Sunday, February 12, 2006


I have been writing PJs these days!!... I know most of you got a shock of lifetime reading this. I know, I know, my sense of humour sucks.

Well, it all started on DesiCase, an Orkut community that Sruthi started for the junta at Case. There are not too many Indians at Case (may be 50 or 60 or so), so most of us know each other; and it was definitely fun to know their 'other' side on Orkut.

Soon, Gautam, Prasanna, Sruthi, Prachi and Siva started a forum called "DesiCase Jokes", and we had some nice Pjs on it soon. Not all were original, but they were different, as they tried to add a local flavour to them. Many others joined in, and soon it was a very active and entertaining forum.

I was too tempted to try one myself, couldn't hold myself back. And I enjoyed the whole process: thinking about a PJ, then thinking of people who would fit in it, then developing a small story around a one line PJ, and trying to make it humorous. Not all the Pjs were original, but some of them were, and the story and screenplay is definitely original. Believe it or not, there were days when I would actually think of a situation, and try to cultivate a nice story.

I know that my sense of humor sucks, and I am not a guy who would come up with instant Pjs., It takes me bit longer to think out of the block. However, Its been a very entertaining experience so far. Good thing is that everyone takes it in that vein, and often we end up developing the story. I always look forward to new entries whenever I log on to Orkut.

Here are some from my side:

1: BhandareJi counting 10...

Let me add a bit to the story:

(As far as the story goes, the plot is: BhandareJi and Siva are fellow students of Ms. Sruthi. BhandarJi is totally confused with counting, whereas SivaBhai is a Master of counting {he once even counted # of posts on the DesiCase jokes thread}).

So as usual, BhandareJi had a problem with counting 10. Ms. Sruthi taught SivaBhai how to count 10 by using fingers. So, when BhandareJi came to Ms. Sruthi to seek help in counting 10, Ms. Sruthi sent him to SivaBhai, who showed him how to count 10 using fingers (in case you dont know how to count 10 using your fingers: 1 means 1 finger up, 2 means 2 fingers up.... for 6, go to the other palm/ hand, etc etc).

BhandareJi tried it himself and was fully convinced with that.

A few years later, BhandareJi joins army. He was taking training of using hand-bomb. The instructor told them that the bomb would explode after the count of 10.

BhandareJi remembered his count of 10 taught by SivaBhai. BhandareJi had the bomb in one hand, and started counting...1,2,3,4,5...

When it came to 6, he needed another hand to count. Since he was in standing position, he put the bomb between the thighs. And resumed counting 6,7,8, 9, 10...

Well, rest is history...

2: BhandareJi in school

How do you recognize a BhandareJi in Case Primary School?

BhandareJi is the one who erases the notes from the notebook when Ms. Sruthi teacher erases the blackboard.

3: Siva and Eggplant

Siva, being a strict vegetarian, did not touch the eggplant pizza ever since he came to USA, as he always thought that there would be an egg in it.

On day, Vivek- Siva's best friend, saw that, and convinced him that eggplant does not have egg and its pretty tasty.

So Siva tries eggplant pizza at Guy's pizza on Coventry one day, and likes it. Next day he tries eggplant Parmesan at Tommy's-Coventry, and likes it. Third day, he tries eggplant sandwich at Dave's- Coventry, and loves it.

Siva, still being a graduate student (his OPT is yet to arrive, so he hasn't joined Bloomberg yet), is out of money to buy any more eggplant dishes.

So he goes to Apt 617, Fairhill Towers (voted as the most high-tech apt of Cleveland {HTAC}) and borrows 10 eggs from Vivek and Tejas.

A month later, Siva returns to HTAC for 10 more eggs. Again, a month later he comes back to HTAC for 10 more eggs (still no OPT, Siva is getting poorer).

Finally Vivek asks him whats the matter. Siva says: "I am trying my best to plant the eggplant using the eggs I got from you, but no luck yet. But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' says Siva, 'I think I'm planting them too deep and giving it too much water, and may be too less sunshine, and ......'

Vivek faints.

4: HTAC and battery

Since Siva was responsible for having HTAC in a messed up state, and since HTAC is a Cleveland heritage, Siva took it upon himself to clean the apartment.

He called Prasana, Ghauthamh, and Moiz for help. Calling Sruthi and Meghna was of no use, as girls never do any hard work.

Since there was no detergent at home, Siva requested Janki to get some of it. Janki started driving his car to Giant Eagle, but his battery failed soon.

