken, tender stewed beef, lamb and ground beef in their appropriate sauces, and/or a vegetable combo with spiced peas and lentils, well-flavored greens, string beans and potatoes in their appropriate sauces. Both come with good-sized "American" salads. Desserts are tame here (sweets aren't part of Ethiopian culture), so for afters, opt for the enchanting Ethiopian coffee ceremony. Green coffee beans are roasted to order and brought to the table still hot, then ground. Then, as your coffee brews in a clay pot, your soft-spoken server lights incense and explains Ethiopian coffee customs."

All in all, I am having a nice time in Cleveland. Never felt so relieved and relaxed in years: was always under some stress or other. Things are much better now (I hope I can get back some of my hair on my head :)) ). Making some nice friends at the clinic, and in community as well.

Signing off,
Vivek

Trek pics

2005-06-07T08:34:00.000-04:00

Will write a detailed trek report soon. Meanwhile, have a look at my trek pics:

click here: http://community.webshots.com/user/vivek1512_5

India Trip - Part II

2005-06-07T08:16:00.000-04:00

SO reached India on the 26th. It was a very good Air- India flight. I had heard some very bad feedbacks about Air-India, but was pleasantly surprised at their service. Apart from excellent food, Air- India provides a lot of leg space to relax, and you don’t get cramped up at all. I was still very fresh after 18 hour continuous flight. Secondly, being a non-stop flight, you reach India in considerably short time (18 hours). I will definitely fly AI next time, if it’s not too expensive.

Mumbai was hot. And unbearably humid. One feels continuous discomfort, especially in day time after being used to coolers and air-conditioners in US. Fortunately there are lots of new malls, and Baristas and CCDs. I preferred meeting my friends at such places than meeting outside.

Anyways, this trip was special of sorts. Apart from the trek (will put a detailed report soon), got to experience everything.... from wedding to funerals, and from street fights to dinners in posh hotels. Had real fun in past 20 days. Met a few old friends, revived friendship with a few... and what not. Ate lots of fish and mutton and chicken and sweets and snacks. Delicious food, excellent trek, some nice friends, and spending few days with parents... what else does one want from a 35 day India trip?...

All in all was indeed a great trip. I feel like being reenergized and fresh for my studies and for my life overall. This trip showed me a way to live life happily. And I consider that as a big lesson in life.

More later

India Trip (25th April to 3rd June)

2005-06-06T07:51:00.000-04:00

Well, should have put this up long back. Tried to upload it from India... but as you know...

Anyways, it all happened suddenly and in span of just 4-5 days. Let me get back to 2nd week of April: I had just confirmed my admission to Case Western Reserve University for PhD in Biomedical Engineering, rejecting other 2 admits I had. It was kind of tough decision as I had assistantship and funding from all 3. But chose Case as it gives me an opportunity to do research at one of the best medical research schools in the world + had a fellowship with healthy stipend. It was an offer I could not reject :). I decided to join Case in June itself as it would give me couple of more months for work and to settle down in Cleveland.

So after all formalities were completed, I had a break for more than a month. I was talking to Madhuri about how to spend time and all, and she said why don't you go to India and do a nice trek? It sounded interesting. It was something I had thought long back... when I was dreaming about my dream vacations. So I googled and contacted a few friends in India to see if there were some nice Himalayalan treks being organized in May, and indeed there were a few. It sounded feasible and interesting too. Then I enquired about tickets and surprisingly they were within my budget! Then thought, why not!!... Dreams sometimes come true. So, let’s make this trip.

I got tickets on the 20th and I flew on the 25th. It was bit too hectic to pack up everything as I was leaving Clemson for good. But you never feel tired while leaving for India. So somehow managed everything. And I was off to India....

(Continued in part 2)

Pt. Shivkumar Sharma, Zakir Hussein

2005-04-07T18:01:00.000-04:00

It was the moment of ecstasy, an extreme pleasure to be there at the Pt. Shiv Kumar Sharma- Zakir Hussein concert at Atlanta last weekend. It was a wonderful display of Indian classical music and Indian culture.

Panditji is a maestro of Santoor; no one gets better than him. He was at his best on that day, literally creating magic out of those 100 strings. He received spontaneous applauses so many times, and not to mention standing ovations. And to have another genius like Zakir Hussein as an accomplice was something!!

This was my 3rd Zakir Hussein concert, and first time I saw him being overshadowed by someone else on sheer class and persona. I guess it’s to do with seniority and class of Shiv Kumar Sharma. But still, he had his own moments. I would say that Zakir was man of the match on many occasions, but Panditji was man of the series.

Will remember this concert for long long time.

Mobile Chess

2005-04-01T15:51:00.000-05:00

Am addicted to playing chess on my Samsung X427 off late. I win 5 times before going to bed. :D.

I guess whoever designed, programmed, coded this version must be an absolute d*mba*s!!!. It was the stupidest opponent I have come across. Mind you, before this I rarely played chess, and had not won a single game till a week or so back. One day, just out of sheer boredom of standing at a bus stop, I started with this stuff. It has 3 levels of "difficulties"... easy, normal, and hard. But I guess the easy one is smarter than the hard one and basically all keep making stupidest mistakes.

It is impossible to be on a loosing side. I even tried to loose, but I guess it is not programmed that way at all. Means, you cannot loose, and the mobile cannot win. It must be a part of excellent customer satisfaction I guess.

Meanwhile, if you are looking for such momentary pleasures, like winning 3 games in 15 minutes, Samsung X-427 is there for you!!

Happy and having fun

2005-03-29T16:32:00.000-05:00

Things are much better and relaxing after getting couple of admits and fellowship. It gives a lot of confidence and conviction in life. I always wanted to do this (spend 5 years for PhD at a very good graduate school).... and I now see it coming to reality. It feels nice. Such moments remind you that there are always soothing and satisfying moments coming up in life, you just have to work hard to get them and then savor such moments.

Have traveled a lot in past week. Went to Charleston for beach camping and then to rafting and to Chattanooga. Will be going to Charleston again next Monday for some work. After spending a lot of days under bright sun, I have got a pretty strong tan. I am almost black now :D. Hope it goes away fast. I remember this day: I was in first year and had gone for a 3 day trek... I came back with a lot of tan... and all building friends made life difficult by calling me Koyla. ShahRukh Khan's movie Koyla was running at the same time. Literally had to hide my face for a few days. :))... hope it doesn’t happen again.

Sunil has nicely settled into his job now. It's nice to see that he's living life royally and the way he wants it to be. I guess he's setting a very nice example of how to enjoy life if you have money, and yet to be in control. Keep going buddy.

...But still some people don't change. It was strange to see him barking like a dog at a girl in other car when we were driving on interstate, just to frighten off the poor soul. :)). It was really funny to see a man earning 60K barking like a dog and immensely enjoying the act :D:D.

I have around 50 days before starting my research. Have India trip in mind. There are a few very exciting Himalayan expeditions being conducted by Youth Hostels. I want to do Har ki Doon trek... it’s a 15-20 day trek in Uttaranchal’s Garhwal mountain range, with a lot of time spent on glaciers(http://www.yhaindia.org/Transaction/AdventurePrograms/ProgramDetails.aspx#).

Let’s see if it materializes or not. It all depends upon how soon I get my new I-20. But if everything falls in space, I should be in Bombay by 25th April. It’s been a while since I have seen my parents. I guess they are more eager to see me. Let's see what’s in store.

Ruby Falls photos

2005-03-29T16:26:00.000-05:00

Chk Ruby Falls photos here:

http://community.webshots.com/album/308862636CeZHMM

Whitewater rafting and camping at Chattanooga:

2005-03-28T20:15:00.000-05:00

We (Sunil, Jithu, Gaurav, me) started off our weekend trip on early Saturday morning for Whitewater rafting at Ocoee river. It was a beautiful day; it was sunny sky and cool breeze. Winter is over now and I guess it is an ideal climate for camping and outdoor sports.

Rafting is something I thoroughly enjoy, and the Ocoee River is an ideal venue if you want a bit of adventure and lots of fun (this was the rafting route for 1996 Atlanta Olympics, and provides level III and IV rapids. Considering that the Niagara Falls is a level VI rapid, this is not too bad). This time also, it was great fun. We traced almost all the rapids to perfection. It was basically a roller coaster ride on water, especially when we once made a 3-point whirlpool right in the middle of a rapid. Our guide, Shannon, was cool. We had a good time chatting. She holds a Masters in Communication from Appalachian State Univ. This is one thing I like in Americans: they would pursue their hobbies and interests rather sitting at home without worrying about future and money. We have a lot to learn from them.

Jithu was a bit hesitant for rafting initially, as he is hydrophobic and thought that if he falls in water, alligators would eat him. After a lot of convincing, he finally agreed for it. Sunil and I have rafted before as well, so it was OK. Gaurav was as usual hyper and excited.... till he learnt that Shannon was married. After that, he almost refused to follow her instructions. He was visibly upset. I guess his dreams were shattered (they shatter 20 times a day, anyways...)... But only till he saw a group of girls in minimal attire on riverside.

Next destination was Chattanooga. The plan was to do riverside camping and barbeque, and then visit Ruby Falls and Rock City next day. We got a lovely campsite, right besides the Tennessee River. This was my first riverside camping, and was pleasently surprised to see that it can be as enjoyable as camping in thick jungle. After setting up the tent, we started preparations for barbeque.

Chicken barbeque was the best thing I have had in many days. We marinated garlic chicken and fish fillets in Cajun seasoning and curd, and then roasted them on grill. It turned out really delicious. It was followed by Black Forest cake. It probably doesn’t get better that this.

It was a really wonderful but tiring day... and we fell asleep soon. But we had no idea what was in store for us at nite. It suddenly started raining, and then thunderstorms followed. It was raining cats and dogs by midnight... and we realized that our tent was leaking. There was water in tent. We had to vacate the tent and sleep in car. But that was a good experience. I had heard such stories earlier, but I would believe now that things can ACTUALLY get messed up badly if it rains and the tent is leaky.