Since he had Geico, he called roadside assistance. Surprisingly, the mechanic was desi. His name was Aditya Ranade.

Janki: "RanadeBhai, battery change karma hai"

Ranade: "EXIDE (in ghaati accent, Ek Side)- lagaa du?"

Janki: Kyon, doosraa side tera baap lagaayegaa?

Ranade took his mobile and tried to call India... #%%^%$^%$^

5: Siva and DeviPrasadh

I overheard this conversation in yesterday's party:

Siva: Maccha, how do you spell "Philadelphia"?

Prasadh: "F-I-L-A-D-E-L-F-I--A"

Siva: No, that's wrong

Prasadh: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

6: Orange Juice

So I came late for the party. Since I was hungry, I went to the kitchen to grab some food. I saw Sruthi statued near the fridge.

I waited for a bit, but Sruthi was very seriously looking in the fridge. So I had a closer look at what she was upto.

So I asked: "Sruthi, what are you staring at?"

Sruthi: "Its a bottle of Orange Juice".

She didnt even blink. As usual, her face was very serious and confused.

Vivek: "So, why are you starting at an orange juice container?"

Sruthi: "Because it says 100 % CONCENTRATE"

7: Bday gift to Siva

I overheard this a few mins. back.

Prasanna: Hey Siva, Happy B'day. (grabs a big chunk of cake, and also reluctantly gives Siva a gift)

Siva: Thanks (kinda irritated seeing Prasanna eating the cake as pig (or tiger??) )

Prasanna: (not happy with that look) BTW, how do you know that its your Bday??. Do you still remember it?

Siva: My mother told me. So I asked father, and he also told me same day. So I asked my grandfather, grandma, uncle.. and they all came up with same day. So I thought, its a high degree of coincidence that all of them have come up with same answer. So I had no choice but to believe them. How do you know that you actually landed on earth on 24th Nov??

Prasanna takes his gift back and walks out


8: Detective N. Moiz

Good to see DesiJokes entering the 4th hundred. Here is another one:

Our most beloved friend N. Moiz decided to start a detective agency in Cleveland, Ohio. Given the crime rate in Cleveland, his business had some prospects. Even fellow-detective T. siva decided to join hands with N. Moiz, leaving behind his Bloomberg job, Lexus and even Suneeta.

However, as soon as detective N. Moiz announced the company, he placed a big order of Red Color ka Asian Paint (yeah, Meghna wala red). Sruthi teacher was quite amazed to hear that. Unable to hide her feelings, she went to detective N. Moiz, and asked him:

Sruthi: Detective N. Moiz, why this?.. Do you know what you are doing??

N. Moiz (chewing pineapple) ( Moiz doesn't like carrots, and he also wants to be original): Yes Sruthi, I know what I am doing. I want lots of red color, as I want to catch everyone "red" handed.!!!

9: contd..

At this point, detective T. Siva and detective N. Moiz had a split...

The reason:

Detective N. Moiz, being 7 ft tall, had lots of problems in getting DOWN TO EARTH. In spite of trying his best he could only go DOWN TO HIS KNEES. So detective T. Siva started operating from basement and detective N. Moiz started working in same office.

But one day it all changed. One day, detective N. Moiz came running to detective T. Siva's office, with his 2 India suitcases and what not, as if he's going to spend rest of his life in basement. Detective T. Siva asked detective N. Moiz about the urgency.

Detective N. Moiz said " I have got a new project, where I am supposed to be UNDER-GROUND. So I am here !!!"

10: Bombay girl

So the question was:

What are 4 stages in a life of a Bombay girl??





hamaal (saari duniya ka boj uthati hai)

11: Vivek W and Vivek R

After waiting for so many years, Vivek W finally bought his dream car, an Audi V 6.

He was thrilled, excited, and on top of the world driving his V6 to Fairhill Towers.

He asked his best friend, the most trustworthy man in NorthEast Ohio, and a car guru, Vivek R to come down and have a look at his car.

Vivek R had a look at the car.

And then Vivek R told Vivek W :"Dude your car looks amazing. It has everything that one can dream of. You have been very thoughtful in your choice".

Vivek W told Vivek R: "Yeah dude, it has everything that should be there in a car. Bose speakers, 3 CD music system, GPRS, a mini screen for movies.. everything!!"

Vivek R asked Vivek W: "But why does it NOT have air conditioning??"

Vivek W said: "I dont need AC in my car. Dude, Its a COOL car."