Something funny happened in the morning. We went to visit restrooms. There were not too many people camping, as it was Easter Sunday. We soon realized that the toilet men's restroom was clogged, and was unusable. As it was an emergency, and there was no one around, we (Gaurav, me) decided to use women's restroom. (This was the first time for me to see women's restroom; and I was terribly excited, Anyways). There were two toilets inside, and one of it did not have the lock. We asked Jithu to stand outside and see that there was no disaster.

Well, Jithu was in photography mood. He saw some ducks nearby, and went to click them. AND at the same time, a lady came. Jithu was not there, he was behind ducks.... Well.... it would be best if the following drama is left to your imagination. Inside conversation was something like this: "Who’s that???", "Oh!! Oops...", "Oh! My god!", “Sorry”. :))). It was bit funny though ;).

Anyways, the next destination was Ruby Falls. They are basically underground caverns (360 ft deep) with a 100 ft underground waterfall. It’s a wonderful site to visit, and the view of Ruby Falls is breathtaking. It was just awesome and was treat to eyes.

My feelings would be best described if I recollect a conversation I overheard. It was between a kid (4-5 years old) and his father. After seeing the falls, the kid exclaimed: “Wow!!.... Those were the best 5 minutes of my life!" It was really astonishing to hear something like this from a small cute kid. But his father's reply was even nicer. He said: "Son, you are yet to live your life. Enjoy whatever you get." :)

All in all, it was a great weekend. Hope there are lots more in near future.

Seinfeld

2005-03-09T22:56:00.000-05:00

OK... Someone control me!!!!

I have seen 30 episodes of Seinfeld in past 2 days.... that simply means 15 hours of Seinfeld. I hope I don’t start talking like Jerry, behaving like Elaine, entering y apartment like Kramer....

Its been on my list to see Seinfeld since past 2 years.... got time this Sunday... ever since I've got up on Monday, have been glued to laptop for Seinfeld and at nite to TV for India- Pakistan... I am going crazy :D.

Boy, here it comes....

2005-03-07T17:09:00.000-05:00

Do you believe in getting pleasant surprises??... Got one a week back.

Frankly speaking, I myself don't know what's coming up next in life. I try to live life the way it comes. Afterall, life is all about unexpected twists and turns... and I have learnt to enjoy it that way...( this is my orkut introduction, copy-pasted it..... why to write same thing in different words each time, when I essentially am a same individual?)

Anyways, so I went to Cleveland for PhD interviews at Case Western Reserve University [CWRU]... it was indeed a very pleasing and satisfying experience. Now CWRU is ranked 5th in Biomedical Engineering... is that really means something. I liked the research environment there and somehow was very comfortable with the entire setup right form the start. One thing that I liked most was that all senior students were really enjoying being there, and doing what they are doing. Talked a lot about general research atmosphere and life in general at Cleveland with a lot of seniors.

I liked Cleveland, its a mid-size city on the shores of Lake Erie.... has its own culture... Had a chance to roam around in a downtown a bit, traveled a lot thru the metro rail... Had fun at Jillian’s. ...

Anyways, next day had a few interviews... I thought I did well in that... but getting an admit from CWRU was always difficult.

Then went to Pittsburgh... (Will put up a blog about it later)... and finally came back to Clemson.

As I entered home... there was a FedEx package lying for me. Opened it... it was the admit letter from CWRU. And they had also awarded me a fellowship of 23000 per year.

Man.. That was awesome!!!!.... Wish I could yell or cry or dance or... after all this was sort of dream come true moment. I'd strived for it since October. And finally got what I wanted to do in life.... But to be frank, I didn’t expect the decision so soon.

So… I didn’t do anything like that. Called up a few close people and then called home to talk to parents.... (Well first thing they did was to locate Cleveland on USA map.... and next question was "does it snow a lot there?"... That was kinda funny as I'd just experienced a severe snow storm at Cleveland before coming back.)

Well, that’s it.... am waiting to hear from few researchers, and will take a final decision soon. For the moment, life is good.

Catching Up!!

2005-02-21T22:58:00.000-05:00

I don’t write too often nowadays. Don’t have that much leisure time for all my hobbies and interests. Life is moving at a very fast pace. Since February, rarely has it happened that I have nothing to do. I am enjoying this new phase, as I like to be busy.... sometimes its good to keep your brain working overtime ;).

Got an admit from University of Pittsburgh, for PhD in Bioengineering. This is one school I would be proud to associate myself with, as they have really interesting projects and a very senior faculty. I am visiting the department this weekend. Hoping to meet few professors. I would also be going to Case Western Reserve Univ. at Cleveland before that, for an interview for PhD admissions. It feels good to see all the hard work (which started long way back in September) paying off bit by bit. Am very positive and excited about this trip. Let’s see what happens.

Apart from that, February appears to be a month of interviews. Have had a few telephonic ones and one on-site at Boston. Things are finally happening thick and fast. It was a very good experience, in more than one ways. I learnt a lot in past month or so. I had done a good homework for these interviews, and it always helps to be well prepared. Did well from my side, exceeded my own expectations. Let’s see what the output is. Working hard is something in my hands; the ultimate output is not really what I can decide. But I believe I have done my job well... and that itself gives me a lot of happiness.

But still, what holds in my future is a mystery for myself. I myself don't have an answer and feel out of clues sometimes. It feels as if I am a puppet, and strings of my future are with someone else, and I am just dancing to his tunes. Sometimes feel as if I myself am that puppeteer, who’s holding all these strings and doing the balancing act. Its funny feeling and its funnier to be in this ‘avalanche’ situation, but hopefully its taking me in right direction.

That’s it for the moment from my side at the moment. Will surely post if and when something new and exciting happens in life.

Signing off,
Viv.

Biotech Bodies

2005-01-31T12:47:00.000-05:00

Recently came across this article on Tissue Engineering, and its future. Its kinda old but is really well written. It's like a story, or a fairy-tale. Even if you are not from medical/ biomedical background, it should make a very interesting and enterprising article for you. I am copy-pasting it word by word from: http://www.businessweek.com/1998/30/b3588001.htm .

This is something I am planning to work on as a career, for my PhD and lateron as well. I find it a very realistic dream, because its very well supported by a strong scientific base. Read on as you get time:

"Sean G. McCormack of Norwood, Mass., seems like your average 16-year-old boy, if a little more reckless, given his passion for mountain biking. In fact, though, he is an advance scout for a brave new world: He has the first chest grown in a lab rather than in the womb.

Sean was born without cartilage or bone under the skin on his left side, a rare congenital condition known as Poland's Syndrome. The cartilage down the center of his sternum pointed out, and his heart was virtually unprotected--you could see it beating under the skin. Doctors talked of implanting an artificial plate once he reached 21 and stopped growing. But by the time he was 12, Sean was a star pitcher for his Little League team and no longer wanted to put up with a condition that put him at risk every time he played ball. His doctor referred the family to a team of scientists and surgeons at Children's Hospital in Boston who are leading the way in growing human body parts in the lab.

Dr. Joseph Upton and Dr. Dennis P. Lund, working with tissue-engineering pioneer Dr. Joseph P. Vacanti and his brother, Dr. Charles A. Vacanti, scraped away Sean's protruding cartilage and used the cells to seed a biodegradable scaffold made of artificial polymer, molded to the shape of his torso. Dr. Yilin Cao added growth factors to the cells and ''cooked'' the concoction in a bioreactor for several weeks until a chest grew. ''The procedure was so experimental that none of the polymer companies would give us [custom-designed] material for fear of a lawsuit,'' says Joseph Vacanti. The doctors had to adapt off-the-shelf polyglycolic acid, normally used to stitch up wounds, adding to the risk of the operation.

Sean admits that ''at first I was like, 'What if they mess up?' But after a while, I put it in my head that they've done this a million times.'' Of course, they had never even done it on an animal. Nevertheless, after receiving special dispensation from the Food & Drug Administration, doctors implanted the engineered cartilage in Sean. Within a year, the boy had a normal-looking chest that was able to grow along with him. Now, four years later, the six-foot-tall teenager says: ''It's pretty cool. It looks like something I was born with.''

This is more than a nice human-interest story. It is a glimpse into the future of medicine, one in which doctors will routinely order up newly grown, living body parts whenever existing ones fail. Or they will prod the body into regenerating itself. After some 20 years of painstaking investigation into the processes by which cells grow, the nascent field of tissue engineering is ready for prime time, and dozens of startup companies are preparing commercial products. Regenerated or lab-grown bone, cartilage, blood vessels, and skin--as well as embryonic fetal nerve tissue--are all being tested in humans. Livers, pancreases, breasts, hearts, ears, and fingers are taking shape in the lab.

Scientists are even trying to develop tissues that would act as drug-delivery vessels. Salivary glands could secrete antifungal proteins to fight infections in the throat, skin could release growth hormones, and organs could be genetically engineered to correct a patient's own genetic deficiencies. ''I think [tissue engineering] holds the possibility for revolutionizing clinical medicine,'' says Kiki B. Hellman, coordinator of the FDA's biotechnology center for devices and radiological health.

The age of the biotech body is dawning. Tissue engineering offers the promise that failing organs and aging cells need no longer be tolerated--they can be rejuvenated or replaced with healthy cells and tissues grown anew. The prospect signals ''a profound revolution in medicine,'' says William A. Haseltine, a leading genetic scientist and chief executive of Human Genome Sciences Inc. in Rockville, Md. ''The current chemical era of medicine may, in retrospect, appear to be a clumsy effort to patch rather than permanently repair our broken bodies,'' says Haseltine. ''Cellular replacement may keep us young and healthy forever.''

Haseltine's genetic fountain of youth is a long way off. After all, lab-grown organs, the first step towards his vision, are still subject to the ravages of age. But tissue engineering can certainly keep failing organs from shutting down life prematurely. The principle has already been proven with the first off-the-shelf tissue approved by the FDA in May: a living skin, Apligraf, for the treatment of leg ulcers, a common ailment in the elderly. Apligraf maker Organogenesis Inc. (ORG) of Canton, Mass., turns a few cells of infant foreskin into acres of living skin that can be handled, cut to fit, and grafted on to anyone without fear of rejection or scarring. Next up: cartilage to strengthen the urethra and repair the knee and a method for replacing shinbones. Both processes are in late-stage clinical trials and are likely to be considered for FDA approval in the next year or two.

THUMBS UP.

In the next 10 years, a veritable body shop of spare parts will wend its way from labs to patients. ''It's time for us to move into humans,'' says Charles Vacanti, and he's not wasting any time. At the University of Massachusetts at Worcester, his team is growing thumb bones right now in bioreactors for two machinists who cut off their own appendages. Vacanti says one or both of the thumbs should be grafted back on to the patients this summer, with growth factors added that will encourage regeneration of the nerves and tendon. He figures that the thumbs will be operational about 12 weeks after surgery.

In Boston, meanwhile, a team of doctors at Children's Hospital led by Dr. Anthony J. Atala plans to implant a bladder grown from fetal cells into a human in the next few months. Atala's lab caused a stir in the medical community last summer when doctors there successfully used the same procedure to implant new bladders into 10 baby lambs.

Creating even the most complex organs seems possible, though still 5 to 10 years out. Researchers from around the world met in Toronto in June to set up a 10-year initiative to grow a human heart. ''It's an ambitious project but not a farfetched one,'' says Michael V. Sefton, biomaterials professor at the University of Toronto and head of the heart effort. ''The likelihood of success is very feasible.''

Other complex tissues are already taking form. At Massachusetts Institute of Technology, chemical engineer Linda Griffith-Cima is using three-dimensional printers, first developed for computer-aided design, to build up structures that are turned into mouse-size livers. And at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, David J. Mooney, another chemical engineer, is heading an effort to grow cosmetic breasts for women who have had theirs removed. Researchers in Sweden and California have been able to regenerate nerves in rats with severed or damaged spinal cords to the point where they can walk again--albeit weakly.

With each success, more attention is paid. After years of barely acknowledging tissue-engineering research, the National Institutes of Health plans to award 30 grants in the field, some $6 million worth, this summer. But the lack of government interest heretofore may have been a blessing in disguise. Gail Naughton, president of Advanced Tissue Sciences Inc. (ATIS) of La Jolla, Calif., says that because so little federal money was available, tissue engineers had little choice in years past but to start a company and go public in order to raise funds. ''I think that this field has moved so quickly toward reality precisely because it spent very little time in academic labs,'' she says.

Even as it gains recognition, tissue engineering remains hard to categorize. The multidisciplinary field attracts surgeons, chemical engineers, materials scientists, and genetic researchers. Products straddle the boundaries between medical devices and gene therapy. The FDA even had to set up a special task force three years ago to figure out how to regulate the products.

The FDA is playing catch-up with a technology that has been 20 years in the making. As early as 1979, Eugene Bell, professor emeritus of biology at MIT and the founder of Organogenesis, figured out how to grow skin in his lab. Since then, much of the field's progress stems from a 20-year collaboration of two fast friends--Joseph Vacanti, a pediatric surgeon at Children's Hospital, and Robert S. Langer, a chemical engineering professor at MIT. Their lab ''seeded the entire country with people doing this work,'' says Dr. Pamela Bassett, president of medical consultants BioTrend in New York.

LIFE MISSION.

The two, both 49, first met as researchers in the mid-1970s and started working on a way to grow tissue in the early 1980s. In 1986, they developed an elegantly simple concept that underlies most engineered tissue. Start with a scaffold, bent to any shape, made of an artificial, biodegradable polymer. Seed it with living cells, and bathe it in growth factors. The cells multiply, filling up the scaffold and growing into a three-dimensional tissue. Once implanted in the body, the cells are smart enough to recreate their proper tissue functions. Blood vessels attach themselves to the new tissue, the scaffold melts away, and the lab-grown tissue is eventually indistinguishable from its surroundings.

Vacanti, who is remarkably self-effacing despite his pioneering role in the field, says he is driven by his dedication to his patients. He regularly saves the lives of the smallest children by replacing their failing livers--and regularly sees others die for lack of donors. ''I recognized fairly early that the biggest problem facing me as a surgeon was the shortage of organs,'' he says. ''I've devoted my professional life to solving that problem. Wouldn't it be nice if [tissue engineering] could provide the solution?''

Nice is an understatement. A study done by Vacanti and Langer in 1993 found that more than $400 billion is spent each year in the U.S. on patients suffering from organ failure or tissue loss, accounting for almost half the national health-care bill. Some 8 million surgical procedures are performed annually to treat these disorders, yet every year 4,000 people die while waiting for an organ transplant. An additional 100,000 die without even qualifying for the waiting list.

''OVER THE BRINK.'' Those kinds of numbers represent a huge commercial opportunity as well as a humanitarian one. Dr. Peter C. Johnson, president of the Pittsburgh Tissue Engineering Initiative research consortium, estimates that the overall market for engineered and regenerated tissues could reach $80 billion. As for individual products, Michael Ehrenreich, biotech analyst with investment adviser Techvest of New York, says that the most immediately promising are those that repair damaged knee cartilage, now replaced with artificial materials. ''There are a quarter of a million meniscus [knee-joint] operations performed every year, and no good options for repair,'' says Ehrenreich. ''That's the killer app.''

Tissue engineering is dominated now by tiny startups (table, page 64), but the big drug companies are beginning to take notice. Novartis Pharmaceuticals Corp. has investments in four tissue-engineering companies, including Organogenesis. ''With the [FDA] approval of Apligraf, this whole area has really sparked the imagination of corporate executives,'' says David Epstein, vice-president of Novartis' specialty-business sector. ''We've stepped over the brink into the future of medicine.'' Novartis is not the only one with future vision. Britain's Smith & Nephew is investing some $70 million in Advanced Tissue Sciences; Amgen has a deal worth up to $465 million with Baltimore-based Guilford Pharmaceuticals to develop a compound for regenerating nerves; Stryker is funding research into bone regeneration at Creative BioMolecules of Hopkinton, Mass.; and Medtronic has agreed to invest up to $26 million in lab-grown heart valves from LifeCell in The Woodlands, Tex.

Although it may take a decade or more for some of these investments to see any returns, scientists in the field are heartened by the rapid progress of the past two to three years. ''The kinds of things that we are doing now are the kinds of things that we used to think about sitting around having beers 13 or 14 years ago,'' says Dr. Scott P. Bruder, director of bone and soft-tissue regeneration research at Baltimore-based Osiris Therapeutics Inc.

Perhaps most intriguing about tissue engineering, though, is how much the scientists don't know. Much of the excitement in biotech these days centers on figuring out complex cellular interactions and then intervening. Tissue engineering, however, is driven by surgeons and engineers who are, by nature, most interested in a successful endpoint--and less so in how they got there. ''The great thing is, we don't need to know exactly why or how cells organize into tissues,'' says Joseph Vacanti. ''We just need to know that they do.''

This all sounds easier than it actually is. Scientists must still figure out the best materials for the scaffolds that shape the organs, determine exactly the right growth factors, and pick the right cells. For bone and cartilage replacement, one possibility under investigation is a kind of premature cell called a stem cell. First isolated from human bodies in 1992, this specialized cell can turn into everything from bone to tendon to cartilage. Implanting these cells in the appropriate location can generate the full range of cells normally found at that site. While only about one in 100,000 to one in several million bone-marrow cells are stem cells, Osiris Therapeutics, partly owned by Novartis, has been able to isolate enough of them to regenerate bone in both small and large animals.

UNWELCOME STRANGERS.

Scientists also must figure out ways around the immune system's rejection of human tissue. That's not a problem for skin--it presents relatively few resistance problems since the immune system will accept some foreign dermal cells. Nor is rejection a problem when the original cells are taken from the specific patient for which they are meant. However, if off-the-shelf organs are to be transplanted, patients must take the same immunosuppressant drugs now given to them when donor organs are used.

Ideally, tissue engineers want to develop universal donor cells that would not trigger an immune response, so that body parts can be manufactured in large numbers. To that end, cells must either be genetically stripped of their rejection-provoking proteins or encapsulated in a porous membrane that the body will accept. The latter approach is nearing clinical trials for the treatment of diabetics whose pancreases are failing. BioHybrid Technologies Inc. in Shrewsbury, Mass., and Neocrin Co. of Irvine, Calif., are harvesting insulin-producing cells, called islets, from the pancreases of pigs and encasing them in a membrane that blocks the immune response while allowing the cells to do their job. The capsules are injected into the abdomen, where they go to work producing insulin.

Some companies are trying to avoid the whole immunity problem by encouraging the patient's own tissue to regenerate. Genentech Inc. (GNE), for example, announced in March that 5 of 15 patients who were given a genetically engineered protein called VEGF regrew blood vessels around the heart. Integra LifeSciences Corp. (IART) of Plainsboro, N.J., believes that just about any tissue can be regenerated by implanting a collagen matrix coated with the appropriate growth factors at the site of the damage. It already has such a matrix on the market for growing back a burn victim's skin and is in clinical trials with a similar product for the nerve endings in arms and legs. ''The body is continuously regenerating tissue,'' says Integra Chief Operating Officer George W. McKinney III. ''We're just trying to harness that process.''

Most scientists agree that regeneration is the ideal but doubt that it is always possible, or practical. ''Sometimes you have complete organ failure and can't wait for tissue to grow back,'' says Antonios G. Mikos, a bioengineering professor at Rice University. ''In truth, I think we will have both approaches. There is no one right way.''

Indeed, there are dozens of right ways in the works. Reprogenesis Inc. of Cambridge, Mass., for example, is in late-stage clinical trials with its method for using lab-grown cartilage to reinforce the urethra, a tube leading to the bladder. Weakened urethras can lead to incontinence, which afflicts an estimated 10 million people in the U.S., and reflux, a potentially fatal condition affecting about 1% of all infants in which urine backs up into the bladder. Reprogenesis removes a few cartilage cells from behind a patient's ear, grows them in the lab, and then mixes them into a gel matrix. The cells are reinserted endoscopically where the urethra meets the bladder. There, they grow to bulk up the tubal walls.

A knee-repair product called Carticel, approved by the FDA last August, uses somewhat the same principle. Made by Genzyme Tissue Repair, Carticel grows cartilage cells removed from the patient in the lab and then surgically reimplants them in the knee. No matrix is provided, however, so the cells can only be used to repair small rents. To replace the entire meniscus--that's the C-shaped pad in the knee between the thigh bone and shin bone--ReGen Biologics Inc. of Redwood City, Calif., is in clinical trials with a collagen scaffold in the shape of the meniscus. The pad is implanted in the knee to encourage regeneration of the patient's cartilage. Going a step further, Advanced Tissue Sciences is in preclinical trials with a meniscus-shaped cartilage grown in the lab that's meant to work in anyone. It hopes to start human tests by yearend.

NO MORE FILLINGS? After cartilage, look for bone products. Creative BioMolecules Inc. in Hopkinton, Mass., bases its approach on a bone-regenerating protein called OP-1. The company molds a porous scaffold out of calcium, seeds it with OP-1 and a few of the patient's own bone cells, and then reinserts the newly grown structure. Doctors reported in March that in a clinical trial of 122 patients with tibia fractures, the OP-1 graft performed as well as grafts using the patient's own bone.

The biggest market for tissue, though perhaps not the most dramatic, is the mouth. Some 10 million dental surgeries are performed each year in the U.S., on everything from teeth to periodontal ligaments, and most use artificial replacements. One of the first tissue-engineered alternatives is Atrisorb, made by Atrix Laboratories Inc. of Fort Collins, Colo. On the market since 1996, it is a bioabsorbable material loaded with growth factors and healing drugs that guides the regeneration of gum tissue.

But think of the implications if cavities could be filled with engineered tissue. Harold C. Slavkin, director of the National Institute of Dental Research at the NIH, says all the genes for making enamel have been cloned and sequenced, and lab-grown human enamel could be a reality in 5 to 10 years. Some 90 million new fillings are placed each year, and some 200 million are replaced. If those could be filled with original tissue, says Slavkin, ''we'd never have to do traditional fillings again.''

IN A HURRY.

Of course, many of these lab-produced body parts may never make it out of clinical trials. And doctors admit that they are entering uncharted waters: Who knows what might happen to an engineered organ decades after it has been implanted? Lab-grown tissues are put through far more rigorous purification processes than donor organs to make sure that they don't carry diseases, but it still is impossible to be completely sure that a replacement organ won't cause as many problems as the original a few years, or decades, down the line.
Still, there has been no evidence that these engineered tissues could turn malignant, says Joseph Vacanti. Therefore, he asks, ''can we really afford to wait for a complete understanding of how the process works?'' To him, the answer must be no. Millions of lives are hanging in the balance."

I remember a quote from Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam: "Great dreams of great dreamers are always transcended. Dream, dream and dream. Dreams convert into thoughts and thoughts convert into actions. Dreams float on an impatient wind, A wind that wants to create a new order. An order of strength and thundering of fire".

....A beautiful mind and a beautiful life!!

Catching up!!!

2004-12-31T17:59:00.000-05:00

Writing a blog after a lot of days.... 58 to be precise!!. A lot of things happened in these 58 days... trips to California, to Roanoke- Virginia, to New Orleans, to Atlanta, .... and a few things on personal front. As far as my future is concerned, I finally finished applying for PhD. So if all goes well from here, I should start my PhD in August 2005.

It was always in my mind to pursue a PhD. I kinda changed my field after I came to USA for my Master's. I was a Biomedical/ Electrical/ Instrumentation Engineer before and Clemson made me a Bioengineer. I liked this field... the concepts of Tissue Engineering and artificial implants somehow convinced me. I found this field to be very exciting and mesmerizing.... and that’s where a thought of doing PhD came to my mind.

I remember my last India trip, precisely one year back.... I was quietly sitting on shores of GanapatiPule... it was quiet... no one was around... had some leisure time and I was thinking about my future. "What do I WANT to do in life" was and has been the biggest question of my life. It’s not a question of "Can or cannot"... It’s more of a "Want to" problem.... anyways.... and a thought of doing a PhD seriously touched my mind. Before that I didn’t believe that I would be very happy doing a PhD... But I saw a dream... a dream of being a researcher... an inventor... a dream of doing something extraordinary... a dream of being THE best in this field.

I came back to Clemson with those dreams, and have been working towards making them a reality.

California trip was very good in that respect. I had gone there (to Anaheim, LA) to present my research. It was a good opportunity for me to catch up with some big-names in this field as well as to know what I exactly want to do. Those 7 days at Anaheim kind of changed me.... I was now convinced that a Doctorate was my ultimate aim... and it gave me a confidence that I CAN and WANT TO do it. “It’s all in mind"... ( no, I am not John Nash). After I came back from California, I spent 20 days on application procedure... had a couple of interviews with a few profs. And all that....

It was time for a big break then.... and New Orleans happened. It would definitely rank amongst my best road trips. Dsouza has written a pretty nice blog of that trip, I am pasting it here:

New Orleans baby:
”Just back from my New Orleans road trip. Was a fun trip. We (Vipul, Ankur, Jithu, Vivek, Korade, Viraj, Bonda and myself) left on 23rd night from Atlanta and reached New Orleans by 10 am the following morning. We checked into Sleep Inn. At around 2 we ate at an Indian restaurant called Tandoor. We just missed the lunch buffet and we were discussing over the table that we need to go somewhere else cause we were really hungry and we wld have spent atleast 25-30/person since the dishes were pretty expensive. The owner did sense that she was gonna lose business and so she gave us a a fat discount. Shld say the food was very good. :) We then went to Harrahs - New Orleans most famous casino. I did gamble a bit on the slot machines- lost all my money. Ankur did lose $20 on the roulette table. Korade and Bonda $20 each on the Blackjack table. Place seemed decent but think Las Vegas wld be much better.We then left for Bourbon Street - the hippiest street down south. Bourbon lived upto our expectations. The place was crazy. a string of clubs and party joints on both sides of the street. Variety too - live blues, jazz, rock, pop... We drank the "handgrenade", which was advertised as the most powereful drink on bourbon street. Yes now I know why... Ankur and Vipul got drunk lol. We then decided to eat some New Orleans authentic food- cajun(pronounced k zun) specialities. The food was just ok. I ordered the dish which was the combination of Jambalaya(sausage and rice with cajun seasoning) and Crawfish etouffee (a soup) and fried beans. We then started pub hopping. Of all pubs we visited we really liked the one which had a live rock band. The band was really good. They also played our favorites- sweet home alabama, american girl,...A bit of Led Zepplin too. We were a bit dizzy, thanks to the handgrenade. Beer on Bourbon street is very costly, $6 for a glass of beer. Drank beer for a while. We then started fooling around with the shot waitresses and tricked each other into buying /drinking shots. Now we were in the what I call the "Happy" state. Danced for a while. Left the bar without Bonda and Korade. Bonda was trying his luck with the bartendar. Bonda has this never die spirit that I am pretty impressed with :)

Woke up at 12 the following afternoon. Ordered Chinese food which was pathetic. We then thought we shld visit the Honey Island Swamp. We reached there at around 5.30 and it was pretty dark then so we drove back to the city. Went to Bourbon St again. Ate at Royal Rizou(not sure if it was Rizou but name was french) . Oysters is a New Orleans speciality so decided to order fried oysters(we dont dig raw oysters and sauce). I ordered steak sandwitch which was good. It was a long time before the food was served to us. Our behavior in that place got worse over time- Ankur made some Indian tea for himself and drank it from the saucer like we used to do in India. Bonda ordered some brownies and eveyone swooped down on it like vultures. Everyone in the restaurant was looking at all this... kinda pretty surprised - these guys had immaculate manners 10 minutes back and now... In all that commotion Vivek dropped a hot sauce bottle on the floor and now the floor was red lol. We left the place and started pub hopping again. Viraj and myself decided to listen to some live jazz, so we went to a Fritzels - an european jazz bar. The rest were enjoying in the bar we were last night. Dunno much abt jazz but it sounded great. The others now wanted to listen to jazz too. They came in, ordered the costly beer ($8 for a beer) , since it was a minimum 1 drink bar and had just taken their first sip when the band stopped playing hahhahaha. The band was done for the day. Hard luck... They were pretty pissed off and whenever a bunch of drunk guys get pissed off it isn't a grt site. Ankur then went on stage and started fiddling with the band equipment. Bonda wanted to kiss the waitress and was asking ppl to pay him $10 if he does go up to the waitress, ask for a kiss and gets it. We started fooling around on the street. Walking backwards in the middle of the street, moonwalking, shouting and a lot of things which I can't mention. We left for home at round 3 am.We had decided to leave for Clemson as soon as we are back We started our drive back at 4.15am. Reached Atlanta at 1pm the following day. Ate at Minerva. Rested at my place in Atlanta for a couple of hours and then these guys left for Clemson. I have taken many trips and should say that this ranks one among the best.”

It's been a good break for me.... and I am gearing up for some hard work, my mind says so... and "It's all in mind..."

Falls Creek Trek and Camping in Smokies

2004-11-02T17:16:00.000-05:00

Falls creek trail:

It was Saturday and we were all set for an exciting, adventurous hike. I don’t know why I chose this trail... Not much information is available about this place and hardly anyone goes there. But then what’s the fun in having a safe, predictable hike?... so thought of having some adventure.

This hike is weird, its crazy and its mysterious. First of all, there is no defined trail as such. That means wherever you go, it becomes your trail... you just have to remember how to come back. The jungle is dense, thick and it leaves no space for sunrays to reach the ground. Everything is wet, and covered with moss. The wood is spongy and the moment you step on it... it breaks down. The space is filled with unpleasant smell of rotten trees, uneasy wetness and some weird noises made by insects. And in midst of it, flows the creek... which transforms into a waterfall every now and then.

It was fun to walk thru that. We lost our way quite a few times, but the creek helped us in keeping track with the direction. The view of the waterfalls and the creek itself was quite amazing and slippery at a few places and gave us plenty of opportunity to show our trekking skills.

After 4 hours of hike, we were back with innumerous bruises, muddy clothes, tired body and very fresh mind.

All in all, its an excellent place for an experienced trekker, especially if you like a bit of spice in life; but i wont recommend it some an armature.

Photos are available here: http://community.webshots.com/album/210810372xDhIUB

Smokies:

After a very hectic trek, I was not too keen to go to smokies on a very next day, but ISA needed someone who could drive a van. One of my friends asked if I could do that..

One really can’t say no to smokies. It’s my fourth trip to this Blue ridge Mountain range... and i am not yet satisfied. How beautiful can nature be!!!.... It’s almost like heaven. This place reminds me of manali. This place looks similar to what bhimashankar jungle looks in july-august and the panoramic view as beautiful as harishchandragad's konkan kada.
It doesnt get much better than this.

If God asks me "when and where would you like to rest forever"... my answer would be: " if it's smokies or harishchandragad, I am ready to die even right now". I dont mind living at such a beautiful place rather than living in lifeless cities.

Had a lot of fun in this trip. There were some weirdoes who were at their craziest best, and kept people laughing for 2 days. It was fun... a lot of fun.

Hope to have couple of hikes before winter starts.

Photos are available here: http://community.webshots.com/album/210820741XDaeXJ

barber and haircut!!!

2004-10-29T02:15:00.000-04:00

Its been a while since a barber has touched my hair. In past 2 years, I have visited a saloon only once!!

No, no.. I am not planning to act in Aamir Khan's 'Sun- The Rising'.

After we (Sunil, Naren, Deep, me) came to Clemson, we realized that cutting hair outside every 20 days would be a very expensive affair ($12 for a haircut??.. nah....$12 x 50.....600 Rupees... mad or what!!!... was our first reaction..eddam desi eshtyle). So we thought of trying it out at home. First few haircuts were a disaster (invariably we would wear a cap for next 15 days... our apartment had around 10 caps at one point... as everyone would need one) but slowly we improved ourselves. Apart from a few hiccups:

One fine day Naren messed up Deep’s haircut with a huge patch at a very inconvenient spot. After that Deep hasn’t yet dared to try it out again. He prefers a professional barber instead. On another fine day, I by mistake created a dent on Sunil's head and for a month he was a bald headed gentleman.

Apart from that its been a smooth and fairly exciting experience. After Naren moved out, it was just Sunil and me who would cut each others' (upper) hair. I guess we have become fairly professional barbers now... and reliable too. It’s been one memorable experience, and one more very useful thing I learnt in life after coming to Clemson. Sunil is any day better than a professional barber.

The reason I remembered all this: I badly needed a haircut a couple of weeks back. I finally decided to go to a barber as sunil was busy with his thesis defense and I didn’t want him to spend his time cutting hair. So, I went and I almost entered the barber shop...

Man, I was shit scared to let someone else cut my hair. I came out of that shop almost running.

I am going for a conference in LA, California in couple of weeks and I DONT want to be bald at the conference. I am used to give instructions in hindi... and cant simply imagine telling an american "cut short from sides, shorter from backside and slightly long on upper head... i want slope also"... what if he doesn’t understand what exactly I want??... and what if I dont get a satisfactory haircut?? ..."slightly short on this spot....and this much here... and that much there"... nah.

Finally requested Sunil to take some time out, and thankfully he obliged.

I dont know how long I can avoid a barber... as we are unlikely to be in Clemson for too long now... but I will be extremely scared when I enter the barber's shop next time... whenever that happens.

About changing yourself and the world

2004-10-21T00:12:00.000-04:00

"you must be the change if you want to change the world".... its not as easy as it sounds. We had one Gandhi... who tried to change the world by this principles... he changed himself and then asked people to follow him. He was great... Alas, he was killed for his own principles. United States had one Martin Luther King... he also mate same fate.

Take India or US or for that matter any place... things are going worse. For todays hip-hop and party generation, you are a fool if youare principlistic. In today's world; Gandhi, and MLK would have been thrown in mental asylum. Today's world is of Laloo, Bangaroo, Dawood, and Mallika. How can you even think of changing this world?

Forget about India as a whole... take examples in our family,community and neighborhood. We have so many individuals, whom we respect immensely, because they always followed an idealistic approach. They say " we should do this.. and we should do that...". We look forward for their guidance. We hope that they can bring the difference in our society. But these same individuals have ridiculously spoilt kids... they are hopeless, they don't even know how to live a respectable life, they don't even know their own culture, they are completely out of control. If you can't bring the change in your own family, how can you even think of changing this world?.

Forget about changing the world... its not easy even to change yourself. Its extremely difficult to stick to your principles, especially when we are living in a materialistic world.

Today's world is all about money, name, fame and party. People party 4days a week. Do they even have time to think about those so called 'principles' and 'change one has to bring within him/herself' ??. Love, dignity, faith, trust, commitment, relationship.... all are materialistic gains. I have seen closest and best of people changing for money and these so called materialistic gains. How can you change yourself, if you are living in such surroundings?

I am not being negative here., as I know there are people who are different. I myself beg to differ from today's 'chalta hai' attitude. I just wanted to put forth a point that its not easy to change yourself and to change this world.

We Indians

2004-10-19T16:48:00.000-04:00

These are my personal views about the article in Economic Times (the article is pasted at the end of my views):

1: Some examples cited in the Economic Times article are very true (ladies entering the swimming pool in saree and people hogging on the freebreakfast, etc.). It ridiculous to see someone of your own country behaving in an obnoxious way, and thus tarnishing his own as well as his country's reputation.

2: I also agree that a lot of Americans, Chinese and African Americans are worse than us when it comes to running behind free stuff.

Having considered these two points, one, however, CANNOT justify their irresponsible public behavior. If a certain thing is wrong then it IS wrong. Hogging on a free breakfast is NOT justified just because some American also does it. One has to remember that you are always representing something: be it your country, community, company or your family. One has to always behave him/herself, because your behavior determines the reputation of the entity your are representing. This this even more significant for a developing country like India, which is still trying to find a prominent position in world affairs.

One simple example: After coming to US, a lot of people complain that 'south Indians badly smell of food'. It does not mean that EACH AND EVERY south Indian smells of sambar and rassam. But a few DO. And those few people tarnish the reputation of entire community.Americans, Europeans do not differentiate between a south Indian and north Indian. For them, Indians smell of food. Thus, only a few individuals are good enough to make people believe that Indians smell bad, which, as a matter of fact, is not completely true.

Even Chinese small badly of food. But that doesn't mean that our south Indian brothers are doing well by doing free publicity of our Indian delicacy.

When I read the article, I took it positively... with a message that one has to behave himself and try to be an ideal ambassador for our India. I agree that one single individual cannot change the things....But he can always try from his side, can't he?

Original Article:

TIMES NEWS NETWORK[ FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15, 2004 01:11:11 AM ]MUMBAI:

In a resort, the world is somewhat easier to place. The Japanese see others through a Japanese handycam. The Americans pretend to be friendlier than their president. The French flirt with your wife if she is not British. The Ukrainian will not mind indecent behaviour, for a fee. People from all nations steal the bathrobe. And the Indian? The country's hospitality industry lets out a sigh and flight attendants roll their eyes.

There are unpleasant memories. The middle-class Indian is travelling to the upper reaches of good life and he is feared today by all in the business of standing with folded palms and salaried smiles.

He screams at the hotel staff to secretly ensure good service. He mistakes the waiter for his domestic help back home. He tries to eat everything in the breakfast buffet, because it is obviously profitable that way. His wife is in the pool in a saree, mixing water sports with modesty. And his we-two-ours-two kids are all over the place.

"The new Indian traveller wants attention, he wants slavish respect, he wants to own the place, he wants to swim in the pool in his VIP underwear," says Poonam Sethi, Radisson Hotel's director of sales and marketing. On international flights, he asks for "souvenirs", washes his hands in the plate and snaps his fingers to call the stewardess. "One guy even tried to open the aircraft door thinking it is the toilet," according to a flight attendant.

Cabin crews of international airlines that fly to India are specially briefed about the Indian. "The flight is going to be demanding," is what an air hostess is told by her chief during Cathay Pacific's pre-departure briefings on the Hong Kong-Mumbai flight. "We are clearly asked to be generous with liquor because Indians would want to drink a lot when it is free. If an average international passenger has two drinks during a flight, Indians have four."In her eight-year career, she has seen Indians make bhel from onions and other things brought from home, bathe and smoke in the toilet, and hide under a blanket to flout the seat-belt rule. One man even asked her, 'where is your urinification room?'

"Indians are so feared by the cabin crew that the highest number of sick leaves happen just before the Hong Kong-Mumbai flight," she said. Rupert Bray, the country manager for India, Nepal and Bangladesh was not available to confirm this phenomenon.Part of the high-end leisure industry's grouse against Indians finds its genesis in selfish commercial interests. A suave white man at the breakfast buffet, who does not raid all varieties of food, is more profitable than the experimental Indians. Tips influence the world view of waiters greatly. But even the hotels who claim to suffer the onslaught of the middle-class Indian, admit that he is precious during the lean periods.

Rattan Keswani, senior vice president, Oberoi Hotels and Resorts, does not sympathise with the grievances of high-end resorts. "If you offer those prices, those people will come," he says. "You can't make money out of them and regret having them at the same time." According to him, "the Indian business traveller is a very mature individual and so the Oberoi in Mumbai for example, has no trouble dealing with him at all."Mr Keswani's views are not shared by all.

For several Indian resorts, sales meetings are treacherous confluences where the middle-class Indian male arrives at a wonderland called 5-star, leaving his regulatory wife at home.During such conclaves in Rajasthan, resorts are wary of men from Delhi. "Even during lean periods we try our best not to take conferences from Delhi," an executive of a high-end hotel chain says. "The men are rude and leery towards the female staff. They are insufferable," he adds.During the monsoons in Goa, it pours Indians. Sales, marketing and, of course, HR conferences spill over all facets of high-end resorts. And Scot Adams' men come to life. A photographer, who used to run a boutique in Goa, remembers a sight in a Panjim resort. "These guys were by the pool but didn't know how to swim. So, they brought buckets from their rooms, filled the pool water in the buckets and poured it on themselves," she said.

An Indonesian girl hired by a Goan resort to perform Balinese massage is tired of middle-aged Indians who want, "sex massage". Her understanding employer has told her that if a customer uses the word 'sex' a particular number of times, she could walk out of the room. The chef in the same hotel explains: "When the off-season comes, our boss comes around and tells the workers: Gentlemen, the season has changed. The foreigners are gone and the Indians have landed."

How to mess up your nite

2004-10-13T16:58:00.000-04:00

I came home at 1AM, and realized that I didn’t have any clothes for tomorrow. So decided to do laundry. Logically speaking, it should have been over by 3 AM, which was fine for me.

(I have shifted to Lemans recently, and I had no idea about the laundry machines there. They look innocuous, so I thought they would be similar to ones in Village Green. I had also asked my friends in Lemans.. they were happy with it and said that... $1.25 for washing, and $1.00 for drying would be sufficient. Still, as a precaution, I took quarters for 6 dollars. Now read on...)

1AM: went for laundry.... realized that the washer was too small for all clothes to fit in. So used two washers. Which means I used 5 quarters more for washing... little worried if I had sufficient quarters...Came back to my apt. and talked to Sagar for a while about life in Lemans.

1.45 AM: went to check if washing was done. Saw that all the foam was still intact, and unwashed. Put some more coins.... again a long wait of 40 mins... Went to Nikhil Rane's place... Talked with him for a while about free food at harcombe.

2.30AM: washing was finally over. I had only 4 quarters left. I am little worried... but dryer seems to be good.

3.05 AM: went to check if clothes were dry... and realized that they were still wet, not even close to drying..... hmm... seems to be a long nite

3.10AM: ... oh!!!! i dont have any more coins.... what to do.... i cant leave clothes like that... they will stink. I have to get some more coins.

3.15AM: went to old laundry to get some coins from coin machine. 20 mins walk at midnight. Great experience.

3.30AM: started dryer again... praying that this time they should be OK. Ate 2 apples to keep myself awake.

4.15AM: clothes were still wet. Put a few more coins..... Another 45 minutes....

5.00AM: clothes were about to dry... but little wet.... 4 more coins... 45 more minutes.. Can’t even sleep... can’t even stay awake. Stage of extreme frustration.

5.15AM: Lemans is!!@!#!$#!#$@%@#%@%@$% ? (BAD)!!!

5.45AM: its almost morning... clothes are finally dry. I am almost dead.... and ready to sleep

* Total cost for laundry: 9 dollars
* Lessons learnt: don’t be a fool to leave village green and come to lemans
* Lessons learnt: never sell your car just because u need money to go to India. It’s horrible to walk for 20 mins at 3 o clock in the night to get a few coins.
* Lessons learnt: Never trust people for their words.

Marathi chat

2004-09-29T23:55:00.000-04:00

(If you do not understand marathi, please don't read this. I am sorry, but kindly adjust).

tushar_save (11:57:52 AM): ya saheb ya...
viv1512 (11:58:05 AM): arre alabhya laabh, aaj apan ekdam prakat kase zalat?
tushar_save (11:58:11 AM): apale ya kolishtakachya mayajalat swagat aso
viv1512 (11:58:25 AM): dhanyawaad
viv1512 (11:58:40 AM): sagle kahi kshemakushal?
tushar_save (11:59:28 AM): Arthat swami...tumhi-amhi astana desh dev an dharma kshemakushal asalach pahije
viv1512 (12:00:06 PM): kay re... bebandashaahi baghun ala ki kay
tushar_save (12:00:35 PM): nahi mitra nahi
viv1512 (12:00:51 PM): ani kay mhantos
viv1512 (12:01:05 PM): ikde yenyacha chance ahe ka?
tushar_save (12:01:09 PM): Marathi , hindi and engraji madhe apan bolat ahat. aple bhashadhnyaan prachanda ahe.
tushar_save (12:01:38 PM): Time time ki baat hai pyare...ek chance tera ek mera
viv1512 (12:01:40 PM): good joke
tushar_save (12:01:47 PM): but bad PJ
viv1512 (12:02:06 PM): so aajkal kay navin mohim?
tushar_save (12:02:50 PM): Jeevan ek sangharsh aahe ani toch mala navya navya mohime var pathavto..
viv1512 (12:03:10 PM): bas bas bas.. mansaat ye.
tushar_save (12:03:26 PM): evadhyat?
viv1512 (12:03:56 PM): arre ikde sakal ahe. he sagla vachlyavar sakalchi pahilya dhaarechi ghetlyasarkhi vatte
tushar_save (12:04:47 PM): shant gada dhari bheem shant..aaj ek tar shukravaar aahe ani tu pahilya dharechi vaigare bolun mann vichalit karu nakos...
viv1512 (12:06:22 PM): mann kara re prasanna sarva siddhi che karan....
tushar_save (12:06:24 PM): peeun daru hoil sarv jag hey prasanna
tushar_save (12:07:24 PM): mitra aahes ka?? ki tula MURCCHA yevun to behosh jhalas?
viv1512 (12:07:56 PM): brb
tushar_save (12:08:16 PM): 'brb' mhanje kay re bhau?
viv1512 (12:12:29 PM): be right back
tushar_save (12:12:55 PM): ok ok .. i will also start using that..
viv1512 (12:13:10 PM): see.. u learnt something today from me
tushar_save (12:13:53 PM): dhanyawad mitra..jeevan ek shala aahe ani apun tyatil vidyarthi.
viv1512 (12:14:48 PM): yes, shalaa co-ed ahe, tyat mule ani muli pan astat. te jara soyiche padel
tushar_save (12:17:23 PM): aso aso..baki bol...
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World of cricket

2004-09-20T17:59:00.000-04:00

Cricket..... One word, one sport...and so many sweet memories associated with it. There are people who hate cricket or who don’t follow it... but there are cricket lovers who love this sport more than anything else. Cricket surely has its own charisma. You love cricket or you hate it, you cannot ignore it.

Cricket is not all about technique (otherwise Manjrekar, Artherton, and Boycott would have been gods of cricket). Crickets is not all about grace and style either... (Otherwise Mark Waugh, VVS Laxman, Sourav Ganguly and David Gower would have ruled the cricket world). What makes cricket more interesting is the application of technique, absolute determination and grace to achieve something more than normally expected from a cricketer (that’s why Steven Waugh, Lara, Tendulkar, Dravid, Hyden are great... because they are so determined and focused at their play that they cannot go wrong). Very few cricketers are abundantly talented (a few examples... Imran Khan, Kapil Dev, Akram, Kallis and more recently Andrew Flintoff. I had almost included Ajit Agarkar.... but he himself doesn't know how to utilize his talent. He wasted so many opportunities.. I feel sorry for him)...

Still... cricket is a treat to watch. It’s been a while since I have seen a cricket match, and I miss that dearly. Last time I saw one was the India-Australia test series in December 2003. After the fourth test... I was a big big fan of the artistry of VVS Laxman... he was very very special in that series indeed. I was thinking about that series a few nights back... and thought... these memories; and not a few individuals; make cricket a truly great sport... there are so many of them, and if you are an avid fan of cricket... you would also recollect the thrill associated with such moments. A few instantly came to my mind were:

* Anil Kumble coming out of pavilion with a broken jaw... with bandage all over his face, to bowl to Brian Lara: It was one of the most unforgettable moments for me... India-West Indies test series... Indians were loosing the grip on the game... and Brian Lara was slowly getting in his own mood. His wicket would have given India a victory, but sadly no bowler was looking dangerous. And all of a sudden this guy comes out, when no one expected him to... he had a big fracture in his jaws. He came... he bowled... one can imagine how much pain he would have suffered.. And all that for one wicket... of Brian Lara and for India. Hats off to Kumble.

* Tendulkar hitting Shoaib Akhtar's first ball for a six over covers in 2003 world cup: India-Pakistan match in a world cup.... whoever wins goes to next round... whoever looses goes back home. Akram, Waquar playing their last world cup... out there to prove that they still are the best...Akhtar wanted to bowl the fastest ball...and India needs more than 275 to win the battle. It doesn’t get better than this. Does it??. Indian batting had performed poorly in all the previous games... their supporters back home were furious.. Some of them event attempted to attack players' homes. It was indeed do or die for Indians. A pressure cooker situation.. Akhtar comes running like a horse... and bowls (or throws) to Sachin... I can never forget the way crowd erupted at that moment. India won that match there itself. Memories of Miandad's sixer were erased from our minds. Akhtar has never been at his best against us after that.

Some other unforgettables:

* Warne's first Ashes ball to Gatting: Ball of the century.
* The entire 2001 India-Aus test series: Harbhajan's hat-trick and 32 wickets, VVS Laxman's epic 281 at Eden Gardens, and his partnership with 'the wall' Dravid. India didn't loose a single wicket on 4th day of the match. Isn't that amazing?
* Jawagal Srinath's 6-21 against South Africa in 1996 at Ahmedabad. It was indeed a master-move by Tendulkar to bring Srinath on, on a dead-as a dodo-pitch.
* India-Pakistan series in 1999: India should have won Chennai test. It remains one of the worst failures of Tendulkar's career. It was a shameless act by Mongia, too. And of course 10 wickets for Anil Kumble at Feroz Shah Kotla. It was Sunday.. And Kumble-Harbhajan pair was really giving a lot of trouble to strong Pakistani batting. Last wicket was Wasim Akram :c Laxman b Kumble 37. Laxman caught that bat-pad catch, umpire Jaiprakash rsaised his finger, and thats it!!! No one can forget the celebrations after that. It was a great achievement from a man who can't turn a ball for nuts and still calls himself a spinner and takes all 10 Pakistani wickets.
* If you have seen 'cricket classics' on ESPN-star sports, you can't forget first India-Pak match held at Sharjah: India won it by 38 runs after scoring 125. Full marks to Sunil Gavaskar, for his captaincy and some amazing catches he took in slips.
* And of course 1983 world cup win
* Speaking of catches.... Do you remember Ajay Jadeja taking Border's catch in 1992 world cup?... and a Ganguly's catch taken by James Kirtley in 2002 Natwest series?... it takes a miracle to do something like that.
* One more catch I clearly remember was in 99 world cup: Lance Klusner to Robert Croft.. croft hits a full blooded shot... jonty rhodes leaps in the air, stops the ball in the air, and takes an unbelievable catch...and his feet are still in air. I clearly remember... Bill Lawry was the commentator. He said just 3 words, "He is special". It says all.

There are so many more... these memories make me love this game of bat and ball.

Yell-Wo-See

2004-09-15T09:57:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, the great Ramaswami was having a look at the cultural map of India that we were planning to use for the publicity of 'Day with India'. That map also included Pakistan and Bangladesh, as we all share same culture. This is how the conversation took place.

Ramaswami: This map is wrong!!! We should change it.
Vivek: Why?
Ramaswami: This is for 'Day with India' and not for 'Day with Asia'.
Vivek: But this is a cultural map, not a political one.
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Ramaswami: And what is this?? What IS this!!!
Vivek: ??
Ramaswami: There is a dark black line in this map!!! change the map. (looks at it again)... Oh, actually this is LOC (he pronounced as Yel-Wo-See)
Vivek: Yellow Sea????..... Are you mad?.... how can you have Yellow Sea in Kashmir??
Ramaswami: You are a fool. Where else will you find Yell-Wo-See in India??
Vivek: you are a %^$#@&^!@#

Now whos fault was it?

Finally...scored some runs!!!!!

2004-09-13T01:11:00.000-04:00

Being from Bombay, India; cricket is in my blood. Cricket is a passion for me. I have even seen Bangladesh Vs. Zimbabwe game (No.. I didn't completely see the Holland Vs. UAE game.. that was too boring, I slept mid-match).

I started playing gully cricket since I was 5 (earlier I used to hold the bat in wrong manner... with left hand at the bottom, and right hand on top :D... I am a rightee) and I guess I was good at it.

One of the most enjoyable things I did after coming to Clemson is playing cricket. The "South India Vs North India" matches were really played with the passion and instincts that we have for the India-Pak matches.

I happened to be the opener for our team (that was largely because, A: we were short of players and there was noone to open, B: I potrayed myself as a professional opener... sometimes I blaber anything , especially when I am under the influence of... you know what). My scores were 0, 0, and 0. Balls faced.... 1,2,and 2. First time... caught behind: ball swung too much and the bowler was good. Second time: it was a very good yorker and I didnt have a good grip on my shoes. I fell down. Third time: ball hit a wrong spot on the pitch and.... I was bowled.

It was very shameful. For a next few days, I had tough time to openly roam around in Clemson. I used to come home very late to avoid people directly laughing at my face... you can imagine the situation. It was like falling on face. Cmon, I was not THAT bad a batsman... trust me. I wanted to prove that. And was looking for a nice opportunity to prove that I can do it.

We play cricket on Friday evenings ( means... they play regularly, I go sometimes). Last week, I went after a long time. We played 3-9 overs matches. And I have decided that I will not open again in my life. First match: went in with a score of 4 in 5 overs... we scored 39... and I had a decent contribution. Second match: We had 69 to chase... I scored a duck again!!!... Cmon I was under the pressure of scoring runs and ball was swinging and some old habits take long time to go. We lost both the matches.

It was the third game.... We had to make 47 to win in 9 overs to win... and when I went in we had made only 17 in first 6. Srinivas Cherukpalli was at the other end. 30 runs in 3 overs... Srinivas and I hit a four each and it was 20 in 2 overs. And guess what... we did it... with 3 balsl to spare.... My contribution was a six and 2 more boundaries.... It was indeed a great feeling for me... Felt as if I also can do something in life. Even I can score runs.

And now no-one can call me a choker.

Finally I am happy.

Research on Roaches

2004-08-25T20:39:00.000-04:00

Well well well... we have plenty of opportunity of a great case study here. Roaches are integral part of our apartments. They share our food and they are a very good source of proteins for us. They are very loyal and will never leave our apartment in any case. However.....

However, I have some questions about roaches; please help me in solving these mysteries:

1: why a cockroach doesn’t die in microwave?

2: are they vegetarians or non-vegetarians?

3: where do they go in daytime?

4: what do they do when we don’t cook for a couple of days?

5: how can they eat all podis (south Indian spices), but not red chilly powder?

6: how to mass kill them?

7: do they eat only from one apartment or travel from one apt. to another?

8: what is their reproduction rate?

I haven’t yet found answers to these Qs.

Twin falls trek

2004-08-22T22:27:00.000-04:00

Who says South Carolina is not beautiful????.... Think twice before you say something like that!!!. Go to Twin falls if you want to see sheer beauty of South Carolina.

I never expected that this tiny hike will be so beautiful. Sudhir, Aarthi, Arvind and Maghna were planning to somewhere this weekend. Arvind asked me if I want to join them ( I am very greedy when it comes to trekking... so I also happened to join them). I thought it wont be such a bad idea to go to twin falls this time as I had heard that this place is close by and is a good place for an outing, even though it looks very innocuous.

Pickens county, the entire scenic SC.11 highway is like a paradise. Its like a dream coming true, for someone who always dreams to be close to nature. The entire area is lush green, very refreshing and very picturesque. Its beautiful.

Twin falls is an easy hike into the Eastatoe Creek Gorge. The hike itself is a very pleasant trip through the woods. And when you see the falls first time, you sense the kind of excitement that you are going to experience in a next few moments. Twin falls just invite you towards themselves. And you start walking towards water. But beware, rocks are extremely slippery!!! and you never know when you might fall on your face or butt. Sudhir was nicely demonstrating various methods and ways to fall down, he did it 3 times ( Do ask Sudhir about the experience, if you see him next time). Otherwise, this place is very nice. We could go right to the base of the bigger fall and managed to put our heads right underneath water falling from over 70 feet. It was free back kneading :D. When you see gallons of water pouring on your head from 70-80 feet; its fun, isnt it!!!

On the way back, there is a small pond when one can swim. Water is very clear and not that deep also ( I cant swim for nuts, still I managed to survive). All in all, it was a very nice hike.

And just to make it a perfect day, we had exquisite indian dinner at India Palace.

Who says Clemson is boring??

Chk out these pics: http://community.webshots.com/album/178430244qzLWFY

end of summer trek

2004-08-15T23:16:00.000-04:00

Went to a triple trek this sunday with apna clemson gang. chk out the pics: http://community.webshots.com/album/175597070mGvgva

Covered lower whitewater falls, turtleback falls and rainbow falls. I am going to turtleback and rainbow falls for 3rd time now. I guess I am in love with that place.... such a beautiful place, and its close to clemson also. When I go there, I forget all my worries, problems, and i get that smile of mine back on my face.

I dont know why rainbow falls mystifies me so much. but i go to a different world when i go to the base of the falls. when i see water pouring down in front of me from 200 feets.... spraying water droplets all over the place... its thrilling. everytime i go there, i try to go as close to the falls as possible...its very challenging. there comes a point where the droplets hit you so hard that you cant move an inch... wind is extremely strong, the sound is deafening, water hits you hard, you cant see for nuts, and you cant move. man... it doesnt get much better than that. when I go beneath the falls, there is a stragne mixure of emotions in my mind... there is a feeling of doing something great in life and at the same time, when i look gallons of water pouring down in front of my eyes, i sense the challenge coming up in my life... the challenge of mere surviving.

i will surely recommend you to go there if you are around clemson... at least once... to experience the thrill. this is definitely the best place i have been to after coming here in Clemson.

And dsouza and pal refuse to mature ( chk this pic: http://community.webshots.com/photo/175597070/175608180VHOVfo) and piyush keeps behaving like a teenager.... it was laugh riot all day. Just an example:

We had stopped at Subway to grab a sub. That guy asked Piyush if it was here or to go.... god knows what Piyush heard, but he answered "here you go".

All in all... had some adventure, a lot of fun, some excellent food and 11 great people as company.

God, I hope, I am not asking for too much, if I ask for such treks every now and then. Am I?

How I spent money (and time) this summer...

2004-08-12T16:38:00.000-04:00

It all started with a ' start of summer' trek to Tallulah falls.

1: Tallulah falls ( with Kedar and his CISA gang).... $ 11

2: Rainbow falls ( with Krishna, Vipul, Korade, Ankur)... $ 6

3: Charleston, Myrtle beach (with Sagar, Nikhil, Abhijit)... $90

4: Whitewater rafting, Galtinburg, cherookee, rainbow falls, athens, atlanta ( with Amol, Ashish, Avinash, Ranjit)... $250

5: Six flags ( Clemson public)... $ 75 (including 30 dollar dinner at Minnerva).

6: Atlanta (with Piyush and Jithu)... $10

7: Bought shoes, shirt, etc. for my defense.... $ 87

8: Got my thesis printed.... $150.

9: personal misc. expenses: $120....

Its all going to end with another 'end of summer trek' to whitewater falls.

Man.. I rock!!!

dreams dreams

2004-08-11T11:18:00.000-04:00

It has been my dream since past few years. Dont laugh at it. I want to be a part of the Lonely Planet (I guess its now known as Global Trekkers) crew.

I used to see a lot of Discovery and National Geogrophic back in India. My those days were full of treks and stuff like that. There was this program called Lonely Planet, which used to be telecast on Discovery everyday, and they used to show different cities, regions and countries every day (lateron, they started a new show called Travellers). I never skipped that program. I still remember, one of the anchors was Ian Wright and there was one more, I guess her name was Shilpa Mehta... They used to present that program pretty well. I always wanted to do something like that in my life... just roam around... travel, travel and travel. (read Ian Wright's interview here: http://www.pilotguides.com/community/features/ian_wright_interview.php)

How fascinating it would be to just keep travelling all over the world thru-out my life. I guess I would be really happy if I can do that. Sometimes, I feel like leaving everything behind and just setting off... just going places without bothering about anything (If anyone can sponsor my trips, then that would be great). And when I start thinking about it, I forget everything else and keep thinking about it like a maniac, for hours and days.

Dreams, dreams and dreams... I know they dont come true... but if God grants me one wish, then I will ask him to bring my this dream into a reality. I wont ask for anything else.

Will it come true?... or will it not??.... I guess not, but I still am hopeful about doing something like that in life. Who knows, one day might do it as well.... Who knows... I dont... Do you?

One of those days...:(

2004-08-11T10:47:00.000-04:00

Why does it happen that a day justs start off at a pretty good note and then the entire day goes well; and sometimes you know by yourself that its not going to be your day. Why does the start of the day have so much of an effect on our mind?...

Today seems to be something like that... I just want to be within myself. Feeling very gloomy and dull. Dont want to talk with anyone. Dont know why. I could not sleep last nite... I dont know why. Not that something is bothering me... in fact nowadays I am enjoying my life as much as I can... I can for once say that I am happy.

I was so happy yesterday... and day before...

I had my graduation on saturday. Never thought that it would turn out to be such a nice day. I had never felt so happy and content in my life so far... Then came sunday, which I spent reading a few books. Monday and tuesday went off well as well. I am acting ( not again!!!!) in this CISA welcome party skit. These small things keep me smiling. Not that I am doing something great, but I always used to enjoy being on stage. I remembered my school days. I guess our AID skit was pretty good. At least we all performers enjoyed doing it. We ourselves laughed a lot during that one week of practice and I bet this one is going to be better than the last one.

I want to enjoy my life... but at the same time cant afford to give too much of time to my other interests.... have my future to worry abt and given my luck history, i need to work hard towards it.

Why does it always happen like that? Dont know whats going to happen. Hope I get back to normal soon.

I am graduating...

2004-08-06T16:08:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is my graduation day.... I came to Clemson 2 years back with a few dreams in my mind and tomorrow one of them will come into reality. I am very excited about it. I guess it will be thrilling to walk on the podium with graduation gown and then to receive my degree from the president Barker.

Its a wierd feeling of sorts. Sometimes I feel... what have I done to celebrate this occasion?... afterall its part of life... I mean if you complete all your coursework and research, you will get your degree... whats so special about it..I mean.. why should I celebrate it?.. .. So far, for me, its just another day... somehow I am not yet feeling the graduation blues.

However I am looking forth for August 7th. Just because I am seeing everyone else so excited. I want to be a part of their happiness, and I want to share my happiness with my friends. You know, sometimes you feel great just to make others happy. I will see some of my friends after really a long time , so that will be nice. Am going for lunch with Dr. Jim and Joyce and then for dinner with Madhuri and her parents... lots of food.. I am happy and all geared up.. am skipping my dinner so that I can eat more :D

A list of hiking places I have been to

2004-08-03T00:14:00.000-04:00

Its been on my wish list since past 5 years... to maintain a list of all the places I have hiked. Am trying to list them... will elaborate on my website lateron.

1: Manali- rohtang pass- bias kund trek:

it was my first trek. Directly to himalayas... Actually had just taken my SSC examinations and had 3 month break. My cousin was going for this trek ( his father, my uncle, is an avid trekker and an excellent photographer). When he asked me first... as usual... I laughed at him. Afterall.... why to walk 15 kilometers a day when you can reach that same place by a jeep in an hour.... I mean .. why , rt??... It was not logical for me that time. But then accompnied him for his daily practice sessions ( means carrying 3 liters of water and 3 volumes of world book and walking 6-7 kilometers a day) and somehow I liked it.

Those 20 days I spent with 39 other equally crazy guys are amongst the best days of my life.

2: Treks in sahyadri:

a: from karjat:

bhimashankar ( twice)
dhak beheri ( 3 times... once lost our way)
peth ( twice)
peb
matheran ( one tree hill point)

b: from kalyan:

naneghat ( many times)
jeevdhan
ganesh garad
gorakhgad ( 3 times)
harishchandra gad ( twice)

c: pune region:

lohgad-visapur ( twice)
rajmachi ( twice)
kondane caves
rajgad
sinhagad
torana
purandar
dukes nose

d: kasara region:

kalsubai
ratangad
mahuli

e: konkan region:

karnala
sagargad
sudhagad
sarasgad ( twice)
raigad
pratapgad

f: near mumbai:
kohoj
shirgaon
tandulwadi
vasai

g: satara

sajjangad

h: treks in USA

yellow mountain park trail
tallulah falls ( twice)
table rock falls
rainbow falls ( twice)
turtleback falls ( twice)
wildcat falls
great smokie mountain park trail
raven cliff falls trail

3: rock climbing

karnala
mumbra
kanheri
clemson ( we actually have a rock climbing wall)

4: rapelling:

panorama point, matheran
dukes nose
kanheri
karnala

Want to do many more....

I like trekking ( hiking, as its called here in US)... I like to spend tranquille moments with myself in nature. I like to get wet when it rains cats and dogs. I like to shiver in cold. I guess I am at my best when I am out in a jungle. Many of my friends would agree to it. I visited many of thsoe places more than once... I guess that is in my desiny ( that I keep going to same places again and again)... but each one was a distinct and memorable experience. I had some weird friends... Ashish, Chetan, Amol, Avinash, Kaustubh, Bhushan, Mayuresh and Amit... to name a few... who were equally fanatic about trekking. Many of these treks were unplanned, decided on spur of the moment.

I sometimes sorely miss my trekking days in India. I guess those were the best days of my life...

A conversation...

2004-08-02T23:44:00.000-04:00

Today afternoon, I was sitting with Gati and a few others outside the Fernows street cafe. I know Gati fairly well, so there was no need of introduction etc. Here are the excerpts:

1: Topic of discussion: Environmental Engineering... how easy/difficult the coursework is...

Vivek: So Gati, whats your background?
Gati: tables, trees and street!!!

2: I was trying to log in using my university ID on someone else's laptop, and was unable to do so... I tried to use a different server, named as CU.ROOT.B:

Vivek: yaar....kucch jam nahi raha hai... its not letting me log in.
Gati: Arre you have misspelled the server name... It should be RAUT ( my last name) and not root.

3: Topic of discussion: Laptops... how good/bad they are.... I was going to tell a funny incident.

Vivek: Agar kisika CD chal nahi raha hai to wo kya karega??
Gati: Elevator lega ya fir jump karega!!!!

I am still not sure if that was meant to be funny or she just said it like that. But noone had expected that.

Thanks Gati for making me laugh though.

Addicted to orkut

2004-08-01T00:04:00.000-04:00

Man I can't believe I actually spent more than 16 hours on orkut this weekend. Never did so much of hard work during exams also!!!

Agar maukaa mile to Dsouza aur Bhulawala ko tapkana hai ( cant write this in English as when I did that last time, this site blocked me for using a threatening language!!!). They introduced me to this orkut stuff. I ignored it first, but then Nikhil and Asawari also added me. I had a look at this stuff and liked it.

I got to know about many of my friends in junior college as well as engineering whom I knew well at that time but had lost touch with them since past 4-5 years. It was very nice to know about their current status. Orkut is very nice in that aspect... you get to know what one is doing in life, if you know that chap. In fact, some communities and a few testimonials written for some of my friends are really interesting.

Orkut is addictive. Believe me, it is. I have sent invitation to 180 odd people, and yet my best friends are yet to be invited. Lots of stuff to do...

I wish...

2004-07-29T13:09:00.000-04:00

I wish I was good in writing... sometimes feel as if I want to express myself... just I just cant do that and feel suffocated at the end of the day :(. I will still keep trying. I am not the ones who give up easily. One day... I will be a good writer.

One day!!!

There is one beautiful chick sitting in front of me... man... she is stunning!!!! I cant take my eyes off from her *****.

I will try writing stuff sometime later. Not possible now. C ya for now.

probably a last blog!!

2004-07-26T14:22:00.000-04:00

Man!!!!.. these blogs suck bad time!!!!!

I tried to write something a few times... but then thought: whos going to read it?... even if someone reads it, is that going to make sense to him?... why should it make any sense to him when he has no background of whats going on at that moment???...

I guess I am too lazy to put new blogs every day. I will definitely come back when something really interesting happens in my life.

I promise!!

An urge to do something for them...

2004-07-21T22:50:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday, I was looking at a video made by Aarthi when she visited a village in India that we [Association of India's Development (AID)- Clemson Chapter] are sponsoring ( Visit: www.clemson.edu/~aid, if you want to know more about what we do) . I felt bad to see some of the kids who were badly malnutritioned and were in a sorry state. Worse part was that their parents were not much bothered about it.

It really makes me think about my country.

When I was in India, I was never concerned about looking beyond myself. I was very happy enjoying my day-to-day activities. Its a general attitude amongst many of us... why to bother about things that are not directly related to us?... I was one of those.

It was winter of 2001... some of us started discussing about children in remote villages in India ( mine is one like that, even though I rarely go there ) who do not get any kind of exposure of today's world. They are denied an opportunity to get quality education just because their parents do not have that much of money/ they do not realize the importance of education. Many of such kids waste their lives in doing odd jobs in their villages. We thought of doing something about it from our side. Afterall, its not a fault of those children that they are not sent to school.

Most of us were in our early 20s that time, had just passed out of colleges...in short, we did not have too much of monetory support. But still we started a Student Adoption Scheme (SAS)... to help some children with their education ( books, school fees, uniforms, etc). We collected some money from people we knew and they thankfully trusted us. Our ideas were clear and we knew what we were doing. In it's first year, we sponsored 10 kids, and we were very proud of ourselves that we were contributing in some way towards our community. 3 years back, SAS was a huge success in itself.

Then I came to United States. SAS is still going strong, this year we sponsored 48 students. Sadly, being in USA, I am not of much help to them today.

first blog

2004-07-21T17:04:00.000-04:00

I dont know why I am typing this stuff!!... Normally speaking, I am too lazy to write something about me and my life everyday. First of all, being at a place called Clemson, nothing spectacular happens in life anyways. On top of that, even if something happens, say, for example, I go for a date with a girl, and she slaps me afterwards... why the hell should I let everyone in this world know about it?... I mean.. why?.. right?

But then I have couple of friends, who have nothing to do nowadays. They are useless people. So they write these blogs, and on top of that they send it's link to everyone who exists on mother earth ( english translation of dhaarti maa!!!). So I had to read that, and I liked it. I mean, nothing extraordinary about it, but its fun to read about whats happening in someone else's life, and I thought that it would be fun to write such stuff too.

So I thought "why not me?".. I mean... not that Bush and Kerry are going to read it... but... lets try.. what say?