There are many others and better ones from other people, but I would like to put a few PJs by our PJ guru, Dr. Gautam (hope Gautam doesnt mind this. If you are reading this Dr. G, the copyright is still yours). He even made couple of them right in font of us. And that IS some skill.

12: Return of detectives T. Siva and N. Mois

So these detectives solved a tough case. The university decided to felicitate them on their great achievement. Since both of them had contributed equally towards the solution of this 'Case of missing donuts', both of them were to be felicitated in the Strosacker auditorium.

On the day of the ceremony, N. Mois walked in T. Siva's room. T. Siva was getting ready. He put on a nice suit (same one he had put on for his Bloomberg interview), and he put some limes in the pocket. N. Mois was puzzled to see this. Being a very inquisitive person, he asked T. Siva, " Why are you putting limes in your pocket?"

T. Siva said, " The organiser of the felicitation function called me and said that you and me, both of us will share the limelight in today's function. I am taking some extra limes so that there will be enough limelight for both of us!"

N. Mois started rolling on the floor!!!

13: Contd.

N. Moiz and T. Siva solved their first case successfully (someone had stolen Meghna's Einstein Bro. bagel while she had run down to say hi to someone in ISS office, N. and T. found out who that was! After solving the case, N. Moiz said "Elementary, T. Siva" exactly in Sherlock Holmes style, to bring a little novelty he replaced Holmes' tobacco pipe with plastic pipe).

After their success, T. Siva insisted that they move their detective agency office to the basement. N. Moiz was puzzled. T. Siva was very adamant on doing that. Finally N. Moiz asked him, "Why? Why do you want to move to basement suddenly?"

T. Siva replied, " 'Cos even after any success, one should always stay DOWN TO EARTH!"

14: Siva joins Bloomberg!

So Siva defended his MS and was all set to move to NY to join Bloomberg. He decided that he'll drive to NY, so he rented a SUV that could fit all his stuff. Prasadh, being a thick (not literally) friend of Siva, was helping him in packing etc. The day of his moving came. Siva and Prasadh loaded all the bags in the car.

Prasadh asked Siva, "Macha, did you take directions to your new apartment?"

Siva replied, "No, I am fine."

Prasadh asked, "What do you mean you are fine? Won't you need to know the route?"

Siva coolly said, "No raa, I don't need all that. I'll reach there without any trouble."

Prasadh was confused, "What are you saying? Why wouldn't you need to know your route?"

Siva smiled and said, pointing at his rental car, "Look, I've rented a Nissan Pathfinder. It will find its own path, why do I need to know it?"

Prasadh fell at Siva's feet!

15: Another one at the party

Prachi and Sruthi had already had 3 rounds of eating, and are pretty full.

Prachi: Sruthi, I am really stuffed, but I can have a dessert. Do you want to go for one last course?

Sruthi: Course? Sorry Prachi, I am already done with my course-work, I won't take any more courses...

Prachi starts singing 'kajra re' in 'aati kya khandala' tune...

16: Vivek and Tejas

Another conversation overheard...

Tejas: Aditya sings so well, I want to learn singing too, Vivek.

Vivek: (gulp- takes another sip of his beer)

Tejas: But I don't learn things so quickly, I take time to learn anything new...

Vivek: (another big sip) Hmm...I used to be same, but not anymore, no problems in learning anything new now...

Tejas: why? what happened?

Vivek: (Empties the can) 'Cos now I work in the learner research institute at Case!

17: continued...

One day, prasanna explained to bhandare that he meant 10 hr 11 min, and bhandare got confused 'cos 10 and 11 are successive no.s.
Bhandare decided to pull the same prank on someone else. Two hours later he met Siva. Siva asked him the time. Bhandare said, "Its twelve-thirteen". Siva said, "fine, thanks." Bhandare got confused b'cos Siva did not get confused! He repeated 2-3 times, "its twelve-thirteen". Siva said thanks each time. Finally Bhandare got mad and shouted at Siva," Oye, aren't u confused if time is 12 o'clock or 13 o'clock? Why aren't u giving me confused looks?"

Siva just ran away!!

18: Wake up everyone!

Level 0.1 joke...

Why does Meghna prefer a basement apartment?

'Cos she is doing PhD, and PhD requires a study of a subject IN DEPTH!

There are many more, which you can read on the community forum.

And Siva's PJs need a separate blog for themselves. More on that in coming days...

No comments: